Long Flab Poems

Goodbye six pack hello* poetry scribes

My poetic side COSMOFUNNEL
wordsmith thanks tumblr in his noggin
ofttimes triggering babbling brook 
to swell after deluge
becoming stream of consciousness runnel
carving, gouging, and liquidating topography 
qua zee mow toe natural formed...

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Awaiting a growth spurt that never happened

When a boy,
I wanted to be as tall as my father
(he passed away October seventh
two thousand and twenty
linkedin to congestive heart failure),
who stood at his prime
about six feet and...

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Ongepatshket torqued skewed reflection

drawn courtesy lots of byte size chalk.

When e'er I summon fat chance
to empower me self with courage 
and steal a passing glance
in the mirror then instantaneously 
hairline fractures appear
than 'afore long 
snap,...

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Filched formerly anatomical slender man - me! Thus I take a pot belly stance!

Absolute zero escape
velocity gutted dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance
with light as a feather
physique I...

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Animal Poems II

These are poems about animals, limericks and other forms of doggerel.



Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a camel who loved to hump.
Please get your lewd minds out of their...

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These are poems about animals by Michael R. Burch

Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
“When again, gentle bride?”
“Nevermore!” bright-eyed Raven replied.



The...

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These are poems about animals by Michael R. Burch

Double Limerick: The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus, myopic,
is ungainly, not erotic.
His feet for bed
are over-webbed,
and what of his proboscis?

The platypus, though, is eager
although his means are...

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Metaphorical troubled waters deluge
pitched me to and fro,
analogous to ghosts
that haunted Ebenezer Scrooge,
yours truly violently tossed
impossible mission to experience refuge

except when deeply engrossed
between bound pages
thick and juicy tome one garden variety
generic bookworm doth ravish
escape courtesy...

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"The Mallard" and other Animal Limericks

The Mallard
by Michael R. Burch

The mallard is a fellow
whose lips are long and yellow
with which he, honking, kisses
his bawdy, boisterous mistress;
my pond's their loud bordello!



On the Horns of a Dilemma...

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Filched Physiognomy – Mine revisited!

Absolute zero escape
velocity guts dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance
with light as a feather

miss lost acquaintance
the boy within forced admittance
as sure man tanks of...

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Learning to Love Myself

Slowly, very slowly, am I coming to terms with how I look
My double-chinned face, my flabby arms, my stomach.
I think to myself that these are things I shouldn’t be allowed to have
because...

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Now I don't know if you've heard
Of the Baked Bean competition
Where contestants eat as much as can
In just twenty five minutes

Up they lined ready to start
To gobble up these dishes
Standing by were huge black pots
Ready...

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Though amply rested, I still yawn

And feel energized after
light exercise doth spawn
break through viz mental impasse,
where endeavor to coax 
germinating ideas to sprout
about as successful as 
buzzfeeding, jump/kick starting 
rooting brown lawn
to whether drought.

Long fostering...

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A former slender man (lapsed Unitarian anorexic)...
deplores adipose tissue gain

No Holiday music can soothe savage beast
washboard abdomen weight watcher's dream fleeced
skinny bag of lovely bones permanently leased
body snatcher somewhere amidst policed

madding crowd of carolers singing,
where...

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Filched Physiognomy - Mine!

Absolute zero escape
velocity guts dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance

with light as a feather
miss lost acquaintance
the boy within forced admittance
as sure man tanks of fat...

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Uncomfortable confronting 
your continuous consumption to which you're accustomed, 
the crunch, the chew, it's all you do, 
most munch at lunch while you the whole day through, 
can't get a grip like a hug holding...

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I'm a pro-cyclist, and I despise people with flab
So it hurts that my folks don't walk, they'd rather take a cab.
I describe my races at the dinner table, but all they do
Is nod politely and...

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analogous to expending precious Air Supply
embellishing, modifying, revising, et cetera
a poem crafted about fourteen months ago.

I take stock and revisit good ole days of yore
quite conscious undeclared state of war
prevails within body (Electric 
Light Orchestra)...

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From a boy to a man

Just a wee lad, pants begining to wear,
His Mum used a basin to cut his hair.
His Mum worked hard, no Dad you see,
Burnt herself out feeding her family.
School to him...

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I loathe shucking clothes,
(no matter eyes severely myopic)
in preparation for here goes
another warm shower quickly
relaxing this senescent
body ready to doze

soon after lathering
this blubbery body
most unwanted fat grows
on me, no matter healthy diet
of worms, or how...

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The Ancient mutiny of the Twain

In the beginning were both made
To dwell in unison and not to trade
You abode with each other in Eden
And never was anyone a burden.

The Author made one with the soiling...

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Boy! am I a Lard
                              ...

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Those endless talks of 
giving the fat a trim
Beauty is now the 
monopoly of the slim! 

Sinuous and slender
The hourglass figure
The thinner, the better.

Dieting and slimming 
down tricks
ofcourse selling like hot 
cakes

Tis a pity, I...

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This was the year that I Iost all my flab,
Met so many people
Ì'm really quite glad
That i put on my shoes
And took to the floor,
Watch out 2020,
I'll be back for more!

This time last year you...

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The equatorial sun was sharp and biting,
It had the mercury boiling,
The tar roads looked humid without being so,
Cars and traffic ran petulantly,
People were scared of burns,
Roads were deserted,
As most did not take up turns,
You did...

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