Long Giving in Poems
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looking for a little different in an imprisoned planet of same
a drop of color presents itself and melts the ice cubes freezing the warmest part of my heart
in an altered dream within a lightly fused state of somewhere, she returns to me in a perfect shade of everything
looking for a little different in an imprisoned planet of shame
many cups of intentional nothingness has made me an addict in the salty puddles of my own shame
in an altered dream within a lightly fused state of somewhere, she reunites with me in a perfect hue of all and all
looking for a little different in an imprisoned planet of same
a touch of blandness completely floors me giving in to regret and sure shame
in an altered dream within a lightly fused state of somewhere, she makes it official with me in a perfect illumination of always meant to be
The pain was so bad I can remember listening to my heart break, while I listened to heart break songs
Even had a couple of drinks I think to make my heart feel strong
But that wasn’t the case, one drink took me to our last great memory
Two drinks had me saying I don’t care about you, when in fact you were really all I cared about
Three drinks and I’m falling above all these feelings as if I’ve moved on from you, but this time frame was limited
Because as my body sobered up my mind became drunk
And everything I told myself I wouldn’t do or did not care about became my actions and thoughts
p.s. I gave heed to the persuasive liquid conversations and ended up giving in to myself knowing I shouldn’t listen…
Goodbye to heroin,
Goodbye to cocaine,
I truly wish I hadn't, let you know my name.
At first I used to sniff you,
Looking forward to the drip,
All the while not realizing, how strong you had a grip.
Days turn to months,
Months then turn to years,
Losing all inhibition, giving in to unbridled fears.
My days began in a cooker,
Nights ended there as well,
The wheels go round and round, in this ever waking hell.
Sucking brown liquid through the cotton,
So I can then shoot it in my vein,
Life gets harder and harder, weighted down by these chains.
Slowly things are coming together,
In the sober life I chose,
Just like the phoenix, from the ashes I Rose.
The children of Enoch
In a time of obscure realm and ancient lore,
Sodom was the brimming cup of secrets to score.
The primordial drama of good and evil unfolds,
Enoch’s antiquity’s timelessness beholds.
The corruption of the sacred and insatiable lust,
when angels and daughter of men entrust.
Irrepressible desire to beget children by these women,
spellbound egos power abdomen.
Zarathustra the Persian prophet made it very clear
warning everybody of unnamed horrors to fear.
Angels of dark and their twisted heavens version,
conceived children and their devouring dispersion.
That society latched to war games to commit genocide,
in defense of their holy claim and bride.
Gabriel was send to destroy the children of fornication,
by inciting them to their own self destructive sensation.
The great flood suppose to wipe out false prophecies,
the false spirit of unrest to proof powers tragedies.
Given them an everlasting station to be in consumed,
never to obtain peace and remission in sin confused.
Every act of blasphemy, tyranny and manipulation,
will be the righteous discloser into life eternal.
These angels and followers are no longer to rise,
to the realms of heaven and purities of eyes.
Demons who wander about the riches of the world,
confirming their manner of life to be adored.
They worshipping beauty and glory that fades,
calling murder the most intimate act it mates.
The doom by their pleasure in sensual stimulation,
riotous and rancorous living inhalation.
A shroud upon our life and good people’s nature,
when worthless currency is given in exchange of labor.
The watchers eroding our planet for so long,
and if they could every soul to capture lifelong.
The system manipulates the food to stabilize sickness,
giving health department richness.
The love of money rooted in pride and lust,
vices that feeds the sexual prowess must.
Defying the Almighty by abuse the sacred law,
inferiorities and boosting one selves by every awe.
Life in itself needs to become a scripture of a kindled soul,
giving in love is far beyond all perception as whole.
All my darkest thoughts, the heaviness of my heart,
Taught me that, through love,
It would be Jesus, and God above,
Who would always be with me, forever the part…
Of my life, that would bring me so much peace,
Silencing the doubts and the grief,
Giving my soul such sweet relief,
Oh, my, His miracles and wonders never cease!
All my doubts and fears would soon be gone,
Leaving my spirit so that I could sing my song,
Letting me know – Jesus is never wrong.
His love, such love – He’s the SON to which I’m drawn.
Wherever I go, I hope others can see…
The gentle in this heart who just believes,
He is always with me – He never leaves,
And, because I know Him, I’m truly free!
All my reasons for giving up and giving in,
Remind me that love is still alive and well.
And, love, my friend, will forever compel…
to remember the One who lives within!
Transition
It is a day of transition
as summer heat has died
and the leaves of autumn hold position
beginning to release the summer ties.
