Long Egotistic Poems
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Spoiled, once upon a time
She lived for herself,
Way back then, in her prime
She was just a youth,
From that greediness she’d climb
Through the dusty trails
Of ego’s breath, feels like a crime
The self-interest, her dread
From darkness, cruel words to rhyme
Revealing the insatiable appetite
She was spoiled, but in the meantime…
She began to see through the mire
Her feelings blurred by thoughts
Would she find her way through the fire?
Winds of change began to reveal
At the heart of her, God would inspire
Feelings of regret, conviction of soul
Knowing that her ego had been such a liar
Telling her that she was so important
And filling her with greed that would backfire
Could she be pulled from vanity’s grip?
The world was her canvas… yet all was dire
Once a spoiled child, full of selfish pride
She realized that time had revealed the truth
Convicted by God, she knew Him who’d abide
Letting her know that this love would grow
Love from the One who would always guide
He was perfect, and offered her perfect peace
Finally, she felt like someone was on her side
Jesus told her that the war was spiritual
And ego was only one reason He’d died
Yet, He came back, rose from the tomb
Revealing the way to be saved, His blood applied
She said…
Oh, Jesus, I know that I deserve to die
But because You love with undying love
I can refuse to believe ego’s greedy reply
Telling me that I can live without this hope
My hope is not lost and even though I cry
I know this man named Jesus who decides
To go up against my ego, my soul’s bad guy
He always remembers that love can right
Whatever might be wrong will say goodbye
When I let go and let God lead the way
I see that this Savior the world did crucify…
He’s the answer to my egotistic ways
With Him, there is hope and faith
And love that is wise, love always prays
For the time spent with Jesus
Is better that the best summer days
He is the reason that my heart believes
Without any doubt, His grace stays
Writing my story with a pen of blood
Applied so that love never betrays
And I know that ego can never win
Because He is love… I’ll forever praise!
My life thoughts darkly whisper
of mortality
hidden,
like shame,
As my death lightly wanders
through eternity
infinite,
like timelessness.
Economic wealth roots from light,
enlightenment
as
Political health branches through power,
empowerment.
Space captures deducted form
as
Time frees inductive function
As punishing absence of peace exhales
bad monotheistic climates
so restoring justice can refill
creolizing multicultures,
co-passionate dipolar co-arisings
like life
and death
and bicameral paradox
bilateral fractal box
in-between
Space invites unconfined energy,
co-gravitating
as
Time remembers unSourced energy,
democratically uniting co-passions
throughout past
and future regenerations.
Left hemisphere ergodically longs
to restore immortal justice
as
Right hemisphere ionically belongs
to wondrously interdependent
contextual
multicultural
transubstantiating
synergetic
holonic
holy
sacred peace,
Kingdoms of God
QueenSeas of EarthMother Wombs,
Fathers
and HolonicWinds/HolyWaves.
Yang invests in ecosystemic light
as
Yin divests of egocentric
economic
capitalistic
win/lose anthro-centric
anti-ecological
degenerative
patriarchally predative
LeftBrain monoculturally dominating
power.
Economically cooperative experiences
darkly whisper of mortality
hidden,
like egotistic shame,
UnCompetitive fear of death lustily wanders
through enculturing eternity,
infinite history,
like angry timelessness.
A health optimizing life
also with cooperative eco-political
absence of unnecessary win/lose
capitalistic
egotistic strife,
seeks and finds an active conversation
between universal physics
and unitarian metaphysics,
Between living organic space
as regeneratively abstract
distracted
timeless win/win GameTime
for living happily
health wealthily
EverAfter.
Between YangLeftBrain natural embodied
memory
and YinRightBrain spiritually disembodied
imagination,
Win/Win more lovingly powerful
than Win/Lose competitive duty
to economically perform
and politically ego-sacrifice,
eco-compromise
long-term degenerative
Lose-binomial and Lose-bilateral
Cognitive-affective
Universal-unitarian
Atomic-WaveLinear
Place-BiTemporal Revolution Spirals
Still confused by complex dissonance
over articulation,
disease over ease,
unease over co-passion
Universally embodied
cooperatively uniting disembodied
polypathic co-relations
primally co-passionate
double-binding
BiLateral NonZero-Sum
Democratically
multiculturally
ergodic SpaceTime
Defining and refining
this health optimizing life:
Cooperatively eco-political
absence of unnecessary win/lose
capitalistic
egotistic strife,
seeks and finds and cherishes
an active conversation
between universal natural physics
and unitarian spiritual metaphysics,
Between healthy ecological relationship
and wealthy theological compassion.
