Mine Conscience Exhorts Restitution Regarding Lost Wedding Band

Thru deliberate seductive liaisons, ploys, and underhanded gambits, I tendered illicit, explicit and complicit shenanigans blatant actions to foment coital adulteration. Ofttime these discrete liaisons found me removing linkedin metallic keepsake symbolizing union. Years elapsed since this spouse pledged his troth, he sported husbandly marital vows courtesy monogrammed nondescript ring. Impossible mission prevails to locate complimentary jeweled tokens bespeaking our joint monogamous fidelity. Yours truly beset with genuine disheartened woe no matter public affections, he never doth show thee above stated guilty admission signifying mine absent overtures (indicating even marginal wedded bliss), the missus posits as wanting from me, a common garden variety generic Joe Schmoe. Self awareness heightened within mental cogs and wheels as if of a sudden hindsight brought into sharp focus think barely audible high pitched squeals nsync with and accompanied by newsreel silently displaying story (solely my viewing pleasure) of mein kampf metaphorically yours truly blown to bits while hoisting myself by own petard vigorously spiriting and pitching me head over heels. Regale thee dear reader, I strive with utmost zeal plus cathartic to expunge, (albeit poetically) my pathetic, quixotic, and reasonable rhyming spiel hoopfully mine lame literary endeavor won't upset any spur of the moment meal thus tis wise I beat a hasty retreat before ye sic on me Achilles heel versatile scouts i.e. English language verb boss and noun sensical police, yours truly here expert escape artist dog gone hard to grab hold, cuz I trumpet art of making the deal. Proclaiming high fidelity to wife high wed she already with child (our first) into holy matrimony we did nervously tread "quod erat demonstrandum"- Q.E.D. "what was to be shown" courtesy yours truly this once upon a time (about two and a half dozen Earth orbitz ago) time newlywed. Now he frets and experiences woebegone as testimony scratching out yet another one of his plaintive, quirky, somber, ridiculously shown, herewith I attempted to communicate none previous endeavor ever considered exemplary yet I diligently, honorably, and literally try to hone elusive talent hours daily hermetically sealed, and sequestered alone.