Mid October on the dot
as near and distant trees begin to alter hues
painting yellows and orange brown spots
to match green red purples becoming blues.
In the stir softly rises from the life below
scented burning oak and apple wood
with embers alighting bright campfire glows
burning with embracing warmth where the trees once stood.
The sky draws closer as the blue transforms
to dark sprawling gray robed clouds
harbingers of a newly predicted storm
as cold drops of rain fall from their shrouds.
A brief, quiet stillness creeps along the pines
slithering in anticipation of being unbound
and leaves patiently await the winds of time
to find their rest upon the ground.
They catch the breeze and ride the air
a seasonal journey begins again
touching here and floating there
and the earth gently heaves a sigh of pain.
Earth rises from the cold without
drawing up and down to a desired rest.
Creatures, birds and plants no longer doubt
that change will always puts us to the test.
Nature sighs with every windy breath
knowing all things pass away
and the unknown fear of death
forces us to cling to one more day.
This world exists forever in transition
never able to remain the same
eventually giving in, accepting changes to inner cognition
that in the end, nothing is abstained.
To see the illusions of the futures yet unborn
living, now, that alone is enduring and real
nothing grows to its completion without thorns
and life does not return to where it was, despite the zeal.
Seasons leave and come again,
Spring, Summer, Autumn Fall and Winter
and each is its own conductor of the train
holding time in place, forever in transitions splinter.
Days have been dark,
Times when depression struck,
Finding myself lost in sorrow
Not knowing, if I would live till tomorrow.
What if, I died today?
Would you still think of me everyday?
If tomorrow never comes,
Would you still remember my love for you?
It seems like my road narrowing daily,
Losing myself has become a norm.
My heart has become a ticking bomb
Yet my heart still longs for your love
I feel like giving in,
Every night and day I get weak.
Wishing you were next to me to bid goodbye.
Maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe it is true
I'm here waiting for you, to light my way.
For everyday it gets darker and harder,
With no sign of peace coming my way,
I wait, strongly believing that you will come
As my body gets cold and dim.
Hope escaping as every minute goes by.
I gaze at the stars, with nothing not even faith
As I take my last breath, I wish you a goodbye
How they haunt my days and nights,
In my sleep they watch me…
In my days they follow me…
In quiet times I see them,
And I can feel her love surrounding me still.
I look at them and see the myriad emotions
Of a life spent together.
A love lived to its fullest.
A longing that is forever.
Of lost tomorrows that will never be.
Emerald pools of passion’s fire.
Loving life…
Loving me…
Loving our dreams of tomorrow…
Visions of a future that will never be.
Jade ice in the hard times of life.
Meeting trials,
Facing hard times,
Never giving in;
A strength to see us through together.
The love I saw through our life together,
I see even now.
No matter where life takes me,
I know she’s still watching,
Her eyes of love will watch over me forever.
I believe…
He is wise – He is strong
He knows my heart and my soul
He’ll love me my whole lifelong
His light shining down makes me whole
He is joy and He is peace
He abides in love and inspires hope
His eternal kindness will never cease
He brings comfort so I can cope
He is life – He is truth
His word provides solutions
He assured me in my youth
He whispers faithful contributions
He is the prayer that I never prayed
Giving me promises through grace
He inspires courage that won’t dissuade
His gifts are eternal – heaven’s embrace
He is the promise that I’ll never break
He opens His palm and there I stand
Inside His hand is where I will awake
Whenever dreams aren’t what I planned
He is my life – He abides in my prayers
Forever generous with His gentle smile
He eases my fears and wipes away tears
Silences my doubts – goes the extra mile
He is the reason that I know what it means
To breathe in forgiveness – exhale mercy
With a God so amazing, there are no in-betweens
No doubts or fears, no worry or controversy
With a God this good, there is no giving in
To the disillusionment, despair – shadows
With Him, there is a light that destroys sin
Relieves and reassures in hues that enclose…
Heart and soul – in the promise of a love
That is alive – shining down from above!
What I believe Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Angela Tune
December 8, 2022
I wrote something a while ago
I was mad that you were back
But now I feel myself letting go
It's all numb and the anger I lack
I am giving in to you again
Hold my writes out
And let you tie them
"Why can't you just figure this out"
The thought sparks in my head
And stabs through my heart
The glass shatters and all I see is red
"You can never just face the bad part"
Always need someone to carry you
Never strong enough to just make it through
Weak broken and alone
That's all you will ever be
You beg them so an ear they will loan
You are a burden and add to a load heavy already
I always go back to you
Because it's easier than doing the real 'work'
The idea tempts and I go through
You clouded my thoughts with your senseless murk