Long Gasket Poems
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Ironic!
Greta Thunberg
attacked...
mocked by POTUS
Quite baffling he tells...
her to "Chill!"
Huh? Says...
the same man
who blows
a gasket
on twitter
every single day?
Now he bullies a teen?
Sad
Hypocritical
(Yalto)
Date written: 12/12/2019
Note: Greta Thunberg is a 16-year old Swedish environmental activist recently named "Time magazine's 2019 Person of the Year". A title not sitting well with POTUS, so he slams her out of jealousy? It's easy to see my frustration with this write. I find this very unacceptable. Even the most ardent of POTUS supporter that I know didn't like this.
Once we were a matching pair, some days we’d get downbeat
as we both couldn't abide the stench of sweaty cheesy feet!
Our male owner would pop us in the washing machine
with warm soapy suds we’d soon smell fresh and clean
But now my ‘sole mate’ has gone missing and I am bereft
I was worn on the right foot, and he was worn on the left
Our owner removed the washing machine gasket
then checked the tumble drier and laundry basket
Alas my companion is still missing, life just isn’t fair
a single sock is useless, and I’m filled with despair
So my owner’s sock stock has now been depleted
and with my partner gone I’m feeling de-feeted!
What use is one sock, maybe one day I’ll be ‘heeled’
if the sock monster’s secret stash is suddenly revealed!
So for now I am consigned to the back of a drawer
with other odd socks and I'm sure there’ll be lots more!
63VW Bug Domed Home
$300 Empty Wallet,
Waved in Greeting Others "Bugged",
DIY Toolin' Schoolin',
Leakin' Carb Fixit,
Installed & Tighten',
Fired Her Up & Look It,
Engine Lit & Smokin',
Act Fast, Shut Down Fit,
Back to Wrenchin',
Leakin' Porous Gasket,
Déjà Vous Installin',
Finally Fuelin', No Casket,
Then Brakes Not Willin',
Free Fall Down Hill Drastic,
Frantically Emergency Leverin',
Arrived at Bottom Intact,
Sigh of Relief Breathin',
Heat from Engine Extract,
Smelled of Gasolin',
Either Sweatin' or Shiverin' Fact,
What Next? Wheel Fallin'!,
Balancing Acrobat Act,
Shoulder Oasis Seekin',
Rewheel Lug Tightin' Enact,
Pulled Into Shell Station,
One Lookover & Mechanic,
Hung Sign "Dangerous Caution",
"Too Hazardous, Inevitable Panic",
"Stay Off Road, Public Hazard if Run",
Starvin' Student, So "What the Heck?",
Drove Bug 3 More Years, An Eon!,
Careful for the Sake of Pilotin' a Wreck.
Now Can Laugh, I & Others Were Spared Extinction!
Next a Mercedes Diesel 200D Precision but Air Dreck,
Follies of Youth: Survived & Shunned, Relieved Everyone!
They are forming clusters in the sky, and you cannot see them with your naked eyes you have to consult the giant telescope and go deep sea fishing in a construction boat, and when the wind hits your back you must zoom in everything from the top and the clusters will stare back at you.
Have I ever missed your point, I can see through every joint, the nozzle and the funnel are blocked up with grease and you need a fan to release the heat.
The fanbelt is worn out and the fan is clogged up with dirt, examine the battery terminal carefully and you will see what is going on at the top.
There is a big crack between the gaps, and lugs are bent at the end, the battery cannot hold the charge and that is why the engine takes long to turn and it always shutting down. The battery is very old, and you must take it to the junkyard and replace it with a new one.
I stand in the yard and watch him sweat over the old car, the car is shutting down and it’s the only vehicle he has to take him around the town. He takes it to the shop, but they took all the money he has got and the next day it leaves him stranded on the road.
He try to fix it himself but it absorbs all his energy, and it makes you really feel sorry. Yesterday he rolled down the street and in seconds the tire burst causing a huge explosion in the center of the town. The people start running and the dogs start barking and a big commotion breaks out in middle ground.
He put on a spare tire and hurry to take his wife to the doctor but halfway through the journey the gasket burst spilling grease all over the place, but help was near, and the roadside job was cleared.
Have I ever missed your point? Every meeting you go I have always stood up for you when the bullies come charging at you. I form a wedge between the wall and you and prevent them from hurting you. I have sealed up all the holes and patch up the place and completed the document before the expiration date.
There is cluster around you, and the gigantic whale is waiting for you. I have invested more than a billion dollars in them, and they will parachute towards the heaven. They are on the ground and in the air and they are coming over there. The clusters are everywhere, and you must prepare.
How to describe love, well I'll give it a shot
Like your first two wheeler, that's saying a lot
Like your very first ride on a ferris wheel
An absolute thrill couldn't believe it's was real
Suddenly that annoying girl next door
Creates a stirring right down to your core
When wrestling with her she was one of the guys
Now its different when you look into her eyes
Her lips seem more lush and inviting now
Think I just blew a gasket, holy cow
Oh those were the days as if it was yesterday
The feeling still there but it's now just wordplay
Maybe I'll come back when my days are done
As a gigolo, yee haw, that sure sounds like fun!
