Long Funnynight Poems
Long Funnynight Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnynight by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnynight poems by poem length and keyword.
Twas the night before my cousin's
wedding
He reluctantly gave in to the
bachelor party vetting
A burlesque, tawdry strip club was
the setting
Unbeknownst to him, the bridesmaid
was his appetite whetting
With gratuitous lap dance, began
the ribald feting
In drunken stupor, the enamored
groom his fealty forgetting
Released his inhibitions all of his
clingy garments shedding
Strode platform, in sync with
bridesmaids erotic moves duetting
In tantric rhapsody, she released
pheromones his testosterone
subletting
Enraptured with his riposte jaunts,
her matrimonial bond shredding
The enamored bridesmaid with lust
his bare essentials began petting
His betrothed parts to her
dominatrix will indebting
As the groom climaxed, his phallus
got entangled in her fish netting
Two truant souls now writhing;
spent body parts bloodletting
Dislodging their carnal chains, into
frothy night jetting
To hotel that lodged devoted bride;
their remaining passions bedding
Lurid, tawdry tryst not regretting;
but o'er bawdy exhibition sweating
Wedding contest
September 14, 2012
I'm relaxin' with my spouse this New Year's Eve just a-schmoozin',
About past celebrations in our youth that we now find amusin'.
Tomorrow we'll dine on blackeyed peas, an old Southern tradition,
For good luck and bring our hopeful resolutions to fruition!
A moderate tad of spirits in our youth we could tolerate,
And ere the kids arrived, we always slept a little late.
We used to go to late night parties and sip a little booze.
Now, on New Year's Eve, we sit at home and watch the news!
We used to dance the night away at parties bright and gay.
Now, we compare infirmities as others while the night away!
The champagne corks popped and "Auld Lang Syne" we sang.
Fireworks brought in the New Year with a resounding bang!
We recall the silly hats we wore, kisses at the stroke of twelve,
And the heaps of scrumptious grub in which we used to delve.
Now, we sip Metamucil cocktails with sour cream dip and chips,
Slumped in our recliners, snores escapin' from our lips!
Strange that in the olden days we could celebrate 'til dawn,
But by nine o'clock nowadays we can hardly stifle a yawn!
As the clock chimes twelve, I'll leave it for others to celebrate,
'Cept for eatin' blackeyed peas and 'pone to facilitate my fate!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
One night while i was driving,
and heading back to town.
Something jumped from nowhere,
Good Lord i knocked it down.
I got out of my car
my nerves were in a scare,
then to my surprise
there lay a great big Hare!
His breathing it was shallow
so i put him in my car,
at least he was alive
my home was not to far.
at last i reached my house
i carried him inside.
I laid down Mr Hare
his eyes they opened wide..
at first he seemed upset
but then he settled down,
heartbeat back to normal
at last i lost my frown.
But i had plans that night
a night out with some girls
and here i was quite trapped,
left dreaming of my thrills!
My lodger was quite dirty
covered in brown mud,
bit"s of grass adorned him
he was heading for my tub!
Never mind a Vet
for he was fit and well
after bumping into him
i knew that he"d be swell.
Just then the phone did ring
"Oh when you coming down?"
"I can"t". I just replied,
all be it with a frown.
My girlfriends were not happy
i knew them oh so well,
so i told a big white lie
the one that we all tell.
"For i am running oh so late,
the next time oh i swear,
for i have such a bit to do,
i"ve still to wash my Hare!"