25 Funny Proverbs
Never argue with a woman when she's tired or rested
One good turn gets most of the blankets
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man
are usually the same ones she can't stand years later
It's better to be looked over than overlooked
Definition of an ******: gland finale
Virginity can be cured
Sex has no calories
Did you ever notice that anyone in favor of birth control
has already been born
The problem with the gene pool is there's no lifeguard
Red meat is not bad for you, fuzzy green meat is bad for you
Never pass up an opportunity to pee
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday lying in the hospital
dying of nothing
No one is listening until you fart
Never hold in your farts... they travel up your spine to your brain
and that's where your crappy ideas come from
A man with both feet firmly on the ground is a man
who can't get his pants off
A lie travels round the world while truth is putting its boots on
Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead
A day spent in a well was a day well spent
My ex-wife still misses me but her aim is improving
I googled, “how to start a wildfire”... got 48,572 matches
I'm not as think as you drunk I am
Told my wife I was seeing a psychiatrist... she told me
she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
A closed mouth gathers no feet
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway
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