Long Grudgingly Poems

Where art thou anonymous benefactor...to offer me succor?

Ah... methinks legal tender 
could be a boon to help me bolster 
mein kampf with necessary material equipage,
which prospect to acquire essential 
commodities sabotaged 
at the altar of...

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Precious priceless progeny 

     Hands down the most dramatic change ever needed to make the most profound impact awoke from helping beget the first offspring. An internal paradigm shift reshuffled priorities...

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Now the sun and the sand were treacherously hot
    and not a place for Man or a Beast.
As you must be audaciously quick to find a good spot
    or...

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Niithaar Perumai, the Fundamental Role of Ascetics, Canto 26 of the Thirukkural, the Tamil Classical Treatise on Ethics, Translation and Commentary by T. Wignesan 


[Given the scarcity of information (mostly conflicting even then) on the...

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Ace colonoscopy doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales 
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days...

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Before you commit...I have to admit
    that I consider you all to be friends.
So feel free to sit back...and try to relax
    And I hope you make it right...

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Pleasant spring like day February 9th, 2024

A scent (and sixth sense predominates),
when apple boughs
and other aromatic flora
laden with blossoms and fruit
gently assail cilia of the nostrils,
aside from aiding distinguishing 
pleasant or unpleasant smells 
additionally incorporate...

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Present wedded bliss haint no touchstone...

Circa ~ late spring/ early summer 1978
twas at behest of Harriet Harris,
thus due credit mother dearest
(she long since passed away)
who tried, to bribe, coax, exhort...
(protracted effort not all in vain),
cuz...

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The Sun had risen to greet the day
    and marveled at such a range of wondrous things.
Where below the warmth it brought to bare
    was causing a Thrasher's heart...

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Fraught With IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome...

today – late morning of November 4th 2022
sudden onset experienced whereby
whooshing waste naturally flushed out
ala mine body electric performed colonoscopy
diarrheal gangbuster instigated
maybe Machiavellian microbe
with powerful rectal surge
analogous to invisible plunger
forcing...

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Ace colonoscopy doctors Kellen Karl Kovalovich
and Larry Borowsky

Though necessary to down: 
four Dulcolax laxative tablets, 
quaff half 238 gram bottle of Miralax 
over span of eight hours, 
and if necessary even one Fleets Enema, 
I...

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Most mind boggling mysterious mortal

Mystification prevails stupefying yours truly
befuddled, he blindly stumbles along rocky
pathway illusory impediments strewn helter
skelter intangible obstructions hinder access
psychological barricades effective impasse

detains, deters, detours manhood maturation
manumission manifestation materialization
linkedin, when permanent submission arises
beckoning...

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Support Your Local Po' Whet (Hick) Bummer, i.e. me

Freedom from onset of pervasive gloom 
(attendant with profusely perspiring palms, 
hut tree men duh us aggravation), would be 
a dog send to this melon collie bow...

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Humus me? My vegetated chokes ingest!
(jokes all in jest)

Hard to believe, I orange in a lee
started life as barely visible speck!

Just in the course of healthy growing
season, this former minute nearly
microscopic entity developed into
quite pleasing...

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Dear SafeLink Customer,
(one of the many recipients includes me).

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced that the Affordable Connectivity Program (ACP) is ending, and April 2024 will be the last fully funded month for your benefits...

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February 13th, 2023 - old man winter gave a one...two punch

Overladen snow covered crackle and crunch
though, this skeptic owned a doubtful hunch
that such 24/7 round the clock whether coverage
would make laughingstock of forecasting
how Jack Frost...

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Crazy lady with model outfits – what now? You’ll see in a moment *hint* she’s a taker, not a giver ~!
Hah! She’s straight-out self-confident – I must laugh my pants off! What does she have...

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Daylight Savings Time – March 13th,   2022

A long time graduate courtesy 
Hard Knocks alum,
once again yours truly 
posts reasonable rhyme 
about shortest day of the year.

Two o'clock Ante Meridiem 
nostri Jesu Christi 
hour...

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Harumph To Holiday Hoopla – Phish Pshaw!

Relieved of fatherhood Saint
Nick schtick found me
to relinquish ratty outfit, and stow away zee bras
like padding and "FAKE flowing beard,
ah...don't remind me,
those well worn faux paws

of each dear deer...

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Judy Leigh was addicted with a food fixation.
Gorging on fruit, veggies, and any crustacean.
She wanted to stop and yelled, "Damnation!
My overeating is causing me such frustration!"

While grudgingly doing her morning chores,
Judy acquired the bad habit...

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Steer free and clear by a bajillion miles... 
the warning words website not secure
nearly left writer of these words piss poor.

usually linkedin with pornography websites
lest ye find yourself in the maws of hackers.

generalization utilized to...

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Twas a fortnight before Christmas
And my spidey senses were lit.
Knowing the bike I so wanted
Was to cost quite a bit.
Where my hope sprang eternal
But then I have to admit.
I wasn't too sure
If we were needy...

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Spindleshanks Ain't No Legend...

But sits here donned in his foreign
aged (not so lovely) bag of bones
barely functioning surviving, but by
skin off his teeth, (which explains
dentures) regretting, revisiting,
ruminating hellacious bout with

anorexia nervosa, approximately
five dozen (multiply) orbitz...

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Where art thou anonymous benefactor...to offer me succor?

Castaway stranded on figurative 
deserted island pitted with absolute 
zero salvation, sole recourse 
finds scant consolation with prayer 
lifetime atheist draws futile faith 
within himself grudgingly accepting

feeble accomplishments...

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Angel of mercy please intercede

Weakest most lame specimen
among human breed
control of my life I willingly concede
wordless son of a gun fires off 
following capricious poetic deed 
done dirt cheap while 
traveling highway to hell
the speed...

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