As an easy pushover and soft touch lamenting my demise

As an easy pushover and soft touch lamenting my demise Vultures swooped overhead and preyed on my vulnerabilities forcing me to carrion camping as fine young cannibals sharpened their knives and licked their lips while eyeing me as their naked lunch bound and gagged as a huge cauldron bubbled awaiting yours truly as human sacrifice preparatory to be boiled alive shorn of clothes embarrassingly in the buff with me pot bellied gut and spindleshanks for legs presenting a poor excuse and laughing stock of *****sapiens lowering my head in resignation as a die hard atheist putting sudden conviction in an all knowing divine creator who reassuringly winked nonverbally a handy dandy blue's clue meaning just wing it relying on atavistic survival instinct playing possum to thwart rat fink. After threescore and six bountiful years, I learned the wicked wiles of *****sapiens as a much quicker picker upper, now than earlier in my life as the fickle finger of fate veered yours truly hither and yon, to and fro necessitating me to apply razor sharp wit as potent, (albeit sometimes brittle) spears particularly after a delayed reaction welled up analogous to waves that rock plowing whitecaps into piers. As a diminutive boy passive role of scapegoat granted bullies carte blanche permission to threaten me with verbal taunts and stop just a hair's breadth short beating the sh*t out of one scared lad, who subdued submissively, subserviently suddenly and deftly adopted fetal position as mortal blow poised to strike, I hurriedly and subsequently dropped down on all fours, where miming panting bonafide doggone friggin human praying for immediate salvation.   Intimidation of badass nasty brute heaped insult upon injury whereby string of expletives hurled like blackened barbs to additional disproportionate trademark attributes of mine aside from being rather diminutive in size (easily squashed courtesy incredible hulk sporting outsize glute) mine existence could be extinguished and snuffed out videre licet runt of the mill without anyone giving a hoot mama and papa would say "forget the ransom cuz he ain't worth the loot" momentarily imagining myself as a radical righteous leftist being raised by a deaf mute resembling a Doctor Zeus character while attending regal affair in my honor as musicians and leader of the band trumpeted the clarion call initiating pomp and circumstances as zeppelin size conductor led electric light orchestra donning a zoot suit. Invisible battle scars worn like well earned emotional tattoos pierced armor of soul asylum, nevertheless gifted me how to feign being a lunatic, when intimidated not to crater like totally tubular offloading, jettisoning superfluous ballast dumping cumbersome Jerry Springer like baggage analogous to primordial third rock from the sun birthing when the Moon formed from a giant impact event involving the Earth and a Mars-sized celestial body named Theia around 4.5 billion years ago. This collision ejected a massive amount of debris into space, which then coalesced to form the Moon regarded as the most widely accepted theory, known as the giant impact hypothesis.