Long Security guard Poems
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Security guard
I was broke, no work for me at the shipping office,
got a job guarding tractors; sat in a hut that was cold and had no heating
and bad light. Well, this job was better than sitting at home
lamenting my unemployment, but my god was it boring.
Sat on a tractor pretending I was a farmer ploughing a potato field,
and that was tedious too. The uniform they had given me
was too small for my frame looked like a walking scarecrow.
At midnight another guard came to take over and I asked him
how he could survive the tedium. Me, he said I go to sleep
I have full time work during the day.
Next day I got a phone from the shipping office it had been
difficult they said I had a reputation for not playing ball
and being argumentative; took the job handed in my uniform.
I overdrew my bank account.
Then told the bank to print more money to cover it.
They told me there was no interest in doing that.
I suggested a moratorium on pursuing the matter.
They suggested I not write any more checks.
I told them I was drowning in debt.
They asked who pushed me into the pool.
I wept and cried as I toweled myself off.
I asked if they could suspend my rent/mortgage payments
car payments, child care/support payments etc.
The said it wasn’t their job to bail me out.
I reminded them that the GOVERNMENT
(aka taxpayers like me) had bailed them out.
They called in an armed security guard
to escort me from the building.
Wait till they see what’s going on with my credit cards!!!
John G. Lawless
She barged through the doors of the bank with her gun
And shot the security guard just for fun
She fired her gun and yelled “Down on the floor,
I’ve shot me one man, I could shoot a few more!”
One customer, Jenna, said, “Hold up, you cretin,
You half witted loser, it’s jail you’ll be gettin,
You charge in this bank with that soppy old pistol
I think I might kick your ass from here to Bristol.”
The robber, fired two bullets into the ceiling
And said, “I shall shoot anybody not kneeling.”
Jenna said, “I’m gonna laugh as you fry.”
The robber said, “You’d better reach for the sky.”
Armed police turned up; one lady arrested
Based on the ‘facts’ that another attested
The robber’s at home playing video games
And Jenna’s in jail for calling her names
And all the police wonder what to expect
Now that they’ve lost any public respect
At lunch break they wonder how low they could stoop
When they’re as inviting as watered down soup.
[What a coincidence; a poem about someone called Jenna enduring an injustice. Pure chance… honest, Guvnor!]
I'd like to take this opportunity to express a full measure of sympathy
To the family of the late Mortimer Snurd, an amputee whose plight moved us
to gimpathy
And to his wife Anabelle Fofoofnik Snurd, whose wobbly gait triggered
our limpathy
--Not to mention his poor children, upon whom we showered our impathy.
Of course, there's the Snurd's loyal family mutt, Blurd, who gets all of
our Rin-tin-timpathy,
Yes, even their security guard, Slurd, who couldn't prevent four break-ins,
receives our wimpathy.
And as we part from you, O Snurds, here's a little song to demonstrate our
bim-bom-bimpathy:
Cheery-bim, Mortimer Snurd
Cheery-bom, Annabelle
Cheery-bim, Blurd
Cheery-bom, Slurd
Cheery-bim-bom-bim-bom-bim-bom
--How Absurd!
GHOST AND THE DARKNESS
Daunting, a late night movie, just before the verge of night spills into your lair. You can’t bury the dark at those times. The roar in the blackout. The snore at the opposite side of the bed deters the sound of brightness from alleviating the crushing bones of dendrites. You can sense the mane burgeoning, prickling your pulsing veins. Tenuous, the trick of closing your eyes in the dark, then opening them. The bough of a Tsavo tree clings to an impotent rifle. Ghosts hang on even as your eyelids hit the whites of your pillow. And the snore next to you, the heaving in and out of an otherwise safety net, reminds you of the full-bodied lions. Sleep well, before the images pounce, with muscular and meaty might, landing on your mattress. Your sheets pin you to a nightmare with no escape. Thunder and rotting breath roll you onto the dusty floor, long grasses hide only the scanty mane duo, the stuffed carnivores of Chicago’s Field Museum fame. Night at the Museum, the score not a respite. The bite packed into stateside, impactful. Sleep well as the window panes rattle, and morphing morbidity sneaks up on you. Keep watching scary movies just before your tired bones grind out a toss’n turn.
12/14/2020
Tsavo Maneaters were fictionalized in the movie Ghost and the Darkness. The real cats were maneless. They killed around 35 men who were constructing a bridge in Kenya. Night at the Museum is a comedic movie that brings a museum to life as the night security guard keeps watch
Morning comes alive and the sound of fire crackers erupted in the skies; the traffic began to flow smoothly and I could hear a distance sound resonating in the background and as I get closer to my destination, I felt a strange sensation around me and something preying upon my dignity and the sound gets louder and louder.
It is one of those familiar tunes that gets on your nerves and presses you against the wall and pull the words from your lips and before you know it the big gate opens and the crowd rushes in to listen to the final verdict.