This is a fourteen point check list
For when you buy a car
First question you should ask
Does it have full service history or part
The next important question
Has the Cam belt ever been changed
And do you have any receipts
To show me when it was arranged
Check for codes and errors
Held in the ECU
It may be clean and tidy
But they might be hiding a few
Now check that clutch
For usual wear and tear
Is it riding at the top
If so you should be aware
Check the oil, fuel and water
For any kind of leaks
Cause this could cost more money
And leave your pockets empty
Check all the fluid levels
Make sure there all topped up
It’s a sign that it’s been looked after
By the seller you’re buying it off
An early head gasket failure
Could cost more than the car is worth
So open up that oil cap
And check for creamy stuff
Listen to that engine
Make sure there’s no strange tunes
Check that steering properly
The brakes and all the tubes
Listen for failed wheel bearings
You will hear a whirling noise
If one of these is wearing
It aggravates and annoys
Check for too much smoke
And the exhaust while you can
Because MOT emissions
Are getting stricter with their plans
Have a visual check of course
Of the outside of the motor
Last but least test all the lights
And never let them chauffeur
Take a friend or mechanic
And look for signs of damage
Be wise and look up a guiding price
Make sure the vehicles within those sights
Hpi check is always satisfation
It may cost you a little more
But its very instant action
© Copyright KC.Leake
2nd October 2015
All rights Reserved
Once upon a time I could change the oil and give the car a lube,
Tune the timing, change the plugs and patch an inner tube.
In days of yore I'd do simple jobs beneath the old elm tree.
Nowadays, I daren't twist a wrench without an engineer's degree!
In olden days things were simple to work on beneath the hood.
Stuff crammed under the hoods today is not at all understood!
Why! You must pull the doggone engine to fix a simple leak,
And everything is diagnosed by a smart-alecky computer geek!
Now I can't even locate the spark plugs, I must humbly confess,
And where the life-sustaining battery reposes is anybody's guess!
I must even contact the local garage to get the radiator filled.
'Tis plain to see that all is governed by the national mechanic's guild!
In simpler times the way to detect an errant rod and piston knock,
Was to put a screwdriver to your ear and listen through the block.
Nowadays, technicians lounge about with computers in their paws,
And in a trice can flesh out your automobile's ailing flaws!
Back then, I could replace brake linings and distributor caps,
Change a fan belt or replace a gasket or two perhaps.
But all these fancy gadgets are beyond me - I can't figure them out.
So I'll gnash my teeth and sit beneath the spreading elm and pout!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Starts as a weep
A subtle slice through the silence
Tiny drops fall quiet and steady
All day all night no bother at all
Th journey of each drop
From sky to land
From reservoir to tap
The crisp fresh water flows
Breaking through the rubber gasket
Drip drip
Seeping down walls to windows
Shelves to floors
The slow unrelenting drip
Steady as a metronome
Consumes every second with metallic clinking
A tainted brown as it eats seals
Every drop speeds up
A click like a clock
Tiny drops turn to big drops
Holding back that torrent
A background noise turns loud
The mental torture of hearing a constant tapping
One turn of tap releases the pressure
Insanity reaching its peak
Before the inevitable flood
One action or moment can calm this
Women Bartender Parties
Their eyes watched
the bartender,
like a tennis ball,
volleying to each side,
bouncing, soft like
from side to side
of the bar, filling drinks
and old men's hearts
with wet dreams,
prompting the men
on gathering closer
to the campfire.
She was hot.
Their necks stretched,
minds made pseudo
claims, and mouths watered
of her effect.
She was young and new,
and too studious.
A librarian by day,
layers of academia,
flowing through her veins-
you could see that
she was smart, yet sassy.
There was no hiding, though,
the biker girl behind
those glasses, hair
in a bun, and brass demeanor.
She made sashay look
pedestrian.
She could compete with
a New York model
with her providence,
long arms and legs,
and a longer neck,
that likely sprung
a gasket in her admirers.
Would she lie?
When she gained wind
of whispering old men,
poking the shortness
of her denim shorts
she tickled their fancies.
"Is my vagina sticking out,"
as she checked her shorts,
innocence oozing from her
and sending old men's
watering hole to rise.
She was a frolicking horse
that put all the other
bar's bartenders to pasture.
She continued pouring
drinks, like how pouring rain-
rescues drought stricken
crops. She had that effect.
When she saddled next
to an old man, lucky one
at that, her gray eyes
boring into his browns,
as they split the night air
into little gifts,
exchanging presents
of knowledge of each other,
you could see his horses
neighing, too, nudging
to get out of the stables.
Did she say she was writing
a book?
He doesn't remember.
He remembers
seeing a moon flower.
She continued serving rain,
while the jukebox played
and the patrons swayed,
exchanging banter with each.
Moments later she did
the unthinkable-no
it wasn't a red scarlet.
Or connotative.
She drank, which is taboo,
matching shots of Royal,
three, with the old man,
while not missing a beat,
holding her liquor well,
and turning back his hands
............. of time.
connie pachecho
4/20/17
Not everyone's enamoured by my humour
At risk of my head being bopped
Say things in jest that are taken as serious
Chancing a punch in the chops
Like when I once said to a very large lady
Pressing two in the up elevator
“That's just one floor, you coulda walked!”
Almost ended up on the floor
Another time down in Old Cape Cod
In a store getting out of the sun
A lady knocked over a large display stand
Yelled “Now look what you've done!”
Dear Cathie turned ten shades of purple
She was just about to blow a gasket
However, luckily cooler heads prevailed
Considered myself quite fortunate
“Look before you leap” as the saying goes
Often insert my foot in my mouth
Runs the risk of hard blows to the head
And injury to my parts down south
© Jack Ellison 2013