Long Hairdressers Poems

Sore testicles
isopropyl never dried
pan to the head
thank the splatter web
for the psychosis of this muse
vopour transmission
liars for friends
come one come all
come again
double fudged sunday
Electric lies
how was i to know the chemistry underneath all the stains
why...

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An unfortunate calibre is a turtle turning in a towel. Vast vistas vacate villages videoing vests vehemently And all the time the sleeping beast snores as the cattle drive by in their mooving mobile manufactured...

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Would I change from a girl, and give up all my curls?
Would I quit wearing dresses, stop paying hairdressers?
Change places with him? Be a “he”, not a “she”?
Be a guy? Would I buy it?…For awhile...

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Stereotypes


Black people all have rhythm and are good at basketball
   Not a single blond in the world has any brains at all
Englishmen have bad teeth and Mexicans are lazy
   And if...

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** Apologies for anyone unfamiliar with the metaphors used, they're quite British ***

Most people in life work for someone
as all the statistics have shown
but I thought I'd go out and start up by myself
as an...

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I never voted, anyhow supported, never trusted
Those who rule now
Yet I am claimed responsible
Over the deeds of people I never trusted
And my name is not Josef K.
In the light of the absurdity of what’s happening,...

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An unfortunate calibre is a turtle turning in a towel. Vast vistas vacate villages videoing vests vehemently And all the time the sleeping beast snores as the cattle drive by in their mooving mobile manufactured...

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People often say now I understand
When they hear that I'm from Paree
Not Gay Paree silly, but redneck
In the heart of Tennessee

I am the newest style of hairdressers
Here to lay out all the facts
I no longer...

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So much for my ideas of slowing down,
Taking it easy just sitting watching TV.
I moved to a peaceful seaside town,
Since then I have found a few things occupy me.

I play bridge at least three times...

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Dear Lord, I’d love to meet you. I’ll just check my diary now
To see when it’s convenient, so I can squeeze you in somehow.
Oh dear, it seems on Monday night I won’t be free.
I’ve made...

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Winter has arrived for a treatment and later makes a grand entrance at the 
hairdressers.
At home,forged metal, molten metal  ,blacksmith hammering a horseshoe.
Quicksilver mercury smooth metal  etched and inlayed with black enamel
Straw bale...

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The dreaded Cancer, seems to me,
gets much too much publicity.
In restaurants, both fast and fine,
at parties up and down the line,
in hurried conversations at
the place I buy food for my cat,
the barber or the hairdressers,
wherever...

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The truth is that people think I am the best listener in the world.
I have mastered the face and the expressions of the most interested.
I can toss out the best impression of a person who...

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I stood in the middle of a rose garden
I watched nature map out its own pattern
I quietly listened out for the budding
And heard the sound of a bee buzzing

I stood in the middle of a...

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There's a little town in Ouyen Vic.'' Under 1200 people so
I'll tell you bout aspects; of it sort'a quick!
There's Clarys slate bush etching, in three d real fine.!
And a little hairdressers that comes to mind.?
The...

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Oh bother I look like a badger
and I do not have any hair dye,
But I’ve discovered the perfect product
on its coverage you can always rely

It’s a temporary spray on hair colour
believe me it really is...

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