Long Prestidigitation Poems

I wait with bated breath for... C. Cure T. Clarence

The following crafted 
approximately midway 
into the administration 
of forty fifth president,
whose crass, gutsy, lewd,
repulsive yawping finds
him squarely poised to
nab the nomination as
Republican front runner
come the...

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Ace colonoscopy doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales 
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days...

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Spring equinox arrives March 20th, 2023 at 5:24 PM

Despite what outside temperature registers
(even absolute zero), the official arrival
of spring occurs, when thee eel hip tic
of coe phish hunt holy Mackerel
becomes tangential to barenaked ladies 
barren...

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Ace colonoscopy doctors Kellen Karl Kovalovich
and Larry Borowsky

Though necessary to down: 
four Dulcolax laxative tablets, 
quaff half 238 gram bottle of Miralax 
over span of eight hours, 
and if necessary even one Fleets Enema, 
I...

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When vitamin and medication bottles became plaything of the missus

Mental health of yours truly
heavily reliant upon one selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitor named fluoxetine (Prozac)
aside from countless
(approximately seven) other
prescription medications kept
stashed in a plastic tray
until one or...

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Non labor (relations) day September 1st, 2023 poem

Aye dream of Genie (as a lad din)
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
deployed courtesy scholar
really...a boot nuttin
butta an overrated allay
zee good for...

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Ohiopyle, Pennsylvania circa early 1970'S

(just in time for end of summer reading...
recounting emotionally disastrous campy turbulence)
intended food for thought indulgence. 

A boys' life aborted
miscarried golden opportunity
for adolescent romance to be courted.

Amidst a raft of fellow...

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I haint donning royal carpet treatment

No stuntman/woman showed up, 
albeit intervened in timely fashion
to thwart mishaps experienced 
courtesy me I bemoan,
and poet lore re: yet of Perkiomen Valley
Pennsylvania, United States of America
never suffered major illness...

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Tumbleweed Billy And One Eyed Sam

Banked off jagged hills, pushed on by memory
Cause and effect took turns churning the sidewinders
Tumbleweed Billy and One Eyed Sam (The patron Saint of snake eyes)
Dragged down from on high...

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Almost three years ago from today December 20th, 2022

self quarantined misanthrope...
pitched into purgatory wham!

Ably cane resign eternal damnation (mine)
courtesy devil specially engraved telegram
prestidigitation found me vanishing shazam,
without a trace I 
disappeared in thin air voila
Earthly...

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Sinister glacial dissolution 
verging on huge jagged icebergs reverberate
nature mocking bird song sans bot mot, 
braggadocio, rodomontade, et cetera
distinct, ear splitting, 
and fractal heaving snap, crackle and pop, 
cacophonously fabulous, incredulously humongous, 
and thunderously voluminous...

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Triumphant milestones rocked and rolled thru this (viz – modern) age  
     began in the dawn of Homo Sapiens early evolutionary light
     when those prime ape...

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(just in time for summer reading...
recounting emotionally disastrous campy turbulence)

Amidst a raft of fellow (Brandywine Valley
     Y.M.C.A) resident campers
     who, didst excitedly quiver
donning a "NON FAKE" lifejacket

...

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Spring (vernal) equinox arrives March 20th, 2022 

at 11:33 AM in Northern Hemisphere
though meteorological conditions, I swear
in summer re: temperatures already mild
enough to go outside in your underwear
unless an ordinance would find you
slammed in the...

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if zee al chemist trump doth win go hide in the bunker 
to save your ass
brace yourself as this don holed 
confabulates that gold iz brass
and conjures prestidigitation 
like spinning false hoods in2 truth -...

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Remember...Remain Calm, Collected, And Cool...
Matthew Scott Harris...ARG

This, a near imp
     possible mantra to apply
when this 2009
     Macbook Pro went awry
triggering this enduser
     to...

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Self quarantined misanthrope pitched into purgatory wham!

Ably cane resign eternal damnation (mine)
courtesy devil specially engraved telegram
prestidigitation found me vanishing shazam,
without a trace I disappeared in thin air voila
Earthly travails atop horns of dilemma ram
into me...

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Tis quite a beast of burden to bear atlas (shrug off not allowed)
Atlas shrugged an impossibility
tantamount to skinny dipping in the lock nest lagoon

Tantamount to shrugging Atlas off mine bony, 
   ill suited,...

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I Asked Myself A Rhetorical Question...

Asper daily expounding fostering
     inchoate manifesting mod
     er writ writing quality,
     solitary scrimmage tackling
    ...

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Penelope Alecknavage nee perskin whose death aye assay
to comprehend, this son of the late Harriet Harris - 
   November thirteenth 2016 marked her eighty first birthday
if she still lived these last eleven years...

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Spring equinox arrived March 20th, 2021 at 5:37 AM

No burlesque across the globe
upstages mother nature's emergent style
soundlessly donning and trumpeting
resplendent metaphorical pregnant Gaia,
whose all encompassing bulging robe
magnificently, albeit modestly evinces
matronly dame parading and sauntering,
she intimates...

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Though thine two grown
     former babes in crib age,
now lead checkered lives,
     no longer monopolize my time

     as though their persons went backstage
either...

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Lucubrations fuels ebullience

Unsolicited, revered, and praised
potential literary fete,
(yes a bit hyperbolic),
sans mine posted poems that perambulate
such feedback, whither donning trumped
("FAKE") facade, Oriel sincere

twittering, nonetheless tis great
for an ego striving to maintain
hum bull modesty, yet I...

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I Wait With Bated Breath...
(slack jaw froze mine countenance
when eyes blinded with figurative
daggers asper mistakes in original draft,
hence...this flood proof, fire resistant,
and fever reducing error free version.)

(yes...yes...yes, this rhyme
resembles a recent one of mine
 ...

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I Cannot Weight To Hmm...
Be Pressed By A Dumbbell

Two fifteen pound
     steely danse sing
     wrought iron dumbbells
     ill-tempered, impatiently,
    ...

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