Long Dog food Poems
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Putin said he wouldn't invade, but then he's known for his lies
So when he sent in his murdering scum, it came as no surprise
It will go down in the annals of history, as Putin's great blunder
And if anything it's united Ukraine, and not tore it asunder.
American President Joe Biden has now found a way
To make that despicable war criminal, Vlad Putin pay
To Ukraine he's sending lethal predator, and reaper drones
That will help to build stocks of dog food, of Russian bones.
Russian soldiers are not human from what we have seen
You've read and seen the evidence, so you know what I mean
They're gutless and have yellow streaks all down their backs
And scurry down to the sewers when Ukraine counter attacks.
Russians fire from a distance and let their lethal missiles fly
At hospitals, nurseries and any innocent civilians passing by
They only kill unarmed men, women and children, who pose no threat
But Russia, the civilised world is watching and we will not forget.
Red flags are what the Russians are using, to justify a crime
But the world is not stupid and it can see through the grime
A Russian town on the border was shelled so they could blame Ukraine
Then used it as an excuse to inflict, more misery and pain.
Every Despot who commits war crimes will always pay the price
Putin the war dog will be put down, Ukraine will not think twice
He'll have to surround himself with thugs and be lucky every day
But an avenger will only have to strike lucky once, to make Putin pay.
No tears were shed when he lost his flagship, in the black sea
It is one lethal weapon less to use, against that war torn country
The west thought sanctions alone would bring this war to an end
But it hasn't really worked, so more arms the west must send.
The battle for the Eastern Donbas region is well underway
And for those brave Ukrainian defenders, we must all pray
They're fighting to defend their freedom and sovereignty
But only military aid from the West will ensure their victory.
The horrific scenes we've seen on the news of towns reduced to rubble
Are because Putin knows he's not winning and that he's in trouble
At his forthcoming military parade, he's hoping to announce a victory
But if he was an honest man he'd tell his country, that he's failed miserably.
Written on 20th April 2022
One night about a year ago, we heard whimpering at our door.
One of us had to get up and go, didn’t reckon for what was in store.
A dog, with a note “look after our dog we don’t want him anymore.
We know you are good people, we have watched you at the shops.
Some were shaking their heads and demanding all that noise stops.
We saw you give a woman with 4 screaming kids a bag of lolly pops."
Referring to the dog, tied to our veranda lattice, the note went on to say,
"He isn’t a bad dog and doesn’t eat much, its just that he won’t ever obey.
We can’t control him, and he never stops crying, right up to this very day."
It was a cold night, so we brought him in after we finally got him untied.
At midnight he was warmly soaking in the laundry tub, once inside.
To warm him up, get him clean and to kill every flee that we spied.
Wrapped him in an old towel and realized we had a big decision to make.
The burning question, what to do for the poor dog and for our sake.
We hadn’t planned on getting a dog. Quite a responsibility to undertake.
Finally he stopped whimpering, and on a blanket settled down to sleep.
We would sleep on the burning question whether to give away or keep.
In the morning we were surprised, we got up and didn’t hear a peep.
My husband said good morning he called the dog ‘Bandon’ to my surprise.
“Well” he said “he is an A Bandon’d dog,” Which sounded quite wise.
Having a look at him, he was a handsome dog with large bright eyes.
A metal dish we used for BBQ’s had already been painted with his name.
It seemed we had made “our” decision, a majority of one just the same.
He ate well wagging his tail all the while, and when we called, he came.
Now it was time to work out a budget to handle our new expenses.
Dog food, vet, registration, lead and collar Had we lost our senses?
And then the matter of building and fortifying all our gates and fences.
Well that was all a year ago and time has past and I am happy to relate,
We have a terrific friend. If he sees it left open, he closes the gate.
He was a Bandon’d , now daily, for us to get home, he will sit and wait.
We love this little fella, his happy ways give us more than we give.
He learns something new every day. Home is now such a fun place to live.
A bag of lolly pops made us eligible. To those that gave him up we forgive .
This is Uganda
My motherland
My home that I love so much
Boom, boom, boom,boom
Another prominent leader has been shot dead
Who is it?
