Long Funnychange Poems
Long Funnychange Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnychange by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnychange poems by poem length and keyword.
Once upon a time I could change the oil and give the car a lube,
Tune the timing, change the plugs and patch an inner tube.
In days of yore I'd do simple jobs beneath the old elm tree.
Nowadays, I daren't twist a wrench without an engineer's degree!
In olden days things were simple to work on beneath the hood.
Stuff crammed under the hoods today is not at all understood!
Why! You must pull the doggone engine to fix a simple leak,
And everything is diagnosed by a smart-alecky computer geek!
Now I can't even locate the spark plugs, I must humbly confess,
And where the life-sustaining battery reposes is anybody's guess!
I must even contact the local garage to get the radiator filled.
'Tis plain to see that all is governed by the national mechanic's guild!
In simpler times the way to detect an errant rod and piston knock,
Was to put a screwdriver to your ear and listen through the block.
Nowadays, technicians lounge about with computers in their paws,
And in a trice can flesh out your automobile's ailing flaws!
Back then, I could replace brake linings and distributor caps,
Change a fan belt or replace a gasket or two perhaps.
But all these fancy gadgets are beyond me - I can't figure them out.
So I'll gnash my teeth and sit beneath the spreading elm and pout!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
If I could journey back in time,
What would I change in my life?
I have two lovely children,
So I guess I’ll just change the wife.
Then I would go back in time,
To a point when I was young.
And kick the bugger’s ****,
For the times he failed instead of won.
I’ll tell him that I’m the devil,
And if I catch him drinking and smoking.
Hell is a fiery place where he will dell,
And kick his **** to show I’m not joking.
I’ll install the bible doctrine in him
And give him the foundation as a starter pack
Then I’ll nip back in time now and then
And kick his **** to keep him on track
Hopefully I will turn out well
A better Christian than what I’m now
For if I don’t then I’ll go back
And kick his **** and that is my vow.