Long Lotsa Poems
Long Lotsa Poems. Below are the most popular long Lotsa by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Lotsa poems by poem length and keyword.
Life consists of a happy youth
The beginning of a lifelong arc
Then a dear dear family comes next
Life is like a day in the park
Joy and laughter are number one
We just can't believe our luck
Then we notice our first grey hair
And panic begins to erupt
Must be a mistake, it can't be true
I'm right at the top of the curve
Perhaps a grave error has just occurred
Now “grave” that ain't a good word
Still very vibrant and filled with pizzaz
I'm much too young to get old
However I do feel a chill, it just can't be
This body's starting to feel cold
Imagination is running away with me
Still got lotsa gas in the tank
Just hit the ancient age of eighty-six years
Guess I've got good genes to thank!
Oh, I'm a Limmerjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I write all day
I write silly stuff, I fry my brain
I go to the lava-tree
On weekday's I get hammered
And write about thirty-three
I write pretty poems
I eat lotsa stuff
I goes to the lava-tree
On weekday's I get hammered
And write about thirty-three
CHORUS
I write silly stuff, I fry my brain
I like to pick wild flowers
I dress up in women's clothing
And hang around in showers
Oh, I'm a Limmerjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I write all day
(My apologies to Monty Python
but Carol made me do it)
© Jack Ellison 2015
Our prez is now Donald J Trump
Who has promised to clean out the sump
Well he's certainly no wussy
When groping a pussy
What more to expect from a gump?
In charge of the Vice, Michael Pence
Said some things that embrace little sense,
"Global warming's a myth"
But's now taking the fifth
In attempting to straddle the fence
We all recall general Flynn
Put in charge of security spin
A trained atomiser
No more Trump's advisor -
His deal with the devil's his sin
The billionaire Betsy Devos
Making plans for a school albatross
Hating free education
Backs private castration
And kids will be bearing her Cross.
The Congress approved Jeff B. Sessions
Ignoring his racist obsessions
He seemingly cares
More for foreign affairs
While forgiving Klan's toxic transgressions.
Chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon
Develops the Great Again Canon:
The Goldman Sachs Bankster
Turned yellow rag gangster
Flings crap from the New Order cannon
Says EPA ruler Scott Pruitt
"Instead of dry facts, we intuit..."
(His work as denier
Keeps profits much higher)
"... If everything dies, well, just screw it"
The war whoops of Mad Doggy Mattis
Awaken the death apparatus
With boundless expense
For a doomsday defence -
Armageddon administered gratis
The magnates no longer need lobby
Or fight regulations thought snobby -
Now set in the saddle
They're herding the cattle
And pulling the strings as a hobby
Now the Don can start wielding the axes
Truncating the tariffs and taxes
The Mafia boss
Is dismissing the dross
And poverty's pain as it waxes
Poem’s Notes:
(Bride didn’t clear grade three exams.
Tests shant deter life’s plans!
Groom talks silly taboo.
Never cared, likes wife’s screw!)
Groom wears loose jeans.
Shaft fills tight seams.
Bride looks under table.
Likes sight; tells fable:
“Once there lived Bunny.
Shhhh…quiet Honey.”
Bride began story again…
“Bunny wants hare’s skins.
Loves butts tight; small.
Bunny noses sniff flaws.”
Groom stops…quick…think!
Gulps. Yikes! Heart sinks.
(Bride butt’s quite jumbo.)
(Pours soups, lotsa gumbo)
“Hurry, Lover. Sorta tired.
Early morns, debts mired.”
Bride yawns, takes pause.
Shirk small Groom flaws.
“Never worry, Bride cares.”
Ended story, twirl hairs.
Written: 02/21/18
Contest: Little Laughter Five
Host: Edward McCall
Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour
However, there are some definite side effects
Remembering to put on you jockeys or your bra if you're a lady
Or if you've recently given up group sex
The average woman uses her height in lipstick every five years
That's damn bizarre, men don't use that much
Let me take that back, know some that would challenge that
But male is not quite appropriate as such
May 29th in the U.K. is “Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day”
Bizarre is the only word that's appropriate here
Those Brits are a looney bunch, case in point, Monty Python
But thoroughly enjoyed their stuff though weird
Billy goats pee on their heads to smell attractive to the girls
Hmm, don't think I'll try that with milady
First of all, how in the name of hell could I possibly do that
Perhaps there's a video to help me maybe
In our life, we produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools
Forgive me if I decide to take a rain check okay
Nothing personal but for some reason it doesn't appeal to me
Don't know why not feeling well today
A big bad eagle can kill and fly away with a young deer
If I see one I'll yell nasty words and stare
Not afraid, they'd feel my wrath big time, probably scoot
Specially if I wear pretty flowers in my hair
Farting for 6 years straight, produces the power of an atomic bomb
Must have to be really fed up with life I'd say
Need to lay off the beans, cauliflower and Brussel sprouts
Eat lotsa yummy fast foods through the day
Flowers grow much faster if exposed to music they say
Sounds kinda far fetched to this old duffer
Guess if you whisper love words and kiss their privates
They'll start to stammer and stutter
A cushion for the pushin' that extra poundage is good
Skinny-ma-link's sharp edges damn well hurt
But as long as they smell good and don't drool on my tux
Even skinnies still satisfy my big urge
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a Princess
“Will you marry me?”, the Princess said, “No!”
