Long Pee Poems
Long Pee Poems. Below are the most popular long Pee by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Pee poems by poem length and keyword.
There was nothing out there like it
When Paul Reuben’s show first aired.
To the Pee Wee’s Playhouse family,
No one else could be compared.
There was Globey (yes, a talking globe)
And Chairry (yes, a chair),
Plus a host of wacky others,
All with silliness to spare.
Cowboy Curtis, Mr. Window,
Blue-faced Jambi, Miss Yvonne,
Pterri, Reba, Randy, Conky,
Oh, the list goes on and on.
Leading all of them was Pee Wee,
Less a grown-up, more a kid,
Who delighted in his buddies
And in everything they did.
And the joy was so infectious,
Even parents had to smile.
(Also, sneaky wordplay for adults
Showed up once in a while.)
I’ll remember Pee Wee Herman
(Reuben’s alter ego star)
For providing entertainment
Filled with joy, though quite bizarre.
I was grateful, as a parent,
That with Pee Wee on TV,
There was laughter, now recalled
By both my grown-up son and me.
When I was younger and I thought of old age
Thought we all became senile at this elderly stage
It appears I was wrong, I can still go potty
And able to dress this tired old body
Try as I might, I don't see very well
And my wobbly old legs are as shaky as hell
Sometimes my words come out like a squeak
Other times I whistle whenever I speak
Have a secret to tell you my young whipper snappers
It's as good as it gets except for my bladder
It seems to be constantly wanting attention
I don't have a problem with pee-pee retention
So now that I've told you guys what to expect
I must tell you all it's as good as it gets
Enjoy your youth cause it's downhill from here
You'll soon be old and decrepit I fear
© Jack Ellison 2015
An Aussie Bush Pee
Now! Have you ever tried to have a pee?
while squatting down and hiding in the bush.
But first, must pull your jeans and undies down
while all the time you’re showing off your toosh.
You grab your jeans and undies in one hand
to keep them out the way before you go.
While balanced in a squat your legs apart
you think you’re ready to then let it flow.
But! as it starts you then begin to squirt
it everywhere except upon the ground.
And then you realize you cannot stop
pee on your legs, your jeans, and all around.
You try to hold it back while you then change
position of your squat will be the plan.
You curse and swear, but then it squirts again
it’s time like this you wish you were a man.
Undo their zip and let it all hang out
before they start just hold it in their hand.
And then direct the flow just where they want
‘Cause they can take a pee while they still stand.
But no! For me I have to try and squat
on wobbly legs while trying not to fall.
Then as I go, I know I’ll wet my pants,
but how to stop it I have bugger all.
So! Next time when I am out in the bush
and need to pee; I’ll strip off all my clothes.
I’ll stand up straight, pretend I am a man
And maybe only pee upon my toes.
But wait! I have now found the perfect seat
that I can use when I need a bush pee.
No longer need to squat and squirt it out
I’ll take my new ‘bush dunny seat’ with me.
Christine ©
By Poet "Our memories fill yesterday. Today our dreams will fill tomorrow."
Will my dream be here tomorrow?
A cool breeze does softy blow,
over me as if I will know.
Into deeper sleep I must go,
what will my dream now show?
I am still from head to toe,
feeling like I am aglow.
Another world I will go.
Within a dream what will I see?
A huge yellow bumble bee,
she was eating crackers and brie.
From this dream I want to flee,
please oh - please set me free.
My bed is now wet - I did pee,
let me out I will plea.
Now awake one, two, three.
My dream within a dream,
was it just too extreme?
It made me pee then scream,
what a very wild dream theme.
The bee rode a leaf downstream,
what a weird bee daydream.
Through the trees I saw a sunbeam,
the bright light looks like ice cream.
Now waking up with self esteem.
If melodies from heaven rain down on me
This would not be angel pee
If heaven is the place for our souls
No one there would be or need a bum hole
There is no need for bathrooms
Heaven is not hot is not cool
It’s the perfect climate for us all
For who would clean the toilet stall
Spirits come but they don’t go
But if they did let it flow
It would not be stinky stuff
But fragrant like flowers lilies love
And if the thrown was set just so
You know where the poo would go
A magic chute to send it down
Where sinners seeds would surely frown.