Am I fated to go on living in this impervious place
where everyone wears a mask to conceal his face?
I'm floundering in this difficult period of time,
where no one understands the rhythm of rhyme.
I must search the deepest corners of my mind
for a region where oblivion cannot be defined.
I long to find a habitat where I can be me,
a sanctuary where my inhibitions are set free.
Mankind has become such an abstract machine.
Everyone walks to the beat of the same tambourine.
Egotistic are those blind to the needs of others.
A depth of indifference that stifles and smothers.
When did it happen, that it became a world of greed
where everyone wants more than they'll ever need?
Bump into me on the street, I know you don't care.
The oblivion in society is almost more than I can bear.
I cling to the prospect of a world in which I can behold,
a race of benevolent humans, as in stories long foretold.
Where no masks would be worn to disguise a feeling,
and no need for secrets of embarrassing revealing.
If there will be a place where human qualities exist,
it's a world in which I could more than just subsist.
I need to withdraw from this callous oblivious place,
and live where people are no longer a robotic race.
December 6th 2015
Oblivion Contest
Host: Rob Carmack
Psychoanalysis
Vanity and ecstasy overwhelm the minds of people
Who gloat with conceit and display
Pompous arrogance as they parade themselves
Before the public as chosen vessels for behavioural
Rewards, determined by themselves as acceptable
To indulge in the belittling of others!
This defines their existence as noble in cause.
When they, the elite, rendezvous with fate
And perceive themselves to be unique,
Superior beings segregated from those
Who are weak-minded and susceptible
To interpretations and suggestions;
Who have no reason to exist, nor possess
Finesse attributes, and cannot be distinguished
From the herd mentality by the intellectual process
Of their egotistic minds—or so they think!
This precarious attitude can be judgmental
And dissociating; it invites dismal consequences.
Out of touch with reality and full of themselves,
They gallivant through branches in the tree of knowledge
And haphazardly arrive at false conclusions.
Based on a biased perception of the world
That only they can understand as rational,
It gives credence to psychoanalysis.
Sound familiar? And so you hope
Others will be hoodwinked by your antics
Into believing you are nonchalant when,
In actuality, you are stressed out and nervous
To be discovered as introverted.
You will not acquiesce to truthful criticism.
It is a depraved mind that derives pleasure
From the dissection of another.
To forgive ourselves is always the hardest part
in this game of 'life in the flesh' that we play,
stuck like super glue to our hearts
when everything else vanishes away.
When all the dynamics, false beliefs, accumulated debree,
(those false beliefs we've held about others,
those egotistic judgments that we're even too blind to see,
unconscious declarations projected on to our sisters and brothers.)
What does that say about me?
When the bubble pops and all of that
dissolves into an evaporating mist,
there IT is, stuck like glue
what is hardest to dismiss.
Perhaps your life knows no regrets,
but regrets, I've one or two,
It has nothing to do with the world outside myself,
one of those things
that only a face to face visit with Jesus Christ
could ever possibly dissolve the glue.
Those things stuck, unwilling to budge,
leaving us feeling unworthy of love and respect,
obviously needing more love, not less,
easy to see in retrospect.
But hardest to love.
So, in my real screwed up way,
watching the small things vanish into the mist,
here I stand with you today,
and leaning over I plant a kiss on your heart.
May you always be blessed with love and respect.
She easily admits to having many flaws,
has no humour except when writing about furry things with claws;
she has tons of poetic talent with her pen,
words just flow onto paper again and again.
Oh gosh, she has so much self-taught poetic skill,
I love her poems and her creative inspired quill;
and she can draw, paint and take photographs- so artistic,
she wins lots of contest but is never, ever egotistic.
She has been my friend for years and we are stuck like glue,
I like how she is always looking for a hobby new;
she has many, many, many goals,
a list that is as long as the dead sea scrolls.
