Long Security guard Poems
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TO THE TUNE OF IT WAS ON A MONDAY MORNING WHEN THE GAS MAN CAME TO CALL
It was on a Monday morning I went to the shopping mall
Folk filled huge trolleys sky high, to ensure they got their haul!
It was on a Tuesday morning I went to the shopping mall
All the food shelves were empty, it had been a free for all!
It was on a Wednesday morning I went to the shopping mall
People fighting over toilet rolls, I saw them have a brawl!
It was on a Thursday morning I went to the shopping mall
People grabbed 6 packs of pasta, I was gobsmacked at their gall!
It was on a Friday morning I went to the shopping mall
They had no stocks of loo paper, I’m climbing up the wall!
It was on a Saturday morning I went to the shopping mall
A security guard was at the door, he looked Neanderthal!
It was on a Sunday morning I didn’t bother with the mall
Shops out of stock, the mall is shut - I’m off on a pub crawl!
Mainly fiction and despite the fact we do not have the virus on our Island at the moment, people are stock piling we have no pasta, loo rolls or tinned food in some of our shops at the moment. from midnight yesterday anyone arriving has to self isolate for 14 days, some planes will not land as crew would need to be quarantined!
3/18/20
I overdrew my bank account.
Then told the bank to print more money to cover it.
They told me there was no interest in doing that.
I suggested a moratorium on pursuing the matter.
They suggested I not write any more checks.
I told them I was drowning in debt.
They asked who pushed me into the pool.
I wept and cried as I toweled myself off.
I asked if they could suspend my rent/mortgage payments
car payments, child care/support payments etc.
The said it wasn’t their job to bail me out.
I reminded them that the GOVERNMENT
(aka taxpayers like me) had bailed them out.
They called in an armed security guard
to escort me from the building.
Wait till they see what’s going on with my credit cards!!!
John G. Lawless
She barged through the doors of the bank with her gun
And shot the security guard just for fun
She fired her gun and yelled “Down on the floor,
I’ve shot me one man, I could shoot a few more!”
One customer, Jenna, said, “Hold up, you cretin,
You half witted loser, it’s jail you’ll be gettin,
You charge in this bank with that soppy old pistol
I think I might kick your ass from here to Bristol.”
The robber, fired two bullets into the ceiling
And said, “I shall shoot anybody not kneeling.”
Jenna said, “I’m gonna laugh as you fry.”
The robber said, “You’d better reach for the sky.”
Armed police turned up; one lady arrested
Based on the ‘facts’ that another attested
The robber’s at home playing video games
And Jenna’s in jail for calling her names
And all the police wonder what to expect
Now that they’ve lost any public respect
At lunch break they wonder how low they could stoop
When they’re as inviting as watered down soup.
[What a coincidence; a poem about someone called Jenna enduring an injustice. Pure chance… honest, Guvnor!]
Every morning,
When the first bell rings,
I bite down a curse,
And try to give up sleep.
I fail, of course,
As I run down the street,
Skipping breakfast,
So that cranky old thing
Won’t win. Then,
Every 40 minutes it rings,
Like a broken record
(It’s what it’s meant to be).
On the corridor,
There is rusty crusty thing,
Obviously replaced
By the newer technology.
Close to midnight,
A child’s curiosity peaked,
She rang and called
A demon that was asleep.
-For the Bells poetry contest sponsored by Kim Rodrigues
-this is about alarms and school bells, and of course that one time a friend of mine decided to ring the very old traditional bell on the corridor in the middle of the night. Apparently someone came, asking for who it was, and blah, blah, blah. But hearing voices in the middle of the night is scary (even though it was most probably the school security guard), considering that our school is right next to a graveyard.
The Natural High©
Long before there was an opium crisis
And before we even heard of ISIS
We too were looking for that hi(gh)
It might be at church and in the choir nearby
Or just to sing a ring a ling a ding
With our friends and neighbors we would bring
High as a kite had a different meaning
Ours was on a string in the sky; in and out it was weaving
Playing in the school yard
Did not require a security guard
Using a needle and taking a chance
Sounds less fun than being at a school dance
Being out of it meant taking a seat during a game
Not your head in a cloud to stay sane
Glue was for art class and a lot of fun
Not for sniffing by anyone
A snort was something a horse did
Not a white powder up the nose to be rid
An arm was for wrestling
Not a pin cushion for testing
We didn’t need a pill to chill
We thought life was enough of a thrill
A cocktail was a drink
Not something that would make you shrink
A concoction was something you made up in class
Not a chemistry brew you grew
It just seems to me as I read this stuff
The natural high was good enough
Andreas Simic©
...So why do we keep ghosts in here
when by the day many folks die?
