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25 Funny Proverbs


Never argue with a woman when she's tired or rested One good turn gets most of the blankets The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later It's better to be looked over than overlooked Definition of an ******: gland finale Virginity can be cured Sex has no calories Did you ever notice that anyone in favor of birth control has already been born The problem with the gene pool is there's no lifeguard Red meat is not bad for you, fuzzy green meat is bad for you Never pass up an opportunity to pee Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday lying in the hospital dying of nothing No one is listening until you fart Never hold in your farts... they travel up your spine to your brain and that's where your crappy ideas come from A man with both feet firmly on the ground is a man who can't get his pants off A lie travels round the world while truth is putting its boots on Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead A day spent in a well was a day well spent My ex-wife still misses me but her aim is improving I googled, “how to start a wildfire”... got 48,572 matches I'm not as think as you drunk I am Told my wife I was seeing a psychiatrist... she told me she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand A closed mouth gathers no feet Eat well, stay fit, die anyway

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 6/11/2018 11:18:00 AM
Jack you crease me up.Thank you for the laugh. To me this work is better than that of a lot of comedians.
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Jack Ellison
Date: 6/11/2018 11:36:00 AM
Love to laugh... it makes me giggle!!! Thanks, dear Sylvia!!! Love, Happy Jack XOX
Date: 6/6/2018 12:43:00 PM
Words of wisdom to live by, Jack:)
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Jack Ellison
Date: 6/6/2018 2:51:00 PM
LOL Especially number one!!!
Date: 6/6/2018 10:37:00 AM
Jack the wise one haha.
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Jack Ellison
Date: 6/6/2018 10:42:00 AM
I amaze myself... sometimes makes me fart!!!
Date: 6/6/2018 10:14:00 AM
Nice write...Well done Jack...Enjoyed it...All the best
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Jack Ellison
Date: 6/6/2018 10:24:00 AM
My mind... it's under investigation!!! LOL
Date: 6/6/2018 8:53:00 AM
Lol.. I agree.. For the first one I use silence.. I'm the master of it..
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Jack Ellison
Date: 6/6/2018 10:14:00 AM
Yup! Silence works every time... hence the name! LOL
Date: 6/6/2018 6:26:00 AM
Delirious fun ;p love it Jack! Big O hugs <3
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Jack Ellison
Date: 6/6/2018 10:12:00 AM
What are you and Dennis suggesting???? LOL
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Maureen McGreavy
Date: 6/6/2018 6:51:00 AM
...to quote T.O.'s own Dennis Lee "sometimes my mind is crazy, sometimes my mind is dumb, sometimes it sings like angel's wings and beats like kingdom come" ;)
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Jack Ellison
Date: 6/6/2018 6:33:00 AM
Sometimes my mind?... XOXOXOXOX