Long Giving in Poems
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It's funny, because I've vacuumed under your bed
a hundred times in the past two years
I've dusted the black bedside table
picked up your Scotch and Soda pants off the floor,
still jingling with belt attached
All of your belts and shoes are brown
My father told me as a child, that homosexuals
were identifyable according to the colour of their leather
- Brown meant straight - black equalled gay - simple!
It was an odd jolt seeing your face for the first time
Framed in slim silver, large laptop screen size photo
A typical care filled composition
Brunette, proud as puch five foot five, linked her arm
Through your blue shirt arm, her grin was relief saturated
She had to be a Christian, your family is devout Christian
Appearing 25, she no doubt felt a first sexual encounter
was long overdue
But catered for entirely by God's intention
Anyhow, Aaron, I'm sorry I digress, - you're a busy man
Hence I've never seen you on a Friday when I clean there
You haven't yet moved out of Mom and Dad's s home, it must
make it easier to keep life in order, avoid giving in to urges
1920's movie star you are, in glinted silver screen frame
Minus Charlie Chaplin moustache
Plus ten pounds, giving your face cherubic cuteness
Kewpie eyed expression unphased
jowls harking harmless ventriloquist puppet
Don't be upset
If I described myself it would be similarly unorthodox
Vacuum zooming (according to aggressive motor noise)
I gazed at your lax lipped purple tinged face
- it has to be the most obvious unspoken secret in your family
- Aaron, sweet child of God.
Your world won't have a bar of who you are
Your Mother had just returned to position a large vase
showcasing three dozen orange roses behind your frame
Plus a cellophane covered hamper of high end liquor
God, Aaron - your upbringing has enclosed you
aligned with their strict beliefs
You'll need to put that cellophane over your mouth
Wrap it tight around your heart
- You have a congregation to consider
you'll be alright
Chorus:
The countryside rambler refused to be confined
in an institution of experimentation and be abused;
escaping civilization was her will to find freedom,
to see the new spring bloom and chase butterflies:
all she wanted was to ramble in her peaceful kingdom,
where she was free to create her own happiness!
Verse I
Many don't know why Linda Bishop was afraid;
her strange personality made her helpless and frail,
and unable to burn all the bridges she crossed,
she held on her firm belief that freedom wasn't Hell!
Verse II
Linda Bishop, challenged every doctor in the psychatric world...
refusing what it offered to make her feel alive and do better;
her mental disease was advanced and needed to be cured,
pills were the only alternative to make her a prisoner forever!
Verse III
And in that room where demons gathered daily
to break her fearless spirit, she planned revenge:
never giving in and allowing others to change
her outlook on life and mainly her delusive reality!
Verse IV
Linda Bishop defied a society that believed in medication,
she broke from it and wandered in that wilderness all winter;
surviving on water and apples she picked in cool October...
some wonder how she spent her time in bleaky desolation?
Verse V
Linda's fate was an aweful one, she was found dead by a dim burning log
in an old farmhouse wearing a coat that sheltered her from the bitter cold;
she was a hermit who sought no sympathy, perhaps her faith in our Lord
was stronger than anyone who ever lived in solitude, finding comfort in song!
Written on 5/7/2017
And here comes another sleepless night
I try to make light of it with all my might
I have spent my hours and minutes uselessly…feeling numb sensations
I pray for forgiveness for giving in to my wicked, yet exhilarating temptations
I am anticipating that my future will work out alright
I have so many plans that I am now confused tonight
I try to read the bible daily and it gets difficult to understand it completely
I want to abide and be obedient to His wisdom that was made beautifully
My muse has been murdering my mindset for years on end
I am so sick of the abuse I go through on a daily basis
You know what I need? I need a mend that I can comprehend
I am so tired of being lazy and acting crazy in my abyss
I wander away into my fantasy world once more
I ponder away the thoughts that are overwhelmingly harmful and absolutely negative
I have grown accustomed to Your grace galore
I need to open ajar the opportunities that lie ahead…hope it’s not far too expensive
There is benevolence and bravery in my brazen heart
I am trying to have humility and true zealousness
As well as focus on painting some bizarre, abstract art
I am crying from the inside – relieve my sadness
And here comes another sleepless night
I am oh so fervently taking flight all night long, all night long
You have frightened me with your plight
I am oh so thankful that God has mercy on me all along, all along
**Merci Dieu means Thank You, God in French.. :)**
My eyes
Witness your departure
My eyes
Are dripping with hopelessness…
My eyes start to blur…
Melancholy put me under pressure…
Is there a cure to my disease?
You don’t see
The shards of hope that once brought us back together
Just let me search for safety
I’m strong enough to realize that I’m no longer
The weakest prey out there…
And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me whimpering like a distraught puppy left on the train tracks?
I’m close to my demise…save me and take me home
Nourish me…and be my beloved friend
Will this friendship last forever?
Hopefully it has no end
Will this cheerful moment help us get along with each other?
Because of you…I feel the need to run
I keep an eye on you – I worry that you’ll hurt yourself again
Because of you…My freedom is nearly gone
I don’t wanna be caught off guard again
Because of you…EYE can’t picture a solution for our vexing dilemma
Because of you…eye can’t focus on my long-term goal
And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you sense that I’m giving in to failure?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…I can’t endure
The hardships that you place upon me…
Could you boost up my confidence to overcome
My atrocious anxiety?
