Long For the first time Poems
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Thank you so much for your honesty friend. I paused and took some time with your
statements to me to ponder on it. Yes I have these problems that are always rising up
within me from time to time. The truth is I believe that I need all the help that I can
get. Because my soul is tortured as well by them. I'm glad you were patient enough to read
anyway. Takes a lot of strength and courage to be as honest as you have been, I appreciate
it. It reminded me, that relying on myself alone, and remaining alone with these things
makes it all the more harder for me to remain honest with myself. As you have so plainly
been with me so again I thank you. I just get so afraid sometimes to be this way. But I
feel that honestly it is a true strength that you have. You I feel are truly blessed.
Gifted with this boldness of heart. You carry it well. I feel it is the most precious and
there is no truer strength lying within you. If I were you, well I would feel blessed and
encouraged by it truly... . As for what was stated in the writing it was for me a simple
message.
Though I can tell you myself it made my belly uncomfortable too. When I heard... saw it
for myself for the first time. Made me cry... . Because I truly don't want myself to feel
it anymore than is necessary, being reminded today what it truly means to be like this. As
I considered and still keep trying to grow to know through it how I have in turn been
brought to yield it myself every time I saw for myself my own hate. You know it makes me
more and even more afraid. Because I've been like this in one form or the other my whole
life. I probably always will be without some help, I figure that when I heard this message
first, it rose within me in this greater form. I didn't like it either at all. Made me run
to something more though and today I am feeling a little, sometimes quite better the more
I am moved away from it. Because I also found that for myself, I wanted more than just
this hate and living alone with it. And through hearing the truth of it, I knew that I
alone could not stop it from rising up from within me... .
Because I don't truly enjoy feeling sick to my tummy like this. It has been for me this
way for a long time and I am finding that it can in its reality surely kill me, because
for myself I let it consume me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnKoAEs65Pg
Bridgett Faerie leapt from the flames with a pop and a fizzle
Delighting her elemental dad, Hellfire, wielder of the flame
Her mother gave her the power to make leaves dance
Her purpose not apparent yet, but she was magnificent.
Hair in shades of copper we did not know had been invented.
She stood on the tallest log and stared us down, Then she flew.
New faeries can hardly ever fly. We gasped.
"Forty-one years since I saw a first day flyer,"
one of the elderly brownies whispered.
Bridgett landed next to her.
"Hi!" she said. The whole council laughed.
"She is precocious," one of the faeries said.
Bridgett turned.
I saw her face for the first time;
oval with laughing caramel eyes.
Her nose was a tiny ski slope, a tiny lift at the end. She wrinkled it.
"Where are the leaves?" she demanded. "I want to get started."
Even Hellfire was astounded; he had six daughters but not this one
Until today. She would be a force to be honored and revered.
Her snotty sisters began to make fun of her,
pretending non-jealousy.
Hellfire gave them a look and there was instant silence.
"Are those my SISTERS?" Bridgett shrieked with delight.
She flew over and hugged every one of them. Then she flew away.
How could someone with such tiny feet be so assertive?
No fairy had ever started working on their birthday before today.
Oak tree leaves began floating down into the fire.
The fire popped and crackled faster and faster.
"I love this job!" Bridgett yelled from a branch forty feet up.
Hellfire looked frightened for the first time.
He had never had a daughter who was more like his wife.
His wife flew past him to help her daughter.
That rarely happens on birthing day either.
"A mini-me-of-Enthusiasm Faerie!" someone said.
Others cheered. Someone clapped Hellfire on the back.
"Now there are two of them, he said."Good luck!"
Bridgett's twin sister Brewit popped out of the flames next.
"Surprise!" She yelled. "There are two of us Daddy!"
Hellfire's mouth dropped open. He had felt outnumbered before.
But never suffered anything like this. Brewit gave him a big hug.
Then she flew up with to join her mother and her sister.
A wonderful day in the woods, one we have never forgotten
Although that was twenty-seven years ago.
The story has been told thousands of times.
And put into the imaginations of many. Their purpose: Joy.
When my eyes met his,
Met his, for the first time
I could discern a ray of
incensed passion and love
intense, so I thought, piercing
gently my heart and filling it
with true love, so I thought;
so thinking, I surrendered
myself to him, like a fool
only to allow him to have
all liberties with me and freely
play the game of love, for I
thought without doubting
even a wee bit that he would
remain, my man of love, and
ever so till we live ..............
Love's true devotee to one another
But oh ! how will I, say that now
he chided me today, for no reason or rhyme
and in a fit of anger, said he loved me no more
and left me, deserting me all at once;
I remained in great shock thereafter
God knows for how long, till
I came to my sense to, realize
that I was cheated by the very man
whom I thought was Eros and me his Venus,
All these thoughts suddenly vanished
vanished into thin air
And I lie here, under the tree I met him
for the first time, writhing in pain inconsolable
And now see the very ray of hope that he shot
at me when our eyes first met, piercing my
heart, shattering it, emptying it of the nectar of love
I thought it poured in first.