Everyone saddles up in their winter gears wearing turtle neck sweater to trap the cold air and decorative silk scarf to make them look bold. I saw more than a hundred men walking courageously down the marble tiled corridor wearing slick pants suit and a special shoe that cries out with a creak when they walked along the marbled tiled floor.
I didn’t know which way to turn so I followed the men everywhere they go and I ended up at the constitution chamber and a group of people were sitting patiently waiting for me. My heart was beating faster than before as if I was going to a wedding that had some misgiving but when the security guard came and open the side door the stage was already for the proceedings to begin and the dressed men walks in and sits quietly.
Solemn is the king that render his will and matchless is the bride whose pride was taken just before midnight and the blood stained bed with torn up sheet evidence the struggle that ensued when she tried to escape through the gate.
The flamboyant crowd erupts just before the proceeding was about to begin and the wind start to blow rooting out strong trees from the ground and the people start to scream and suddenly, I woke up from my dream when the wind enters the flamboyant hall way.
There is a place where the children like to go
They have games and a show
And tables all in a row
The security guard you might already know
Once the doors close you have five nights
Full of frights and delights
Soon the prize room will have no lights
That's when the chicken and fox like to bite
Maybe you should just wear a blindfold
Please no running or you might get trampled
You can eat the pizza but its probably old
Stay clear of the fox's upgrade cause you might get mangled
Its time to go even if you didn't get hurt
Sorry the pizza wasn't just old it was also burnt
Have some ice cream for dessert
Don't forget your free hat and t-shirt
My 9yr old son requested this
This is for you Liam3/25/2017
Today I went to the shopping mall
A few items I needed to purchase
I decided to have a coffee and snack
Then went to Tim Horton's to order
Paid for it then walked to an area
Where I could enjoy my coffee and snack
There wasn't anywhere to sit down the
seated areas were all taken away
So stood near a railing to lean on
The security guard came to tell me
I could not eat or drink coffee here
So I went outside to have my snack and coffee
I understand the reason not sit down to eat
The virus has changed everything now
So now I have decided to eat breakfast at home
Then go shopping at the shopping mall
...So why do we keep ghosts in here
when by the day many folks die?
Well, you see, it’s technology,
it tears them apart from the inside.
Since they are merely energy
all the fields from our gadgets and toys
scatter their essence all about,
it’s a fate free ghosts can’t avoid.
These ones here we were lucky to save,
and we need to find more all the time,
some go to heaven, others to hell,
each morn we know not what we’ll find!
Nearby is the mummy’s lair,
and it causes controversy,
some say that they shouldn’t be here,
that they are just dressed-up zombies.
Others claim it’s a magic thing,
which makes them a whole other clade,
I honestly don’t’ care that much,
the people come see them in spades.
Some were even Egyptian pharaohs,
though which, we’re not really sure,
professors have tried to talk to them,
to see what history they can learn.
Hollywood has rented them out
for their movies, and they pay so well,
sometimes they seem to try to speak,
though what they say, no one can tell.
Most people like to hear them moan,
like they did in the films of old,
did you know mummies really do that?
And if they catch you they’ll grab hold?
Sadly, they do not do much more.
We don’t see them often these days,
not many folks still mummify,
and the old ones have been grave-robbed,
in the wild they don’t survive.
Keeping them stocked up with linen
makes all the zookeeper’s tired,
but let’s down to the big show,
the place where we keep the vampires.
Now these guys are a unique case,
since they’re not critters, but our guests,
they’re sentient like human beings,
to lock them would be to oppress.
We build them big apartments here,
with a back-room facing the zoo,
we pay them to visit with folks,
and tell lots of stories to you.
Since vampires are immortal
so many great tales can they share,
want to know how Jesus Christ died?
Well our guy Julius was there!
They can leave any time of course,
some of them even punch the clock.
Wilhelm is a security guard,
walks the night shift like any cop.
Some thing, but won’t he feed on folks?
It hasn’t been that was for years,
since transfusions and blood banks came
there has been no reason to fear.
They no longer had to kill people,
staying alive didn’t mean murder,
they’d get their pints, go on their way,
no reason to bite folks or disturb...
CONCLUDES IN PART IV.
Love is a puzzle to her, armed to perplex.
She does not understand it,
Is confounded,
Although surrounded
By others who seem to all be in love.
She walks quickly past,
Trying to ignore the
Handholding and the kisses,
Not in public she mutters to herself,
But deep inside, not aloud,
Not wanting any attention.
Afraid of being noticed.
“Hey!” someone yells.
She puts her head down
And keeps running.
Does not stop until she gets
Safely inside the library.
“That guy was trying to get your attention,”
The security guard tells her.
She ignores him too.
Angry that she is terrified of love.
And of conversation.
She does not make eye contact.
So he gently places the notebook
she had dropped next to her on the table.
“Thanks,” she says
Without looking up.
Without noticing his kind blue eyes.
Without seeing that he would have been interested.
If she had looked up even one time
Or if she had smiled
Or if she had done
Anything
Human
At
All….