Well, you see, it’s technology,
it tears them apart from the inside.
Since they are merely energy
all the fields from our gadgets and toys
scatter their essence all about,
it’s a fate free ghosts can’t avoid.
These ones here we were lucky to save,
and we need to find more all the time,
some go to heaven, others to hell,
each morn we know not what we’ll find!
Nearby is the mummy’s lair,
and it causes controversy,
some say that they shouldn’t be here,
that they are just dressed-up zombies.
Others claim it’s a magic thing,
which makes them a whole other clade,
I honestly don’t’ care that much,
the people come see them in spades.
Some were even Egyptian pharaohs,
though which, we’re not really sure,
professors have tried to talk to them,
to see what history they can learn.
Hollywood has rented them out
for their movies, and they pay so well,
sometimes they seem to try to speak,
though what they say, no one can tell.
Most people like to hear them moan,
like they did in the films of old,
did you know mummies really do that?
And if they catch you they’ll grab hold?
Sadly, they do not do much more.
We don’t see them often these days,
not many folks still mummify,
and the old ones have been grave-robbed,
in the wild they don’t survive.
Keeping them stocked up with linen
makes all the zookeeper’s tired,
but let’s down to the big show,
the place where we keep the vampires.
Now these guys are a unique case,
since they’re not critters, but our guests,
they’re sentient like human beings,
to lock them would be to oppress.
We build them big apartments here,
with a back-room facing the zoo,
we pay them to visit with folks,
and tell lots of stories to you.
Since vampires are immortal
so many great tales can they share,
want to know how Jesus Christ died?
Well our guy Julius was there!
They can leave any time of course,
some of them even punch the clock.
Wilhelm is a security guard,
walks the night shift like any cop.
Some thing, but won’t he feed on folks?
It hasn’t been that was for years,
since transfusions and blood banks came
there has been no reason to fear.
They no longer had to kill people,
staying alive didn’t mean murder,
they’d get their pints, go on their way,
no reason to bite folks or disturb...
CONCLUDES IN PART IV.
I was walking down the pavement
I seemed to be going through a rough patch
I had to do some house payment
But it seemed complicated I had to start from scratch
The payment doing was in my mind
When I saw a young man in my yard
He seemed low, otherwise he was kind
His attire made him seem like a security guard
I watched him until he got close
The walk seemed familiar though
And his face didn't make sense
You couldn't exactly tell his moods or emotions
He took out a sharp knife and stabbed me several times
I laid down there helpless and saw you heading our way
And the most painful thing was that I saw you shaking hands with him
Love is a puzzle to her, armed to perplex.
She does not understand it,
Is confounded,
Although surrounded
By others who seem to all be in love.
She walks quickly past,
Trying to ignore the
Handholding and the kisses,
Not in public she mutters to herself,
But deep inside, not aloud,
Not wanting any attention.
Afraid of being noticed.
“Hey!” someone yells.
She puts her head down
And keeps running.
Does not stop until she gets
Safely inside the library.
“That guy was trying to get your attention,”
The security guard tells her.
She ignores him too.
Angry that she is terrified of love.
And of conversation.
She does not make eye contact.
So he gently places the notebook
she had dropped next to her on the table.
“Thanks,” she says
Without looking up.
Without noticing his kind blue eyes.
Without seeing that he would have been interested.
If she had looked up even one time
Or if she had smiled
Or if she had done
Anything
Human
At
All….
Security guard
I was broke, no work for me at the shipping office,
got a job guarding tractors; sat in a hut that was cold and had no heating
and bad light. Well, this job was better than sitting at home
lamenting my unemployment, but my god was it boring.
Sat on a tractor pretending I was a farmer ploughing a potato field,
and that was tedious too. The uniform they had given me
was too small for my frame looked like a walking scarecrow.
At midnight another guard came to take over and I asked him
how he could survive the tedium. Me, he said I go to sleep
I have full time work during the day.
Next day I got a phone from the shipping office it had been
difficult they said I had a reputation for not playing ball
and being argumentative; took the job handed in my uniform.
seven women in new city have been murdered
in less than three months
news anchors keep the fear level high
women are afraid to leave their homes
especially at night
they have stopped clubbing
stopped playing cards
they are immobile some days
fear has paralyzed them
if they work nights they have a security guard walk them to their cars
checking under them and in the back seat before driving off
They roll down their windows and thank the security guard
One of the popular ones is Hank.
He loves walking them to their cars.
Likes that they feel safe with him.
Most never know they are thanking the murderer
before they drive off….
Hal walks back into the hospital,
shopping for his next victim.