And I now remain emancipated from this love false
realizing at last the meaning of true love
from this experience so bitter
bitten by pangs of false love and deceit
of a man whom I reckoned wrongly
was going to be my Eros in life.
oh women harping love
please beware of men
who wander for lust
wandering as foxes
in the robe of deer.
True Christmas Miracle True Story Full version written by Wendy Horder. 2020
Huddled in muddy trenches, the soldiers heard an eerie sound.
Troops were English, French & Belgians, and as they looked around,
The sound was coming from the German enemy lines just 50 yards away.
It was singing, and the German soldiers were approaching on that day.
It was the twenty fourth of December nineteen fourteen.
Between France and Belgium, The Western Front, was the scene.
As Germans left their trenches a cry of “Merry Christmas” could be heard.
Our solders could only watch without saying, even one word.
The German solders looked so jovial, it didn’t seem to be a trick,
Our soldiers hesitated, slowly coming out, their actions were not quick.
Soon they were striding up to the oncoming soldiers, accepting their invite.
The beautiful singing drew them in, even though they feared it wasn’t right.
There was laughing and joking, and they all exchanged gifts sent from home.
Seemed all men were the same, didn’t matter from where they roam.
They smoked and showed each other photos of their children & wives.
For a short time, they were comrades not one bit afraid for their lives.
As night fell, drowned in soft moonlight, German carols filled the air.
For the first time since the war began, each soldier felt comfort there.
Laughter resounded, and the allies began O Come All Ye Faithful, in tune.
Germans sang the same Hymn, in Latin Adeste Fideles, under the moon.
I wonder if it crossed their minds “Just what are we fighting for?”
How extraordinary, enemies singing together a carol in the middle of a war.
By morning gifts of cake, smokes and clothes were exchanged by each side.
Men chatting as a magician and a juggler were enjoyed, with eyes open wide.
A barber in civilian life, gave haircuts. Soldiers had notes they addressed,
Hoping to be taken to their loved ones in France and England in the west.
Soccer broke out. The game went hours, that history making Christmas day.
Soldiers on both sides spent time burying their comrades, to their dismay.
Soldiers who had been killed in fighting that preceded that wonderful truce.
A truce that should be an example of what we humans can willingly produce.
A true show, that men aren’t killing machines, everyone, a husband or a son.
A true Christmas Miracle from the bloody chapters of World War One.
Judgement day is every day when you're trying to survive in a decent way. Clean up your life and move away, to a new playground for the kids to play. It's an Oreo cookie way of life, broader than black and white. Trying to break to the surface to see the light, but you keep getting suppressed.. it takes all your fight.
Drop out came a long way.. From counting stacks of 3 to a GED. On the outside mamma's so proud of me. But inside she's scared she don't want to see me take another fall, slip up and lose it all. X'ed up, punching holes in the wall. She's cautious for my life, she cries: "I wish you could see it through my eyes".
Accidentally got caught up in the game and chase again. Never had let go, the past was still holding onto my hand. Slowly takes over, but you keep it undercover. Keep it on the low, thinking nobody's going to know. But somehow I stayed on top of it. Only slinging and drugging on the weekends and ****. Got through my Friday and played on payday. Dedicated worker specialized in crazy.
Then one I day my end started to begin. I changed my life and I traded it in.. For a camouflage uniform that covered the scars on my skin. I ended up losing my freedom, tied down with conflicting feelings. Gun in my hand, I was told to defend, the pain and the hell that I had abandoned. The bad guy in trusted boots, ripped myself from my roots. I planted my self far from the town I was raised in.
Kind of felt like I was betraying there trust, leaving my love for a life that's lust.
But then again.. I finally felt filled inside, alive. Maybe there was a reason I looked at my past, and wanted to run and hide. No longer scraping dough to get high. Now I see it again, that pride. The sparkle in mamma's eye. And for the first time it ain't a tear from fear. Can't plan ahead a god damn year. Now she has hope instead of dread, from that knock on the door saying: "Your little girl's dead."
I opened my eyes and I stopped listening. Closed my ears to the phrases of hustlers. "Act classy, you're a lady" was all they could muster. How did they think ladies could survive in these streets? Double standards of life, a game you'll never beat.
I lived how I wanted, they said it was no place for a girl. But once I shared what I had, it became our world. I found the "I" in family, once the pain killers got a hold of me. They kill the pain but bring the misery.
I try to fight them, those cruel clawing cold hands
that drag me from the pit, clawing, twisting, crushing me.
I must find you! I need to hold you, to be held by you!
So I fight, desperately, to break free, to find you.