I never saw a person with so many different dictionaries,
told me she gets them as rejects from libraries;
she is always, always in a journal writing and writing,
but it is like another language when trying to read her handwriting.
I admire how she is always doing things to improve,
she lives her life her way and does not require anyone to approve;
she is forgiving, loving and kind,
and surrounds herself with friends of like mind.
Seems like advocates for cooperatively-invested dialogue
are concerned about indoor classroom experiences
that feel a lot more like debate
or merely academic,
detached,
cold analysis of win/lose evolutionary history,
in which might proves rightwing kleptocratic victories
while lefter democratic peace voices
fade into non-violent
non-verbal communications
just among our oh-so-tolerant lefty hugging selves.
I've been talking to our Faith Formation Director
about why Unitarian-Universalist Universities
are
and are not
appropriate educational dialogue multicultures
for any faith formation,
active hope reformation,
compassionate therapy development,
climate health rather than more climate pathology.
It seems that good faith formation
precludes bad lack of trust deformation,
disinformation,
egotistic debate cultures
where winners take all
and losers run off in search of some safer classroom.
For me,
outdoor classrooms feel safer
for win/win multicultural dialogue
between nutritionally communicating allies,
consuming and producing healthy natural elements
like richer soil,
cleaner water,
better air,
balanced ego/eco-systemic climates
where distinctions between wealth and health
are held collectively for further refinement,
and not hoarded autonomously
for further isolating definitions
into either-or thinking
without sufficient emotional intelligence
for both health and wealth of feeling.
Outdoor classrooms
endorse dialogue
about how ecology and theology,
like science and sentience
outside and inside,
refine good trusting faith formation together
more left and right hemispheric
rightwing and leftwing heuristic exploration
toward in-between mutually cooperative discovery
uncovery of win/win potentialities,
Rather than all that inside classroom
business as supremely left-hemisphere academic
egocentric
anthropocentric left v right debate
about whose cold calculating weapons
are best for overpowering warm organic tools
of Earth's most polycultural producing healthy wealth.
Reforming left and right hemispheric dialogue
feels better,
naturally and spiritually,
holistically and holonically;
outside ecological relationships
forming good faith
of and for inside theological compassion.
For what reason I'm more than often sad...
if warm rain gives life to beautiful roses:
can skies change from grey to blue in an instant?
For what reason do I run from happiness?
Are these thoughts erased from the writing pad,
ignoring what causes bitterness and regret?
The lonelier I am, the more restless I get;
I mistake affection for something else;
loving the wrong person is not the solution
to replace my loss and ignore delusion...
throwing away each kiss and embrace:
a betrayer lives nights of cold sweat!
For what reason do I ride on clouds?
I can easily mistake passion for affection
and let delusion turn into useless despair!
For what reason do I object to being realistic...
take apart everything and find out if it's fair
to stay faithful, and avoid being egotistic?
Could I stand on a pedestal and show devotion,
and not follow others that look for false lovers?
Is it worth losing all the joy
I felt and owned yesterday?
Who has patience always wins chasing dreams;
I hate to be the one hanging from tiny strings!
For what reason do I get so weak
touching without words to speak?
Holding someone you adore is feeling very happy;
loving someone you trust is being more than lucky!
For what reason do I doubt promises...
whispered sweetly when desire rises?
For what reason do I ride on clouds
and not think that liars are clowns?
I see it in your eyes at times
the toll it all has taken
the illusions you fell for
your hands passing through
projections of people
reaching out for them to find
they were never there
their hearts elsewhere
feeling the bruises on your back
from their footprints
after they used you as a stepping stone
to where they thought the lights shone
brighter
I’m nobody
no femme fatale turning heads
a simple scribbler of words
that I hope a few may find meaningful
certainly not at all what you’re used to
I see through the banality
the superficiality
the egotistic, narcissistic morass
Someone that would rather be
appreciated over celebrated
A cozy pajamas and fuzzy slippers
on a cold winter’s night
drinking cheap champagne
watching old movies
wrapped up in a warm fluffy blanket
cuddling on the couch
kind of girl
but if you were to reach out
to touch me
I’d be there