Abiriga, the yellow man
Panic here, panic there
Some arrests here and there
And that’s it
He is gone
And the killers too are nowhere to be seen
This is Uganda
Around that time, it’s party here and party there
Many of my brothers and sisters have come to the beginning of the end of their time in school and some totally done
The graduation has brought well-wishers, relatives, friends and family from different places
Happiness is all in the air
But for many, the excitement ends there
Because months and years after that, they are still hoping to find their first job and the hopes seem to be withering down and getting further like the sun setting at dusk
Some have chosen paths totally different from what they studied for
The professional doctor is now a trader
The one that studied engineering is now a farmer
This is Uganda
The neighbor’s dogs are feasting on meat, chicken bones or even the chicken itself and maybe some serious Dog food sold in supermarkets but they slept on empty stomachs the previous night,
The mother is the main breadwinner for the husband abandoned them
There is very thin hope for a meal the next day
Maybe a Good Samaritan will do a miracle
But it certainly is not going to be their most immediate neighbor
While kids from well-to-do families are picked from the gates of their parents’ homes to go to school and brought back later in the evening,
Somewhere in the same age range or slightly older has also woken up to start his/her day
With his/her old & dirty sack on the back, held by the neck, he traverses the whole village throughout the day in search for scrap metal, plastics and some metallic cans that he/she hopes to sell off and find a little something to buy some food and also enjoy some ‘luxuries’ like maybe buying a secondhand T-shirt/Dress
Imagine that!
This is Uganda
We pay for justice
Some pay to deny other justice
And that’s the way it is
A police officer will ask you for a bribe openly with no shame
And that’s the order of the day
Disguised as a small token for ‘Ka-soda’ or ‘Ka-lunch’
This is Uganda
Form:
Carrying a sleeping baby.
Cleaning after a successful party.
Camping beyond mountains more mountains.
Playing trumpet on the streets of New York City.
Eating although the food supply is deeply compromised.
Flying with Democrats and Republicans, evangelicals and atheists.
Flying like a fruit fly that won’t quit mating.
Cool as a hummingbird in the stream’s wet spray.
Abstaining wholly, absent from worldly life.
Two dogs fighting but not biting hard.
Chanting as if the planet were mending.
Gourmet dining, devout prayer, loving Mary.
Evenings watching tv. Scotch and Star Trek.
Taking off Emily Dickinson’s clothes.
Meeting in the meeting house, arguing and praying.
Planning a legacy as if you knew enough to control events.
Pursuing happiness as a naturalist or humanist.
Spinning with the planet, performing the history that surrounds us.
Killing many Germans, saving many Jews.
Doing less until one thing’s done well.
Fainting from staring at candles through stained glass windows.
Morning, a billion trillion nuclear detonations per second warming your
bones.
Manipulating symbols, solving equations.
Disregarding tweets and facebook persuasions.
Sitting with a tiny Buddha near a rushing stream cutting a gorge.
Running, disciplining myself, making myself healthy.
Ingesting drugs, throwing die, drinking sludge.
Growing varicolored corn.
Participating in the cause because it’s impossible not to participate in
the effect.
Running over a chipmunk, groundhog or a skunk.
Lying face down in the emergency room facing doom.
Waking up Monday thinking Sweet Saturday! but soon remembering your
trick knee.
Turning the towering young thunder of my anger against my sons.
Regretting the callow dispassion with which I met my parents’ quietus.
Lawn mowing, leaf blowing, yapping dogs, napping old people.
No jets but a rooster mornings, cows and goats.
Al is painting an apartment. Sirma is cleaning the floors. Felix is taking
out the garbage.
Deciding tentatively I slightly prefer Heifetz’ to Oistrakh’s Sibelius.
No cedar waxwings, no chickadees, but beautiful moon!
If you’re alone as you get, why are you crying?
My T.V. just left, said he was
Gonna go out and catch a real movie...
Those on T.V. stations have grown too trite,
My refrigerator told me,
He ain't letting me in no more...
At least till I drop 20...
I guess I'm a frightful sight...
Things are seemingly becoming,
So very, very odd..
I don't know, what of it, I should make...
It starts every morning,
When my bed kicks me out,
Before I'm half-way awake...
My electric razor merely adds to my beard,
Aspirin only adds to my physical pain,
It's getting mighty weird...
And that's only a small portion,
Of the bizarre things that I can't explain...
I didn't have a twenty,
To appease my angry 'fridge
So I tried feeding it a fifty...