I try to fight them, even as the feel of the ropes upon my arms
burning ever deeper, into my skin
. I fight desperately, as the leather collar bites into my throat,
and my breath leaves me. I try to fight, savagely, desperately, to break free.
Knowing I can never escape, that I will fail,
and knowing full well, what fate awaits us both.
I know not where they have taken you, but I can still feel you,
can still hear your voice, as it softly speaks of love.
, It is how I know you are still alive,
and that knowledge gives me strength to fight on desperately.
My body is ravaged, torn, the horrors those cruel hands have dealt, have broken my very soul,
yet I try, desperately to fight. I long for release into the void,
yet I can still feel you, still hear your voice, still know your love.
I know not, where they will take me, until the wagon comes to a stop.
Then, for the first time in almost 16 days, your eyes are the first thing I see.
You are alive, and when your eyes finally find mine, you look with such love, at me.
So again, I fight! I fight so desperately, but those, horrible cruel hands,
tighten their vicious grip, once more.
I reach for you, needing your touch, sobbing your name.
The pain, almost forgotten, gone, almost instantly. I struggle, oh, how I fight!
And so, I didn’t see. I didn’t see the first of the blows, that spilled crimson onto the snow,
at my feet. I screamed for you. I screamed your name desperately
as I watched blow after blow rip your body to pieces, in front of me. Your blood turning the snow to slush, scarlet staining my feet. I watched your soul flee as I screamed for you,
as the fight poured out of me. I watched, as they defiled you.
I watched as they ripped your body apart. I felt your soul leave mine.
I watched, as the light of the sunrise left your eyes.
My soul broken, my body savaged, I crumbled to ashes, there in the snow, at your side.
The numbness that overtook me, did nothing to save me, that day. I can still taste your blood.
Goddess above, I still taste your blood! No, More!
No longer, will I bear this well of horror, and tears!
Goddess, help me! I am drowning in it!
"The Union"
You lift me up when I have no strength
When I feel things are too rough
Today tomorrow and forever you go the extra length
Because of you I've been given a chance to be tough
In your arms you show me true love
As a symbol of security you've become my dove
You've taught me in all things we will cling to hope
The reason I don't need to get scared when I feel I'm at the end of my rope
In the moments I feel things aren't fair or just
You've taught me to believe in the two of us I must
It's protection and security when we are joined together
That things go from heavy as a rock to light as a feather
You're there through the worst the unsure and the best
And united together we are a force that stands every test
Through every minute hour and second that time seems to stand still and freeze
You make the whispers of the wind give a refreshing calm breeze
I find myself assured that with you as we hold hands we are one like a strong lock
Your love I know has been my rock
I know time no longer stands still as we become united together as one
As God our heavenly Father says my children my work has been done
Joining hand in hand two hearts become one and I proudly say our lives have begun
The race to the finish line we are determined to run
As the world meets for the first time Mr. and Mrs. McGee
I'm humbled to say that lucky bride will be me
We will take this world by storm through the example of faith we walk
Through honest communication we glide like the beauty of a hawk
It's a privilege and a gift to know that you're going to be my husband
But you're more than just that you're my inspiration
And as we exchange vows that we've had since our first day together we promise
To be all that each other needs, wants, and ever could dream or imagine
Thanks to hard work discipline and remaining determined
As our prayers were heard and answered the Lord said we were forever destined
In honor of all he had in mind for us we will be strong and evolve to make our future ours for the making
In awe of everything yet to come I promise to give you all I have and all that I am
Before you God and our family we stand, joined hand in hand
Celebrating our union today tomorrow and for eternity
Congratulations to husband and wife, we are presented with a bonding kiss
Mr. and Mrs. John McGee
I love you John McGee
My life as a Kitten
I perk up an ear as always when I hear the car start
I run and hop as fast as I can, looking like a hare
Not able to contain myself, I rush outside the pet door into the field like a dart
Never forgetting one second, in the beautiful field, to enjoy the fresh air
I run and hop as fast as I can, looking like a hare
But today I stop midway, ‘what is that I spy?’
Never forgetting one second, in the beautiful field, to enjoy the fresh air
Far in the distance I see things fly
But today I stop midway, ‘what is that I spy?’
