Long Outsize Poems

Poem revised Memorial Day May 30th, 2022 at 1500 hours

Flagrante delict adulterous sordid behavior 
automatically linkedin with Lothario;
an unscrupulous seducer of women, 
based upon a character 
in The Impertinent Curious Man, 
a story within a...

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The Great Lakes acronym spells homes

I chose titled topic by a fanciful whim,
nevertheless still consider my knowledge 
of aforementioned material slim.

Housing multivarious biomes
register ecological syndromes
whereby constituents of NOAA 
Great Lakes Environmental 
Research Laboratory writ tomes.

Pellucid...

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FICTIONAL BIO:

The missus asked me
(hitherto known as her bozo)
just mere moments ago
to craft humorous poem to glow
nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph
keeping syncopated metrical flow
thus methought to crow
about being equally as foolish
streaking naked outside...

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Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again - updated

Steely Dan sing queen (me)
outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary 
after Grahame Wood 
determined to meet 
the evolving needs of the community 
opened the first Wawa Food Market 
in Folsom,...

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(alternately titled: idolizing childhood's end
today April 25th, 2021
generates elusive warm treasured memories).

Akin to significance my eldest sister
felt toward her “Willies” –
(totally tubular fuzzy bendable contrivances
analogous to an outsize pipe cleaner)
until she became a tweener
my Matty...

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Ford's Theater, April 15th, 1865...
Petersen House, Washington, D.C.

I admit to own a passion
for the Civil War in general,
and the life and death of
the sixteenth president in particular
between a hard spot of whiskey
and draughts of arrack;
nonetheless...

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silently wailing analogy to Moby Dick 
regarding how yesterdays 
prurient laced introductions 
to rhyme in retrospect embarrassingly blows.

Herewith to enliven anecdote ever further,
I inject humorous tidbit
just gimme moment to unload and reach
into psychological metaphorical knapsack
particularly...

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Variations On A Theme...
of hodgepodge strewn helter skelter
wonky inviting reader to mentally swelter.

Ach'n (ache Ken and burn'n) 
kickstarting existential and proverbial struggle
me species classified as generic muggle
analogous to entertainer 
with namesake of yours truly
starring an...

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I am ill eke quipped to dusk hoover dawn ting task of badinage

Indentured gumption forsaken 
courtesy each pulled wisdom-tooth
this hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters...

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When vitamin and medication bottles became plaything of the missus

Mental health of yours truly
heavily reliant upon one selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitor named fluoxetine (Prozac)
aside from countless
(approximately seven) other
prescription medications kept
stashed in a plastic tray
until one or...

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Bully me you, I exemplified archetypal scapegoat

Even as an old curmudgeon, aye pucker
and raspily suction, albeit toothless mouth
drawing reminiscent guffaws affecting 
(think feeble attempt 
impersonating plumber plunging - 
unclogging backed up toilet), 
flushed with satisfaction,
now...

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Free association comprises ratiocination...

Bonafide catatonic doggedness,
nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort
he brewed den - brought about divine visit
analogously to solve mystery pinpointing
within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla...

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Free association comprises ratiocination...

Bonafide catatonic doggedness,
nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort
he brewed den - brought about divine visit
analogously to solve mystery pinpointing
within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla...

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Humus me? My vegetated chokes ingest!
(jokes all in jest)

Hard to believe, I orange in a lee
started life as barely visible speck!

Just in the course of healthy growing
season, this former minute nearly
microscopic entity developed into
quite pleasing...

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Pellucid pearls in northeastern North America since planetary birth
Comprise Lakes Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, and Ontario dearth
Largest group of freshwater lakes on Earth 
Straddle Canadian–United States border tethering partial global girth
Constituting 21% of world's surface...

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Scrounging for boogers wrought my damn nostrils nearly to bust 

My humblest apology if the following account
doth gross thee out forlorn childhood of mine 
found further ostracization of me tantamount
being shipped off to  a...

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Up up the fly away wig doth go revisited and revised April 19th, 2023

IM pen named Pilot Jane A. Rug
who ascribes to writing poetry
as opportunistic, holistic, and cathartic
warming me body electric
courtesy an outsize 
warm brimful...

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Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again

Even when iron not red hot, 
I implement non customary quarks 
regarding foreigner rather cold as ice
namely delinquent outsize credit card debt 
mandates yours truly, 
a cheesy survivor who rem: members...

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Extra...extra...Trumpasaurus Extinction...
iz only wishful thinking

Political polls whether advisory still consider 
forty fifth president 
dangerous, hazardous, lymphomatous...
known to wield violent blows,
his delusional perception analogous 
to fable regarding emperor without any clothes
best to handle beast with more'n...

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Malevolent maverick mailer-daemon...
wrought maximum monetary mayhem
within mein kampf

Incomprehensible inhumane
inquisitorial imp incarnate injudiciously,
ineffably, indescribably inflicted
inxs inexorable insidious injury.

Snake charmer also known
in the underworld as Harvey Specter
subliminally slithered,
and deftly insinuated himself
into body electric of yours truly
forever remotely...

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Sebaceous glands connected to follicles secrete an oily substance called sebum

With a title deeply rooted
in subject matter iterated above
invariably makes for hair raising poem,
though I immediately attest said material
constitutes atypical topic
the writing process (with intent
to...

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Recherché poetic themes stock in trade of yours truly

No surprise, rhyme nor reason,
I tease out extraordinary threads,
sometimes deliberately writing
about current calendar day or season

for instance today July 28th, 2020
another hazy, hot, and humid summer day
and...

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Unsolved criminal mystery...modest prevarication

Found yours truly
a grateful dead head
convenient scapegoat dejure
Norristown police officers
fingerprinted me for 
casual postal employment
linked to vicious brutal crime
someone else who shared 
identical name and fingerprints as mine
the latter of corpse far...

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Eccentric kook's reasonable rhyme zigzags

Doggone poet laureate
wannabe his index finger wags
nonverbally naysaying those,
who doubt mine posthumous
fame and fortune, which snags
eternal renown within pantheon
of storied writers such foolhardiness nags
yours truly keeps bad company with hags
unemployed day...

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Huge life like mockup 
rigged up to bark
dare buzzfeed outsize monstrosity
diet coke, McDonald's and meatloaf
pet banality, execrable, and misogynistic words
greets visitors at formerly named
Mosquito State Park forever known as
Donald Trump State Park.

Whom so e'er decreed...

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