Long Shtick Poems

Epigrams by Michael R. Burch

If brevity is the soul of wit
then brevity and levity 
are the whole of it.
—Michael R. Burch

To write an epigram, cram.
If you lack wit, scram!
—Michael R. Burch

Conformists of a feather
flock together.
—Michael...

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My most popular poems on the Internet (II)

A number of my poems and translations have gone viral, according to Google, and some have been copied onto hundreds to thousands of web pages. That’s a lot...

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TRUMP POEMS AND EPIGRAMS I

These days Trump's fraudian slip is always showing. — Michael R. Burch aka “the Loyal Opposition”

Trump seems to prefer demon-crazy to democracy.— Michael R. Burch

Under Trump American democracy is going the...

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I have an aunt out in Cali,
we used to visit every year,
she had a yoga studio,
and my grandmother used to cheer

how she was a ‘modern woman,’
could do everything by herself,
and didn’t need to ‘find a...

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Father time legendarily and Omni potently 
 existentially linkedin, binding cradle to grave 
since advent of homo sapiens, the whiffed bald credo 
 an employee most adhere ta have 
and keep source of income, subtly...

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TRUMP POEMS AND EPIGRAMS III

Trump's real goals are obvious
and yet millions of Americans remain oblivious.
—Michael R. Burch

Our awful unlawful "president"
will soon be a jailhouse resident.
— Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly...

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" A Sense of Humor ... "

( A Satirical Moral )


'Somewhere,  There's A Sense of Humor'
Said The Jack In The Box
'We Keep A Sense of Humor'
Said The Gambler's Tokens At The Slots

'I Don't Like...

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Joe Cocker: Born: 1944-05-20 - Died: 2014-12-22
A Woodstock discover
While singing a cover
With a Little Help from My Friends
And it was a shocker
To find that Joe Cocker
Gravelly voice finally ends

Ken Weatherwax: Born 1955-9-29Died:2014-12-7
Pugsley Adams was my...

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10/17/19
"Brand New"


I'd be damned to quit
Putting out some brand new s***
With a brand new drip
In my a step a brand new skip

Brand new tint
Steering wheel with a brand new grip
In a brand new whip
With a...

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Working class zero.


The art of poetry is to write what you are thinking;
The best poetry sometimes, comes without you needing to think.
I write from the soul 
And sometimes I use my subconscious mind to do...

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A battered pier glass, the length of a running lightning,
The width of a Caesarean window,
And next to an agelong, framed
Daguerreotype, lies face down across
A musty room.
Shafts and rods of robust sunlight from cracks and holes
Make...

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What's happened recently I have to tell. (Hiccup)
Wish I could muddle through without a screw-up.
It starts out at a comic show. (Hiccup)
The stand-up doing jokes was such a crack-up 
my laughter turned to choking then,...

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Pinhead Lizard
Ever since he was a young boy
He played with balls of fire
From church halls to Soho brothels
He must have had them all
Aint seen nothing like this pinhead
In any amusement hall

That deaf, dumb and dumber...

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I knew a man, a jokester, who--
full of himself--had not a clue
of how to have some fun without 
annoying people. Then he'd pout
when others wouldn't speak to him. 
His outlook was quite gray and grim,
but...

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Two billion people are of the Christmas persuasion,
Two billion people celebrate that most joyous occasion.

If that is true, Santa has to visit 23,148 people every second.
Which really is an awful lot as near as I...

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To write poetry for me is passionate cause,
At first glance, you might think it's advice,
But with sharing what I think are lessons I’ve learned,
I could save myself making the same mistake twice,
And you pausing to...

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Packaged and sent to Robert Gorelick’s
Made him a Doggy Book Of Limericks
That had me roaring-unique
Some were cute and very chic
A twisty phrase he pulls-off, are his tricks

A postcard; his picture, a return address
Newly printed and...

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Freddie the furlough 
Sat there with his Merlot 
Watching the sun go up and down
While his body got tan and brown 
They said they had full control 
That is what Freddie the Furlough was told...

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Love is unconditional,  but promises are not
When love is not requited such are promises, forgot

Vows deferred as if uncertain sounds of rhetoric
Seems times and seasons, rhymes and reasons were only shtick
Yet the desire deferred...

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What's with all those infomercials 
Those people talking in circles 
Trying to sell you stuff you don't need 
Tell you their product will do this guaranteed 

They are always on really late 
With their shtick...

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That dreadful day i went over to play,
Husbands and wives, we called  a date, 
She said she would cook for the both of us,
And commit crimes of the flesh as it were the last...

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NAME DROPPER

One day I had lunch with the Queen
We ate fresh garden peas round and green
One of mine rolled toward her
Sent back in short order
“No thanks, One don’t know where it’s been”

On that day I...

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The guide with his cheesy hat, and colorful umbrella
encourages us to: gather 'round.

His anecdotal spiel is by rote,
his shtick fact-slim and slick,
but it’s also my current gestalt
as I am dragged unwillingly
along by his ‘cliff-notes’ speech.

One...

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News is abhorring
And so boring
Starting from the break of dawn
I think we need
To be indeed
Vaccinated for the yawn

They always try
The same tired lie
Their old shtick goes on and on
I’ll catch my death
With lack of breath
If...

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I’m riding the subway (the 4)
Where you never know what is in store.
	A character stood
	Ranting loudly he should
Have a seat, which I tried to ignore.

His ravings got louder until
Someone rose to accede to his will.
	Though...

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