Long Oaf Poems

Come post presidential election 2024... 

heil to the Wharton chief firebrand -
more worrisome than an ovarian cyst
every race, religion, nationality, 
gender, creed, et cetera with impunity dissed
brigand able, eager, ready and willing
to punch contenders throwing...

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Number forty seven - White House occupant against all odds...

regarding President elect 
Donald John Trump.

As a cruel joke to self,
I imagined myself as a Republican
for that one glorious day
voting for the candidate
who clinched the nomination
as...

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Please Michelle Obama...
can you save American democracy?

I highly hugely grant 
Barack Hussein belated kudos
what with his wizardesses 
in tow wrought wonders 
to one nation analogous 
while an under dog
sweeping in like... 
It's a Bird... It's...

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[For the uninitiated and for the avoidance of
confusion, this poem features a Penguin
called Pilchard and a Pilchard called Penguin]
_____________________________________

Pilchard the Penguin had heard a loud cry
A reindeer was plummeting out of the sky
He quickly re-counted...

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When vitamin and medication bottles became plaything of the missus

Mental health of yours truly
heavily reliant upon one selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitor named fluoxetine (Prozac)
aside from countless
(approximately seven) other
prescription medications kept
stashed in a plastic tray
until one or...

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For some enchanted evenings...

The following scenario imagined
after the hoopla of
Democratic National Convention miracle workers
Kamala Harris and Tim Walz
trumpeted politically wholesome zeal,
and achieved advancement
propelling them ahead
in the race to the White House.

Unlike the hangdog expression of...

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Malevolent maverick mailer-daemon...
wrought maximum monetary mayhem
within mein kampf

Incomprehensible inhumane
inquisitorial imp incarnate injudiciously,
ineffably, indescribably inflicted
inxs inexorable insidious injury.

Snake charmer also known
in the underworld as Harvey Specter
subliminally slithered,
and deftly insinuated himself
into body electric of yours truly
forever remotely...

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A fanta see overrides reality!

Hello?
I like to get positioned for sixty nine. 

Are you looking for a scheming, 
schlepping, and schvitzing writer? 
natural body and laid-back vibe??
I'm all about therapeutic touch via
bolts, nuts, screws 
and...

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I looked outside the bedroom window
here at B44 Highland Manor Apartments
today March 13th, 2022 low and behold
took stock of soundless grounded sideshow.

Barenaked lady, i.e. mother earth
partially sloughed off 
excess weight around her girth
her downy soft...

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Equal copyrights we can both claim
renown impossible mission to envision
just the experience to become linkedin
with literary talents of another motive
couched within these lines I exclaim
no idea regarding the specifics
how to kickstart joint effort game
undoubtedly enterprising...

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Devonshire tea with Peter an' Beryl, beware,
it's no the fact that Peter disnae care.
But 88 years doon the track o' life,
an' 84 years fur Beryl, Peter's carefree wife.

Ma Bonny wife Gillian an' this Auld Yin,
oot...

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Hello?
I like to get six + 9 ??Are you??????
schlepping writer,?? natural body and laid-back vibe?? 
I'm all about therapeutic touch via nuts and life of bee dogged trees!

teasing with idealism beef hoar 
   illusory vision fades away
whatever ur...

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Mild temperatures gradually melt snow

I looked outside the bedroom window
here at B44 Highland Manor Apartments
today February 28th, 2021 low and behold
took stock of soundless grounded sideshow.

Barenaked lady, i.e. mother earth
partially sloughed off her downy soft...

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(Continued from part one.)

Afire not his thoughts, the Devil sees,
He soars and roars, in his physical might.
His bears’ hug, his warmth, could melt you;
Into joys and tears, in willing submission.

Treat him not, to your portions...

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Oodles Of Google Doodles...

visually delicious as  germane strudels
the following cooked years ago
courtesy me noggin awash with noodles.

Yours truly crafted remaining poem
around 27th July 2018
idea arose within me cerebral dome.

...As poetic theme came to mind
...

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Blech - impossible mission to savor mug of ginger tea...

When the entire mug awash
with floating leavings
by golly by gosh,
sipping said herbal brew
analogous challenge
to eat spaghetti squash
with one chopstick.

Earlier yesterday February twenty fourth
two thousand twenty four
found...

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Number forty six - White House occupant re:
guarding President elect Joe Biden

Within mein hermitage
now dwells one euphoric troglodyte who wept
upon hearing unbelievable news,
(albeit at snail's pace schlepped
finally proclamation emancipation
gave reasonable rhyme yours truly to ejaculate
(not...

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Canny remember this Lass's name,
but fur the poem's sake let's assume she's Jane.
'Jane ' this per wee soul had fingers lighter than a blidy feather,
aw things within her sicht yea had tae tether.

Wartime is no...

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Get out of my head mister chatterbox!

Ransacking treasure trove 
of maximum headroom.

To remedy a fate worse than death
or orange hair oaf becoming 
forty seventh president
or contracting one
of several viral diseases named pox
permeate heavy shut tight...

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I looked it up on Google,
Read the turgid prose,
Did the questionnaire
Was very quickly diagnosed.
So many things now
Suddenly fell into place
After a lifetime's experience
Of constantly losing face.
No longer the clumsy oaf,
No longer the thickie spastic,
No longer...

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this Democratic Party affiliated member i.e.
   considered (with an eye blink)
   positing the following blurb
   for a very short while

asper the "FAKE" trumpeting
   oaf fish shill offal
...

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Dutiful discipline drives devoted diligence...

Quotidian dedication describes
das deft dude,
his promising passion
with English language
within recent past dim sum
might notice he brewed

poems about common
trials and tribulations food
for thought self sadist factorially
reasonably rhyming oft times
incorporating analogy, metaphor, simile
more...

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Ah at last camaraderie restored within the Oval Office!

Whew... now with president er... Chief
tenderloin hoof and mouth 
knick knack paddywhack shah row'n nah 
diseased Trumpen proletariat -
ever so..., (think huck Cain Abel) -

phloem with his...

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Pledging poetic collaboration...
(alternatively titled: putting
iambic pentameter feet put in mouth)

(Spanning across internet)
analogous to accept marital vow
(after blind date contestants
meet courtesy bachelor/bachelorette),
though each of us never met
mutual (of Omaha) accord

consonant with me... you bet
your sweet bippy...

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Now I’m Yorkshire peasant stock
I sup ale instead of drinking wine
And I tend to nosh my scranny
Not sit down proper and dine

There’s a restaurant down our street
Not really for the likes of me
Attendants to park...

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