Long Farts Poems

'A magical lock?' Groaned Graygall in a voice of defeat.
    'We are doomed before even we are set to advance.
To defeat Trolls would be an almost impossible feat
    but...

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The Spaniel

A Spaniel that uses its head 
Can tell when its owner’s unfed 
So instead of a duck
That is down on its luck 
Will deliver a pizza instead
 
The Afghan Hound

The Afghan’s a dog groomer’s...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your...

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Megan saw what had happened and motioned a reply
    to the others who turned for a look.
When ever so slowly the Troll King opened his eyes
    as the poor...

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Unquotable quotes: Teachers – XXI

The pupil, the bitch and the walnut tree, the more the teacher beats them, the better they be.
In the old days, teachers were born to the métier like poets; today softwares...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must...

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Whoever might with just free words beside
Speak of the blood and in full too of sores
Which I saw now, with a narration wide?

Any speech will sure fail to open doors
To our sermon and for the...

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What is love?
A sea of nonexistence
both tranquil and calamitous
where the mind
does not dare enter.
(Rumi, M. Mafi, "Day By Day", p. 120, 2014, Hampton Roads)

What is timeless synergy?
Our sea of coexistence
both confluent and dissonant
where blind consciousness
seldom...

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Sunday morning early, five a.m to be
precise, my mind awakes, then gently succours
the body to arise from one’s mundane sleep. I
then transfer to Britain via 1ZB, listening
to the English football commentary, it’s worth
the lack of...

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Folk purchase this celeb’s new candle
 It’s something my brain cannot handle
 ‘Smells like my v’gina’ 
Could give folk angina
 This fragrance has caused quite a scandal 

Inspired by a comment from a fancy friend...

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Mary; After entering the room, the sounds that continue to cry on the phone are heard from three doors in Joseph's room. Joseph; He knew it was downstairs and after a few days, he agreed...

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It is not patriotic
to desecrate a flag
or even denigrate a nationalistic anthem
celebrating a war-torn patriotic flag.

Yet is it even anti-patriotic
to refuse to bow to it,
the flag, that is,
to not stand with supremacist intentions
while singing about...

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      As I fall into the buzzing altar of heavy 
metal shifting sand, maw, swirling sheets, 
illness drools plus plus halcyon?
drawn too many wrinkles...

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Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps it was fear
Foul wind was expelled from my rear
The pifflewig...

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The uniform on the floor was to be washed, dried then ironed but the scones that the pig ate meant that a walk to some hidden caves was achieved but only after the recycling was...

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These days I seek no more than this, discernment, verse gets heard,
a comment’s icing on the cake, but ratings are absurd.
A ‘one’ could be my best review, a ‘five’ the praise of fool,
a compliment, fraud’s...

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Weary weapons wearing writhing works wonderfully wreathed wigs...... Oh wow how magnificent the yellow radiance of a piece of straw. Leaning bending learning. Admire nit a wisdom curl if a pitch of ball. Throw away...

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The new sheriff of Poetry Soup
 Rode into town on a horse named Snoop
 Jan was on his wanted list
 And the gang she did enlist
 In writing lim'ricks about poop
   He found...

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Dragon wanted to go to the Fair, in the next town, as the bird flies.
Grandpa Troll, said we should take him, with a twinkle in his eyes.
Finally, we agreed, after many pleas and sighs, to...

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Things I need to stop for:
deodorant, candy bars,
some magazines,
to while away the hours..

Have to catch the train in time,
as it's a long trip north.
With no one to keep me company,
my tongue's going to rot.

On my...

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Now legends tell in History 
    of events that shook the world.
But nothing compares to the show we had 
    that caused my toes to curl.
The story grows each...

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Eightynine 
Eightynine 
 
 
CharlaXFabels 
 
FearsRelived 
 
FearsReleave 
 

Main Entry: relieved Function: adjective Date: 1850: experiencing 
or showing relief especially from anxiety or pent-up emotions 
— re•liev•ed•ly  \-ˈlē-vəd-lē\ adverb Relive One entry...

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I’m sure you’ve heard of the Great King Arthur and Lancelot’s well-known fame.
But there was yet another knight, of great glory and great fame, never named.
His name was whispered constantly, everywhere, around those hollowed halls.
For...

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I miss...

taking care of you.
making your meals and snacks for you.
telling you " Good morning ", each and every day.
taking you to school and wishing you both a blessed day.
picking you up from school, 
asking...

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ANIMAL COURT

I relate this story from my room in the Quiet Vale Giggling Academy

A reader might find my story hard to believe
BUT!
At one time in my life –
As a matter of fact quite recently –
I...

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