Long Outsize Poems

Poem revised Memorial Day May 30th, 2022 at 1500 hours

Flagrante delict adulterous sordid behavior 
automatically linkedin with Lothario;
an unscrupulous seducer of women, 
based upon a character 
in The Impertinent Curious Man, 
a story within a...

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The Great Lakes acronym spells homes

I chose titled topic by a fanciful whim,
nevertheless still consider my knowledge 
of aforementioned material slim.

Housing multivarious biomes
register ecological syndromes
whereby constituents of NOAA 
Great Lakes Environmental 
Research Laboratory writ tomes.

Pellucid...

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FICTIONAL BIO:

The missus asked me
(hitherto known as her bozo)
just mere moments ago
to craft humorous poem to glow
nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph
keeping syncopated metrical flow
thus methought to crow
about being equally as foolish
streaking naked outside...

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Defecation accidentally clogged...

for the umpteenth time 
during spate to sit scrawny buttucks 
on porcelain throne id est 
videre licet toilet bowl...
with toxic water brew threatening
to overflow onto the floor,
and hence found yours truly (me)
immersing himself...

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And still his death haunts webbed wide world post American Civil War

Preface: On the evening of April 14, 1865, while attending a special performance of the comedy, "Our American Cousin," President Abraham Lincoln was shot.

President...

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Trumpeting future mercurial villain of history

Predicated on his paying obese sense
to Ronald McDonald patron saint
buzzfeeding his pie hole
courtesy "two Big Macs, Fillet-O-Fish
and a chocolate malted,"
he hungrily nabbed the ?Tuesday,
November 5, 2024? election
ofttimes series of unfortunate...

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Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again - updated

Steely Dan sing queen (me)
outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary 
after Grahame Wood 
determined to meet 
the evolving needs of the community 
opened the first Wawa Food Market 
in Folsom,...

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(alternately titled: idolizing childhood's end
today April 25th, 2021
generates elusive warm treasured memories).

Akin to significance my eldest sister
felt toward her “Willies” –
(totally tubular fuzzy bendable contrivances
analogous to an outsize pipe cleaner)
until she became a tweener
my Matty...

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Turning the maxim familiarity breeds contempt on it's head...
not just in time for Valentine's Day
but the remaining days of our lives
as the world turns
on all our children
the young and restless
now grown to womanhood

After being married
for...

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The views and opinions herewith extemporized to spur discourse with me, or to be mindful when exercising the right to vote in the country of your existence, which expressed intimation predicated upon read reliable publications...

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Sexually explicit meme more real day

originally written May 31st, 202_
humorously, posthumously, 
and tempestuously expressing woes
from the top of my talking head 
to gnarly nails of 
(this little piggy fame) toes
in sore need and want 
of...

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Ford's Theater, April 15th, 1865...
Petersen House, Washington, D.C.

I admit to own a passion
for the Civil War in general,
and the life and death of
the sixteenth president in particular
between a hard spot of whiskey
and draughts of arrack;
nonetheless...

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Scrounging for boogers wrought my damn nostrils nearly to bust 

Warning: The following material no worse than getting cooties. I remember them way back in grade school, whereat everyone ran away from me with worse...

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Trumpeting and mythologizing deranged deplorable basket case as demigod

Any idea regarding who unnamed individual earned such lofty title? I offer a clue, that averred person unknown to many others within the webbed, wide world, and...

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silently wailing analogy to Moby Dick 
regarding how yesterdays 
prurient laced introductions 
to rhyme in retrospect embarrassingly blows.

Herewith to enliven anecdote ever further,
I inject humorous tidbit
just gimme moment to unload and reach
into psychological metaphorical knapsack
particularly...

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A civil war ferociously raged...

within complex edifice...
derelict hulking corpse delineated courtesy
seared, singed, smoldered smithereens
formerly robust warrior
slain during prime of his life
heavenly corporeal outstanding entity
subjected to fateful foragers
courtesy camping buzzfeeding carrion -
fancy feast for famished
uber twittering,...

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Upon a dark and stormy night...

as jagged bolts of lightning
tore thru the the midnight clear
and figuratively ripped the sky to shreds
(analogous to jumping Jack flash),
and ear splitting thunder crackled
testing the threshold of tolerance
zombies of Sugar...

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Variations On A Theme...
of hodgepodge strewn helter skelter
wonky inviting reader to mentally swelter.

Ach'n (ache Ken and burn'n) 
kickstarting existential and proverbial struggle
me species classified as generic muggle
analogous to entertainer 
with namesake of yours truly
starring an...

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I am ill eke quipped to dusk hoover dawn ting task of badinage

Indentured gumption forsaken 
courtesy each pulled wisdom-tooth
this hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters...

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When vitamin and medication bottles became plaything of the missus

Mental health of yours truly
heavily reliant upon one selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitor named fluoxetine (Prozac)
aside from countless
(approximately seven) other
prescription medications kept
stashed in a plastic tray
until one or...

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Bully me you, I exemplified archetypal scapegoat

Even as an old curmudgeon, aye pucker
and raspily suction, albeit toothless mouth
drawing reminiscent guffaws affecting 
(think feeble attempt 
impersonating plumber plunging - 
unclogging backed up toilet), 
flushed with satisfaction,
now...

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As an easy pushover and soft touch lamenting my demise
Vultures swooped overhead
and preyed on my vulnerabilities
forcing me to carrion camping
as fine young cannibals
sharpened their knives
and licked their lips
while eyeing me as their naked lunch
bound and...

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Free association comprises ratiocination...

Bonafide catatonic doggedness,
nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort
he brewed den - brought about divine visit
analogously to solve mystery pinpointing
within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla...

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Free association comprises ratiocination...

Bonafide catatonic doggedness,
nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort
he brewed den - brought about divine visit
analogously to solve mystery pinpointing
within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla...

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Humus me? My vegetated chokes ingest!
(jokes all in jest)

Hard to believe, I orange in a lee
started life as barely visible speck!

Just in the course of healthy growing
season, this former minute nearly
microscopic entity developed into
quite pleasing...

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