The thrown in heaven is not the john
But holy a seat the lord sits on.
THE THROWN IN HEAVEN CONTEST
10/12/2021
SPONSOR JACK WEBSTER
Is summer over or just cooling down,
days are getting shorter do not make a frown.
Sun time use varies widely,
in many different places.
Do not tell me barbeque time is over,
that will make me want to pee my bedcover.
As BBQ corn does eat,
great with hotdogs and watermelon too.
Tell me it is not so,
no more ice cold sweet tea to drink slow.
Now to make only hot tea,
keeping lips moist not open.
Summer will be back next year,
must I really wait twelve months with no cheer?
Friends gather happily in just,
time for the holidays and not missing the summer.
If I were a boy - I would be a son
If I were a boy - I would not use a pink dummy
If I were a boy - I would be a brother
If I were a boy - I would not wear ribbon in my hair
If I were a boy - I would have been a young man
If I were a boy - I would not walk with high heels
If I were a boy - I would be a lovely man
If I were a boy - I would find me a wife
If I were a boy - I would drop housework
If I were a boy - I would have been a husband
If I were a boy - I would have had ten children
If I were a boy - I would be a father to my children
If I were a boy - I would read fairy tales in bed for all my ten children
If I were a boy - I would be the grandfather of my grandchildren
If I were a boy - I would sit in a rocking chair smoking my pipe
The best thing about being a boy would probably be
that I do not have to pull down my pants when I am going to pee
05.03.2012
A-L Andresen :9
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Pee is certainly for prostrate
As my bladder keeps busting a move
Where the places I go, first thing I want to know
Kindly where is the loo
As the older I get, the more that I fret
I'll never make it in time
With my back to the wall as nature calls
Informing me I best get in line
Every place that I go hoping the river flows
But most of the time it's only a stream
Where I find that I stand in front of a dam
Keeping me from my goal to pee
With the constant urge for all that I'm worth
A prime candidate for adult diapers
The older I get the more of a mess
I just hope I die before they hire a wiper
With the daily chore going from door to door
Finding relief whatever it takes
I'm reminded again every time I'm in the can
Pee is certainly for prostrate
In days of yore, my dreams were sweet,
I played with friends, a pleasant treat.
In slumber's realm, 'twas day instead,
And all my dreams, inside my head.
In those dreams, my words would come true,
Like "allow me to pee, it's what I'll do!"
Though in reality, 'twas not so fine,
For wet the bed, did I resign.
The first of dreams, that came to pass,
A pee dream, quite a laughing gas.
Though childish it may seem, 'tis true,
My childhood dreams, were full of glee,
Innocent thoughts, a memory.
But as I grew, my dreams changed,
No longer childish, more deranged.
My dreams turned dark, full of fear,
I'd wake in sweat, with silent tears.
I'd dream of monsters, death and pain,
My sleep was lost, 'twas never the same.
Now as an adult, I've come to see,
My dreams reflect, what's inside of me.
Though sometimes dark, they've taught me well,
To face my fears, and break the spell.
I only pee on Tuesdays
I only pee on Tuesdays
Thursdays is for the other way
I only eat on Sundays now
Global warming has come to play
………………………Or so they say
We must do our part
Or better yet do no farts
For global peace and harmony
I used to shower Mondays
Now I feel so so guilty
For now and then I would cheat you see
And when that shower was running hot as can be
I’d have me one extra wee… wee
Shocked was I, when I got me fine
That inspector was in the loo
They sure don’t give you any room
To sneak even an extra poo
No more hot water allowed for now
It’s not politically correct
With all these cold showers
The population will diminish yet
Life used to contain a little fun
We used to have a gas
Now you can’t even let out a little
As you pray at local mass
Note: Inspired by none other than Jan Allison!!!! hope she is smiling!