Through those mysterious bottom vents...
It ate the bill up at once,
And said it could not make change...
My, things were getting awful strange...
My toaster, which apparently
Felt some pity for me...
Started popping out singles,
Unfortunately, burnt to a char,
I began to feel my mind,
Had spent six weeks of
non-stop drinking,
In some filthy dockside bar...
My A/C only works...
On the coldest winter days,
My can opener will only open..
Cans of gross carrots and peas:
My mixer is so mixed up,
Everything comes out
Solid as a brick...
And my dish washer is
Quite a villain...
Washes only paper plates,
And that ain't so thrillin'
It's always up to some mean trick,
Like shooting out the water,
Maybe it thinks it's a floor washer,
The whole thing just makes me sick...
My refrigerator's ice dispenser
Only dispenses Swedish meatballs...
My toilet cover won't open up for me,
Said it's seen enough of my sorry _ss,
Even my flip-flops are flops..
And my phone line is tapped,
For some reason,
By the cops...
My local supermarket,
Only allows me two aisles...
One with toilet paper and plungers,
The other strictly dog food and cat litter..
My microwave no longer waves at me,
Merely gives me the finger...
How much more on this world,
Must I linger?
I don't get no respect...
It aint easy being me..
So move over, Rodney,
I'll be joining you real soon,
Maybe the two of us,
Can find refuge on the moon.
My roommates and I congregated in our suite's great room and we’ll head out for dinner soon.
“Have you ever eaten dog food?” Leong asked Anna.
“No,” Anna answered, “it smells like chicken - it’s got chicken in it”
“OOO!” Leong pounces, “Busted!!”
“What?!” Anna reacts.
“How would you know that then?” Leong asks, doubtfully.
“My mom told me!” Anna cries, in self-defense. “She’s a vegetarian too.”
“Your mom told you.” Leong said, like a prosecutor raising an eyebrow for the jury.
“I just took my last English class,” I report, pony-tailing my hair, “my teacher told me - privately - that my writing destroys.”
“Nice,” Lisa says.
“Yeah,” I say, smiling and grooming with pride, “I thought that was a ballin’ complement and I’ve been riding that high.”
“No doubt,” Anna says and nods.
“My English professor..” Leong says, exasperated, “is driving me crazy,” I’ve written three final papers so far and she’s rejected them ALL.”
“Huh?” I gasp, “Show me one!” I demand, wiggling gimmie-fingers at her laptop.
“Here’s a question,” Lisa asks the room, “What would you change about your childhood?”
“I would have never grown up.” Sophy said.
“When I was in third grade, in the UK, a girl in my elementary school, was murdered,” I reveal.
“What?!” Anna says.
“Oh, my GOD!” Lisa gasps.
“Spill” Leong demands.
“Her name was Kennedy,” I begin, “She was in another class, I didn’t know her but I started to imagine that I’d known her. I’d think of her playing on the swings in a yellow dress, in daydreams and in nightmares.
“I can see that,” Leong said.
“I was flummoxed, at the time, how a family could lose a little girl and a president.” I added.
Anna looked confused.
“I was in third grade,” I replied,” what did I know?
“Go ON,” Lisa prompts.
“We heard that she was walking home and got snatched,” I continued.
“Jesus,” Lisa said, shaking her head.
“Although I never walked home, I was careful not to be snatched for a while,” I summarized.
“I bet,” Anna agreed.
“That’s what I’d change,” I said, “Poor Kennedy.”
“People suck,” Lisa pronounced, and there was general agreement to *that*.
Today was the big day! I bought a scratch-off ticket two days ago and won $25,000.00! Can
you imagine that? Me, a lonely unemployed nobody, strikes it rich. Yee-Hah! So, I'm off to the
lottery collections agency to cash in my lucky windfall. The polite gentleman handed me
the necessary forms. I feverishly completed them and within 36 minutes was awarded my
check. Wow! Me, a single, unrecognized nobody, is clutching a mild fortune.
