Long Petard Poems

Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis, high bred poiet?s of mine

     ("Thus always I cause the death of tyrants.”)
the purported line Brutus uttered 
after assassinating Julius Caesar.

     Alternatively...

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Umpteenth heat wave since onset of summer
sizzles Delaware Valley today July 16th, 2024

Said geographical area composed of counties
located in Southeastern Pennsylvania,
South Jersey, Delaware, and
Eastern Shore of Maryland.

Sweltering temperatures
figuratively grip human zoo
bipedal hominids (yours truly,
an olive...

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Unitarian Church returnee

After a hiatus of countless years
plus an additional 
almost three months 
since a major makeover,
(I experienced the magic
wrought courtesy
a bonafide big hearted 
beautician at Salon Nova
located in beautiful 
downtown Limerick, Pennsylvania

to render my...

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major storm on the horizon reported from the "Fo'c'sle"

Though forever being a landlubber
a vision analogous to the nether world
deep within the bowels of the Earth
immensely distant from the sheltering sky
amidst a thick fog enveloped landscape
with...

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Similar if not identical to last year...   
umpteenth heat wave since onset of summer...
sizzles Delaware Valley today August 26th, 2022

Said geographical area composed of counties
located in Southeastern Pennsylvania,
South Jersey, Delaware, and
Eastern Shore of...

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Umpteenth heat wave since onset of summer...
sizzles Delaware Valley today August 25th, 2021

Said geographical area composed of counties
located in Southeastern Pennsylvania,
South Jersey, Delaware, and
Eastern Shore of Maryland.

Sweltering temperatures
figuratively grip human zoo
bipedal hominids (yours truly,
an olive...

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Hypothetically, what if I (a born again atheist)...
tentatively took page from playbook of devout believers...

Allowing, enabling, and providing
cautious optimism to abound
thus easing grief instead
reason to rejoice found
once corpse cremated
or buried underground.

Whereby reincarnation will eventually...
mitigate grief...

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Non labor (relations) day September 1st, 2023 poem

Aye dream of Genie (as a lad din)
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
deployed courtesy scholar
really...a boot nuttin
butta an overrated allay
zee good for...

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The revered Reverend Martin Luther King Junior

Born January fifteenth nineteen twenty nine
if still alive seven years shy 
attaining age of centenarian
father of civil rights movement,
the revered Martin Luther King Junior 
honored as benevolent demigod figure
to...

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Recherché poetic themes stock in trade of yours truly

No surprise, rhyme nor reason,
I tease out extraordinary threads,
sometimes deliberately writing
about current calendar day or season

for instance today July 28th, 2020
another hazy, hot, and humid summer day
and...

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Cash strapped despondent citizen banker
in unrelenting deep purple Depeche Mode crisis...

the yeast you could do
for a crusty and crabby old man,
(who I know 
like the back of my clawed hand),
albeit well bred wordsmith doth wonder,
whose...

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Cash strapped despondent citizen banker
in unrelenting deep purple Depeche Mode crisis...

the yeast you could do
for a crusty and crabby old man,
(who I know 
like the back of my clawed hand),
albeit well bred wordsmith doth wonder,
whose...

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Almost three years ago from today December 20th, 2022

self quarantined misanthrope...
pitched into purgatory wham!

Ably cane resign eternal damnation (mine)
courtesy devil specially engraved telegram
prestidigitation found me vanishing shazam,
without a trace I 
disappeared in thin air voila
Earthly...

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Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?

The following extrapolated 
thought thread exercised,
NOT utilized to intimate 
how Fats Domino belied,
and wowed a crowded house ass-sized.

As a former ace procrastinator, I abhor
putting off doing...

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Bring on the rejection slips and/or lost wager

Though flush with good humor
pun one mock two yields negligible
true cash equivalent value won
dirt poor offspring privileged as prodigal son
pockets bursting with legal tender,
where just yesterday I had...

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Thru deliberate seductive
liaisons, ploys, and underhanded gambits,
I tendered illicit, explicit and complicit shenanigans
blatant actions to foment coital adulteration.

Ofttime these discrete liaisons found me removing 
linkedin metallic keepsake symbolizing union.

Years elapsed since this spouse pledged his...

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Self quarantined misanthrope pitched into purgatory wham!

Ably cane resign eternal damnation (mine)
courtesy devil specially engraved telegram
prestidigitation found me vanishing shazam,
without a trace I disappeared in thin air voila
Earthly travails atop horns of dilemma ram
into me...

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A cosmic clash of epic force
Split Tiamet like brittle thread
Nibiru hugged its distant course
Propelling moons to gnaw and shred

Kingu marveled at what was formed
Asteroids shed from that vast orb
The watery giant was transformed
Leveling as third...

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(the following extrapolated 
     thought thread exercised,
NOT utilized to intimate 
     how Fats Domino belied,
and wowed a crowded house as-sized).

as a former ace procrastinator, i abhor
 ...

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I am happily teaching my second grade students two bully-proofing strategies earlier today.
These powerful  anti-bullying techniques are "the thank you" and the "skip away" both invented by me.
First I explain that the mean bullying...

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Bully me, yours truly 
never ordained, gifted, or blessed
with mien mean characteristic
evoking, jump/kickstarting,
representing, nor zapping
friend or foe courtesy fiery intimidation
if anything aura, charisma, dogma, and karma
emanating, issuing, and oozing out
body electric of one heretofore bookish...

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Yours truly borrows a phrase
courtesy the great bard
also known as
William Shakespeare's Hamlet:
"For 'tis the sport ...
Hoist by one's own petard
meaning "victimized or hurt 
by one's own scheme”.

The aforementioned excerpt
hopefully describes the fate
to befall president of...

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Then Keith snapped his fingers and spoke a mystical chant, 
“Grant us the powers to finish off the one that all others can’t” 
There came a sound of a moaning wind and a low and...

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(Dedicated To Submariners All Over The World)
 
Dived deep in the bowels of the seas
My steely shell’s a womb.
Deep down amidst the oil and grease
I am at peace in the Lovecraftian tomb!
 
What’s with the...

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Reincarnated Rozetta was very angry with her super angel team for saddling her with ChimChang Man again.
They had spent the last two lifetimes together, once as squirrels, and now as a cat couple, him fat,...

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