Long Mousetrap Poems

[Now ShallowMan is quite content
receiving FactoidMan’s consent
to quibble and express dissent
as long as keeping covenant
with fingers crossed and belfry bent
when viewing Facts in sealed cement:]

SM
“The Facts you give me circumvent
those ‘truths’ your chuckles supplement;
although they...

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I'll drink to that, three sheets in the wind, the Booze cruise                       ...

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My team is losing,
and I'm mad
I shouldn't have put all my money down
It was supposed to be a sure thing,
according to this wise guy Darwin clown

He said evolution
created the perfect mousetrap
But it seems to me
those...

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 Pyrrhic revenge

They’d eaten his books, his clothes and lean paper money,
Whetted their teeth against his coins and an old jar of honey.
They’d blown cold air nightly, as they gnawed whilst he slept,
Eating bits of...

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My speech was all out of sequence, my catch phrase for it was ‘mad gab’
I kept saying balderdash like apples to apples my brain was  a scrabble!  
Also I was hearing things in...

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Hammers, Slammers, Polly Pockets, My Little Pony, and Pogs
Back when my big sister collected frogs
Hello Kitty, Kerokeroppi, Badtz Maru
I'm bringing the 80's back to you
American Dolls, Cabbage Patch Kids, Kareoke Machines
These were the 80's toys...

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Sheesh! I think there are ANTS IN MY PANTS! The strange kid yelled.
The rest of us started laughing like our HEARTS were going to fall out.
Her annoyance tickled us, she had not been invited, and...

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in all human history this is being said now
as the flies gather about my corpse
and its waiting Molotov cocktail booby trap
we all feast upon what we were
with more monotonous regularity
than what we might become
with all...

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Who did it
Whodunit
I really do not know 
But this evening
I will witness 
a truly iconic show

The Mousetrap* it is named
its claim to fame I hear 
Is “the world’s longest run”
Now in its 67th year

Dame Agatha...

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Welcome to this "risk"-taking game of "life."
Choose a blue companion peg, or snag a pink wife,
or ride "solitaire" through this "scrabble"d "mousetrap,"
or add so many kids that they stack on your lap.

Enjoy the terrible twos...

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Now I have discovered baloney and waffle listed under a words in relationship to 
nonsense. What other kinds of food can I find listed in reference to nonsense?   
Drivel lists foolishness, poppycock, idiocy,...

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"That's utter balderdash," I loudly screamed
you can't catch a dragon with a mousetrap.
This operation proves you have no clue
we're in trouble; put on your thinking cap! 

I'm sorry, but luck is not on our side
and...

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Kicking Some Mouse Butt




I can since when a rodent is there,
I bet he's dropping his disgusting feces everywhere,
This thing outsmarted every mousetrap I bought,
It ate the cheese right off the trap and didn't even get...

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So you’re feeling like a lab rat,
cagey edicts don’t experimentally sit well with you
Those white coat government cats
be cheesing you off with the moldy logic they spew

Lockdowns are the latest liberty mousetrap — 
Regulatory rules...

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I unearthed mouse turds in the silverware tray.
The little furry devils are back.
I bought some traps.
The little wooden snappy ones.
The kind my father wielded decades before.
They hadn't changed one bit throughout the years,
Why change deadly...

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Grandma Gets a Computer

By Elton Camp

Elvira’s grandchildren, one and all insist
“Without a computer so much you miss”

“Skype lets you see us as we chat.
You will be very happy to use that.”

“And e-mail is the absolutely...

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A Mirror Image

With my big mouth blowing in the breeze
Someone said shut it would you please
Why is it that you are not very bright?
And of everything start to loose sight.

Like winding up on a dead...

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Tom the Cat has some new amazing ideas up his sleeve.
He is constantly outsmarted by Jerry, a mouse who is his peeve.
He has built a mousetrap guaranteed to get this varmint once and for all.
It...

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“You lose sixty seconds of happiness
For every minute you're mad”
So damn well cheer up everybody
Things aren't really that bad

Ralph Waldo Emerson said that
While not exactly that way
Ralphie was a pretty smart cookie
So listen to what...

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“You lose sixty seconds of happiness
For every minute you're mad”
So damn well cheer up everybody
Things aren't really that bad

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said
While not exactly that way
Ralphie was a pretty smart cookie
So listen to what...

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Blowing up
On the thistledown tail 
Dancing in grooves 
Of Vulcans palm
Printed in a horses ear
Swimming in a fish's gills 
Cleverly caught 
To be spread on butterfly wings
Shouting, “I want the sun”
Til’ our buttress burned ...

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Once again, the system fails us,
Everyone defends the guilty one.
Our purpose and lives are taken,
B.L.M is just white noise to the nation.

Breonna Taylor never received justice,
America treats our lives as a fungus.
White kills black acquitted...

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I set out mousetraps
Not expecting to catch a robber
But I did.

He was a big fellow, full grown
Nigh onto fifty probably.
Wore a mask.

Before I released him I asked him to take it off.
He refused,
And he was...

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I love me some Pecorino Romano cheese
   The taste is divine, it brings to me my knees!
I love it on pizzas, generously. I love it on my chili 
    ...

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When the Last milkman
Puts the last
Quart of milk
In the last milkbox,

And the last
General Practitioner
Makes the last
house call

And the last
mousetrap
is invented,

The last sea
 is crossed
The last hope
 is lost

And the last
human thought 
has faded
Into eternity

The last...

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