I’m just waiting for some sun
To keep me in good hands…
To strengthen me with perseverance …
I’m just waiting until His son
Leads the world outtah Egypt and reveals to us…
His radiance…His dazzling Kingdom –
Vibrant with glee
Your undying sympathy dawns upon us
I’m overflowing with indescribable joy
You’re a candle in the night…
We meet eye to eye…
What a sight…what a precious sight
I can’t ever think of giving up,
Giving in to defeat, overcome by the load,
Overwhelmed and overthrown –
Doubting my own worth, my own strength,
The vigor that comes from believing
Even when in doubt, I can make it through,
Find the courage and audacity to kill
Every dread, every doubt, every despair
With the assurance that I have what it takes –
I have the skill to beat all the odds
I have the vigor to seize the moment
I have the ability to prove my worth
I can’t ever think of giving up,
Losing my confidence, hitting that rock solid
Enemy – the darkest war betraying me
With its fears, unleashed by the weariness
The exhaustion that I’m feeling because I’ve been
Fighting a heavy load with every effort,
Exerting all that I have to show the world…
Oh, yes, I can – I can make it to the end,
Victorious and sure that I will always be able,
Proficient, able to struggle through –
Even when darkness so gloomy, falls all around
Even with overcast skies, I know that I can…
Oh, yes, I can fight the battle and win
I can make it to the end, secure in the friend
That silences all my fears, gives support
And reminds me that, with his hands sustaining me,
I will have the victory – Yes, oh yes – I’m a winner
Until the end, I will forever be indebted to my friend
The warrior on the other end, gripping the handle
That guides me as I scoop up earth and rock,
Force myself to always come out on top!
Only a shovel, some might say – but for him,
I inspire his heart to pray…
“help me, Lord, to loosen the soil, dig up the earth
so that a new foundation is born… “
He was a gentle giant
Big with a bigger heart
He had a difficult ailment
Alcohol and drugs in part
He gave his shirt off his back
With a unconditional love
Without leaving out a fact
He told stories sent from above
His hug was like being embraced
By someone who knows your deepest pains
He would hold you until he had erased
Any feelings of discouragement or chains
When he looked into your eyes
You felt sure he could see everything inside
His gaze was like someone who is wise
Beyond the years that they abide
His death was like a fearful walk
From joy into the depths of hurt
I could actually feel my mind balk
Keeping me from giving in to the effort
It’s been sixteen years and each day
I think of his kindness, his presence
I miss him and feel like I must pay
For the overwhelming absence
I have to say that love has a way
Of making life more precious
Without my gentle giant I can say
My tears hold more potency
And I often pray
For reverence
©2014 by Regina Riddle
My heart swelled up and I shook with excitement
tears slowly trickled down my cheeks; I felt enlightened.
My mind was running in so many directions.
Who? Why? When? Thinking of so many questions;
How long had it been there? Why hadn't I noticed?
Encouraged and inspired I got my mind focused.
I had a smile bursting with sunshine from within,
sunshine that could light up the day not giving in
No matter how dark the night tried to cease the day.
If I could reach and hug the angel, I'd say,
“Thank you for trusting me with such a gift.”
The gift brought a feeling of inspirational lift,
I never had a clue someone could be so giving.
How can I complain with a day of thanksgiving?
Still gazing with excitement with giggles and a gee wiz,
trying to imagine and wonder, who my angel is.
4/26/2018
Poetry Contest; Anonymous Angels
Sponsored by: Yazmin Malik
All my darkest thoughts, the heaviness of my heart,
Taught me that, through love,
It would be Jesus, and God above,
Who would always be with me, forever the part…
Of my life, that would bring me so much peace,
Silencing the doubts and the grief,
Giving my soul such sweet relief,
Oh, my, His miracles and wonders never cease!
All my doubts and fears would soon be gone,
Leaving my spirit so that I could sing my song,
Letting me know – Jesus is never wrong.
His love, such love – He’s the SON to which I’m drawn.
Wherever I go, I hope others can see…
The gentle in this heart who just believes,
He is always with me – He never leaves,
And, because I know Him, I’m truly free!
All my reasons for giving up and giving in,
Remind me that love is still alive and well.
And, love, my friend, will forever compel…
to remember the One who lives within!
I wanted something bubbly
Coke with ice cream trick
That fridge, again, empty
So I made my trip to Kwik
Swerving around this town in my horses
Parking up by the front door
No training could have prepared me for
What waited inside the store
Standing with her 2-liter of Diet 7-Up
If I just died, keep me here on heaven
I asked above not be taken so abruptly
Feeling luckier than sevens or elevens
Now she says that this place
Is wherever we stand here
Desiring her within my space
Needing her crystal clear
That gentleness of her touch
As we let go while giving in
When love has got its clutch
In times we are skin to skin
21 Jan 2019 11:46 Am
I shant see another day
As clearly as today
For with every day and every year
The eye become less clear
Fogged with worry and smudged with pain
Frosted with indifference and distorted with hatreds rain
A life lived hurried turns hearts to stone
Wearing blinders to see the future while the present is at home
We think that we live when we work and we give
While life pours away like water through a sieve
Positive thinking is rose colored glasses
Hiding and disguising the evil of the masses
Aleaving the sypmtoms does not cure the disease
Pretending life is easy does not make it a breaze
Peace does not come by giving in
Love is not forced but givin from within
Faith is our hope of life to live again
A life without worry, sorrow, pain and sin