But the Prince lived happily ever after
As away on his Harley-Davidson he rode
He started dating lotsa full-breasted women
Hunted and fished and raced cars
Was seen courting ladies less than half his age
Drank Guinness and frequented bars
Been quite a while since he's heard any nagging
And he never paid child support
Romanced gorgeous cheerleaders regularly
Mud wrestling was his favourite sport
Ate Spam, french fries and Boston baked beans
Blew enormous earth shattering farts
A rebellious soul who left toilet seats up
Freaking cool and happy as a lark!
© Jack Ellison 2013
I reckon to us city dudes an' ordinary blokes it seems somewhat strange,
But a cowpoke an' his horse become pards when ridin' the lonely range!
Pausin' fer a roll-yer-own under a ponderosa after a hot ride on the grange,
He might alight from the saddle, lean agin his hoss an' hold this exchange:
"Dan, ol' pard, me an' you has spent years ridin' them bobbed war fences.
I sure do like yer company, ol' pal, 'cause you ain't got no pretenses!
You ain't like them wimmen folk I knows - they is jes' a common scold!
You don't give me any sass an' you kindly do what yer told!"
"I reckon as long as I kin tolerate Cooky's grub an' you git yer oats to eat,
We kin abide the cantankerous boss, rattlesnakes an' the prickly heat.
We've rode togither in mud, dust, sleet an' rain an' the blowin' snow,
An' ye've been a good an' faithful cuss, I jes wanted ye to know!"
"I 'preciate yer toleratin' my git-tar strummin durin' night cattle guard,
When me an' you soothe them dogies when it's a-thunderin' real hard!
I don't know 'bout you, ol' Dan, but I have lotsa time to ponder,
Jes' a-gazin' at the wonder of them mountain ranges over yonder!"
"I ain't never gonna git rich cowboyin', an' ain't that the truth!
But, ol' pard, that's all I ever hankered to do ever since my youth!
Well, if'n yer ready to hit the trail agin I'll saddle up ol' friend.
We has got a heap of work to do before this day comes to an end!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Certainly. There's lotsa stuff
that's no more.
Certainty, like death, is forever.
Change stops when you're dead.
Change does just that, keeps changing.
You can give up smoking
yet you can't give up changing.
Gave up smokin' fifty years ago.
Cigarettes, ash trays, things of my past.
There's something about ashes
everyone eventually ends up there.
Many of us make ashes of ourselves.
These Ifs surely can get ya.
And those Ands keep comin'.
But the Butts
no more for me.
Funny how this works.
Certainty, good riddance.
No Ifs Ands or Butts.
19 Lines Free Verse 93 Words October 2022
Pen illustration G. Gaul
a bee
invaded our car in
nineteen fifty four
while we were driving
to the jersey shore
flew in my open back window
of our two tone ford custom
pea green top black bottom
hurtling down the highway
four kids two adults
doing sixty
our kid arms outside the windows
flailing and pushing the wind
no cares
must have looked from above
like some giant green beetle
lotsa wiggly white legs
once the bee was inside
it was havoc
screaming and screeching
kids curled up in fear
in the rear
mom and dad barking out orders
we knew it had a stinger
it wanted to get us
stab us
never really saw its sticky spear
scary when needles are near
it buzzed all about
for a minute or two
up to the windshield
back near my ear
mom tried to thwack it
with her home journal
but missed
it disappeared
we all wanted to kill it
that is what you do with bees
waited and waited
no bee
then in a fury it came out
from under the front seat
hiding in a sea of springs
plotting for its moment
its chance to escape
we must have gone twenty miles
with it in our car
so out it came
buzzed a bit
then flew out my window
gone
we all took a sigh of relief
the villain excommunicated
after the yapping stopped
silence for a few miles
then i got a slow sadness
how will it find its home
it was very very far away
i thought if i was the bee
maybe i would feel lost
i remember when mom
found me in wanamakers
in toys
mom leaned over the front seat
and said
his home is everywhere
huh
that was enough for me
even though i had no clue
what it all meant what to do
my first lesson in empathy
taught by a teeny thing so wee
a bee
free verse 74 lines 326 words
Pen illustration G. Gaul
Once read that a kangaroo can't jump
Unless its tail is touching the ground
I've tried it and I couldn't jump either
I too, was literally earth bound
Heaviest land mammal is the elephant
Weighing around 8,000 pounds
Me mum-in-law comes in a close second
Those booms are her walking around
A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge
A dime has only 118 grooves
Bet you'll be able to sleep well tonight
This information tends to soothe
A whale's heart beats 9 times a minute
Faster when they're having sex
Imagine the picture you guys are having
Afterwards, smoking a cigarette
It's a little known fact that baby robins
Eat 14 feet of worms a day
Imagine the heartburn these guys have
Need lotsa Pepto Bismol I'd say
If you ever decide to walk to the sun
It would take you about 2000 years
If someone started back in 14 A.D.
They're just about to burn up, I fear
In Turkey, back in the 16th century
Drinking coffee could get you hanged
Imagine if they killed you for that today
Populations would drop with a bang
Every 8 seconds, a new baby is born
Every 14 seconds there's a death
I suggest we all should stop having sex
Coz we won't have any space left!
© Jack Ellison 2013