Long Gasket Poems

Destiny doth accompany, deliver, inveigle America...

Smartly, squarely, summarily into
pall bearing sized hands Helena Handbasket
adorned with Aconite (Monkshood) atop casket
signaling demise, née sealing freedom
(of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness) fate
with eternal bondage super glued gasket.

I...

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TRUMP POEMS AND EPIGRAMS II

Quite Con-trary
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Trumpy, Trumpy,
fat, balding and lumpy,
how does your Rose Garden grow?
“With venom and spleen
and everything mean,
and my gasket about to blow!”

Trumpy, Trumpy,
obese and dumpy,
why...

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Fifty years of bustin’ ass, I never had a dime,
If I had any balls at all, I’d’ve chose a life of crime;

I never owned a brand new truck, a flat TV or yacht,
I figured I...

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"Each experience is locked within my heart and only I hold the key..."



There was a time when Jess was young, that we thought we were going to lose him.
It all started with recurring headaches he...

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He is cranking up the old rusty engine again, but all that work is in vain, sweat is running from his anxious face and grease is spilling all over the place. There he goes again...

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They are forming clusters in the sky, and you cannot see them with your naked eyes you have to consult the giant telescope and go deep sea fishing in a construction boat, and when the...

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Women Bartender Parties 

Their eyes watched 
the bartender,
like a tennis ball, 
volleying to each side, 
bouncing, soft like 
from side to side 
of the bar, filling drinks
and old men's hearts
with wet dreams,
prompting the men 
on...

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An Echo Poem by Lora Colon and Brian Johnston

I Do It For My Heart by Lora Colon

Each morning my heart and I talk, 
It asks me why he went away, 
Like a child that can't...

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There ain’t never been much love ‘twixt them two out on the range—
Seems cowmen has always thought that them sheepherders were strange.

Then one day in rides a poke by the name of Tom Campbell—
What’s lookin’...

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This is a fourteen point check list
For when you buy a car
First question you should ask
Does it have full service history or part
The next important question
Has the Cam belt ever been changed
And do you have...

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We were kids, we had our squabbles 
I'd have a fit, and run to tattle
A few disputes, a fib, a shout
Until mom would come to sort it out

Untangling kids she'd gladly strangle...
She'd send us off,...

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Hosed Again!
By Tom
8/1/2006

The water flows quickly through my 5/8’s hose
Seeking passage as raindrops or even fine spray.
Till it gets to the nozzle which I quickly close
For I control the output, same as every other day.

Having...

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I must say that in my four score years I've done it all and seen it all,
But in the autumn of my life, noxious noises drive me up the wall!
I like the soothing sound of...

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Once upon a time I could change the oil and give the car a lube,
Tune the timing, change the plugs and patch an inner tube.
In days of yore I'd do simple jobs beneath the old...

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Backyard Mechanic
by Bob Moore © 2019

I’m a guy of the ‘60’s and ‘70’s, a Ford man, or a Holden or two
we didn’t bother with garages, if the car broke, we knew what to do
We only...

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I observe the sway of the grass
In moments I'm feeling crass

An identity may be found at the rainbow
But how would I ever really know

Imprisoned by gnarled branches so strong
I wonder how it all went so...

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When I was teenboy, nothing else mattered
Than making out in the back of a Chevy
With a gorgeous young hottie with boobs to die for
Breathing became rather heavy

Now I'll try to behave coz the censors are...

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A sudden burden of flipping turns him into a fraction /
Action of correction in your cranium needs traction /
Bad habits all erratic need retracted to leave the bad flabbergasted /
Dad’s had it with blabber half...

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All Because of a Basket

I have a bonnie  blue basket
Which was stolen to put in a casket
I searched high and low
Came back from the show
And promptly blew a gasket

Now I'm the one in the...

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63VW Bug Domed Home
$300 Empty Wallet,
Waved in Greeting Others "Bugged",
DIY Toolin' Schoolin',
Leakin' Carb Fixit,
Installed & Tighten',
Fired Her Up & Look It,
Engine Lit & Smokin',
Act Fast, Shut Down Fit,
Back to Wrenchin',
Leakin' Porous Gasket,
Déjà Vous Installin',
Finally Fuelin',...

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It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open
Don't try it, you might blow a gasket
There's a bunch of other stuff you should know
Before they put you in a casket

Greece's anthem has over a hundred verses
The...

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It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open
Don't try it, you might blow a gasket
There's a bunch of other stuff you should know
Before they put you in a casket

Greece's anthem has over a hundred verses
The...

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Here stands a man who's just about to blow a gasket,
he has far too much washing in his basket,
he never asked for such a load,
and he feels it's time to hit the road,
before he does...

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Once we were a matching pair, some days we’d get downbeat
as we both couldn't abide the stench of sweaty cheesy feet!

Our male owner would pop us in the washing machine
with warm soapy suds we’d soon...

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Oops!

In our backyard five apple trees abide - harvest of red, yellow, green fruit our pride
Bushels of fruit overflow from their baskets - looks like nature this year blew a gasket.

Way too many apples for...

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