As I crawl closer I purr and they slowly land on my soft golden fur
Far in the distance I see things fly
I look out into the field and my grayish bluish eyes begin to blur
As I crawl closer I purr and they slowly land on my soft golden fur
I recall the day I opened my eyes for the first time and I swore
I look out into the field and my grayish bluish eyes begin to blur
Mom always thought I was so brave especially being the youngest of the litter
I recall the day I opened my eyes for the first time and I swore
I couldn’t believe all the beauty and fun I have been missing
Mom always thought I was so brave especially being the youngest of the litter
I always find myself reminiscing
I couldn’t believe all the beauty and fun I have been missing
Ever since then my blue butterfly friends and I would be so hardcore
I always find myself reminiscing
Sometimes I even would try to roar
Ever since then my blue butterfly friends and I would be so hardcore
That’s why my adopted family named me Courage
Sometimes I even would try to roar
My blue friends think it so funny since all I can, is meow and continue to encourage
That’s why my adopted family named me Courage
Then it starts raining, I hate getting wet, so my friends guide me back home through the pour
My blue friends think it so funny since all I can, is meow and continue to encourage Before letting them go, playfully with my front paws I try and catch at least four
Then it starts raining, I hate getting wet, so my friends guide me back home through the pour
Not able to contain myself, I rush outside the pet door into the field like a dart
Before letting them go, playfully with my front paws I try and catch at least four
I perk up an ear as always when I hear the car start
Two hundred and forty seconds or more,
Laying, fetal position in Mother’s fluids,
Fighting for air, for life
Foreshadowing his existence.
Birthed, alone
Taken from one home of solitude to
One of solitary confinement.
To us, a tragedy, to him; life.
December 3, 1930,
Before the stock market crashed
Before this child would be set aside with lost children,
Before he had a chance, he was raised by strangers.
“Institutionalized” from 3 years of age to 18 years old.
Everything being done for him, is measured doses,
Single serving packages were his normalcy,
And nurses squawking, “He’ll never be able to function on his own”
And finally, 18 years old, she came to get him out.
Let him be in the world amongst family, amongst people,
Amongst the living, instead of amongst the helpless.
This “cannot” man, got a job
Cooking for our countrymen
Caring for all encountered on a daily basis,
Permanent smile, glued to his face.
He had done everything he wanted
Even as people looked at him with sympathetic eyes,
He was oblivious to their gaze, yet he knew.
He didn’t mind, didn’t hit the nerves with this man.
He invested money
And made more than most “able” men are capable,
To him, however, it was of no consequence.
He was just as happy to smoke a cigarette and drink coffee.
O, the adversity, the near-death birth,
The late-night mugging, broken mandible,
Never disfigured his smile, or his outlook on life,
Could never dampen his demeanor.
Who ever came, or has come into contact with him, at first
Ultimately felt bad about themselves, as I did,
Never has there been a man so selfless, so unaware,
So angelic.
Like he had already transcended humanity within those
Two hundred forty seconds, and decided to stay for the Ride.
Everything was so new, so awed by life in general.
Family and friends of Larry,
Should know something they might have overlooked.
This man, rather, this man-child, although sheltered,
Institutionalized, disregarded, downtrodden by others,
Accomplished more than most men that have been referenced and revered.
never said a dull or commonplace thing, and for that he will be remembered.
Two hundred forty seconds or Less,
Laying, embracing the life he had, opened his
Eyes, and it’s December 3rd, 1930,
and Mother and son stare at each other for the first time.
I make mistakes
No im not perfect
Made some decisions
That i know were not worth it
I cried about certain things
That i knew could
Help me for the good
I tried to do things on my own
Not realizing my help came from the throne
For the first time in my life
I didn't lean towards my own understanding
I started to pray when life got so outstanding
I prayed while things were worse,or when things got better
Determined that i could make it through any kind of weather
I am not doing this on my own
In this world i cant make it alone
Lean not towards my own understanding
Except the flaws i will have thee
Pick my self up keep going
My mind needs restoring
God will help me conqueror
All things
Be my uplifter
When i fall
He's always right there
Just waiting on my call
I am so afraid
He said don't live in fear
He said my daughter
I will wipe away your tears
I didnt give you the spirit of worry
Oh no
I gave you the spirit of Me
I gave you the spirit to overcome anything
I am only a call away
Never left you
Im here to stay
Just waiting on you
To fully depend on me
What you do with your life
Is fully up to you
I am your toolbox
There fore you have the tools
I am your strength
When you feel weak
I am your confidant
Make you complete
Dont you know you i adore
You are all that i created you and so much more
I am not doing this on my own
In this world i cant make it alone
Lean not towards my own understanding
Except the flaws i will have thee
Pick my self up keep going
My mind needs restoring
God will help me conqueror
All things
Be my uplifter
When i fall
He's always right there
Just waiting on my call
Lord i need you
More than ever before
I need you to continue
To open doors
I love you
Lift your name up high
Please show me how to get by
These storms
I just want to be right with you
Be reborn
Lord i need you more than you'll ever know
Here i am
Lord take control
Whooooooooaaaaaaa
I am not doing this on my own
In this world i cant make it alone
Lean not towards my own understanding
Except the flaws i will have thee
Pick my self up keep going
My mind needs restoring
God will help me conqueror
All things
Be my uplifter
When i fall
He's always right there
Just waiting on my call
Repeat until chorus fades
Written by :Concetta Hardnett
2/11/2017