“Zippety-Do-Dah!” Whistling a happy tune, I venture home. Three blocks before reaching my
domicile, I spotted a young lad on the corner of Clark Street and 9th Avenue. He was
sitting on the cold concrete playing with an energetic puppy - yet, he was crying. "Hey,
kid, that's a beautiful puppy you've got." The young boy looked up at me and stammered:
"He's not my puppy, Mister. I found him here in the street a little while ago. The doggie
has no home." My heart skipped two beats. "Where do you live, son?" The tearful boy
crooked his head towards a dilapidated house two lots away from the corner of Clark
Street. I didn't think anyone lived there. I paused for a second and then:
"Hey, Mister? Do you have an extra quarter?" I was speechless for a moment.
"Excuse me, Mister...um, do you have a dime or a quarter? I have two quarters in my pocket.
If I get one more I can buy the puppy a can of dog food at the corner store." Containing a smile,
I lost my breath. I regained my wits and asked: "Would your Mom and Dad approve of you
having a puppy?" The young lad kept his head down and replied: "Well, my Dad is dead.
But I know my Mom would like this puppy. It's just that my Mom can't walk and, um...
I take care of her and, um...we really wouldn't have enough money to take
care of a dog, anyways." My heart was breaking. "What's your name son?"
I didn't understand who's tears I was envisioning - his or mine.
"Charlie, Mister." "My name's, Charlie."
(SEE Part 2 OF THE STORY FOR THE ENDING...)
For: Carol Brown
I Hepled The Needy contest
(This is Part I of the story)
Grandma's Pets
My granda went away to sea
For many months on end
He'd travel on a fishing boat
With his brother and a friend
He used to write home regularly
And tell some quite tall tales
About being in a far-away place
When he was actually in Wales
Once they actually went to Africa
He wrote he was bringing Gran a pet
When he came home with a small cage
He'd brought her a marmoset
He opened up the cage
And up the curtains it did run
The curtains tore, granda laughed,
Grandma didn't think it fun
She said it had to go
So to the pet shop Granda went
He returned without the Monkey
And to ‘Coventry’ he was sent
Granda apologised and said
that he would compensate
Next day he bought Gran Tip,a cat
Bimbo, the budgie, feared its fate
He'd run up and down his ladder
And his cuttlefish he would gnaw
He took one look at Tip and thought
'I've not seen you before'
One day he pecked his bell so hard
The clapper fell out onto the floor
No matter how much he pecked it
That bell would ring no more
Bimbo, I’d known since a little girl
He lived to a good age
I still remember that fateful day
I found him lifeless in his cage
Tip lived till he was seven
Many kittens he would father
Mrs Thomas would bang on the door
And get in a right lather
“Your Tip's been paying visits
To my precious tabby Pip.
If you don't keep him in
I'll see to it he has ‘the snip'”
After Tip came Ruff the dog
A cairn terrier with his papers
We would laugh so many times
At his little doggie capers
There were two unbuttered teacakes
Sitting on a plate
Mum went to fetch the butter
She came back to an empty plate
Ruff was looking sheepish
Crumbs all around his chin
The cute expression on his furry face
I could swear it was a grin
We lost Ruff when he was eight
Poison in his canned dog food
If that had happened now
The manufacturer we'd have sued
Grandma put her foot down
And told Granda “No more pets”
She missed them all
Well most of them
But not the marmoset
cat, dog, food, humor, mom, pain, summer,
I tripped over feet
My shoe laces both came undone
Slid in my 'spilled' milk
Cut my finger on broke glass
My blood now was mixed in milk!
I sat on a chair
It was much too low for me
Table top held my chin
Knees folded I knelt down below
My neck got cramped looking up!
Taking a 'soap' soak
I washed my hair in 'suds' water
Forgot to rinse 'wash'
Let the bath drain of cold water
Had to take a shower too!
I bit my finger
A huge delicious apple
Choked on pieces bitten
And swallowed a broken tooth
It left an empty hole then!
Pits are wicked on teeth
Cherry pits the worse for wear
Three cherries at once
Eaten you choke on a pit
If swallowed you then will die!
Pepper makes a sneeze
Then coughing up of chewed food
Follows up the throat
Adding 'more' to the food plate
Appetite all lost!
Close your eyes and wish
Once upon a time like 'right' now
My mom told me so
Magic will make a wish come true
Then I learnt she fibs white lies!
Cats and dogs skip rope
Jumping around up and down
When the double-dutch stops
Cat and dog hair flies about
Then the fight is done double time!
Touring on my bike
I flipped ' head over heels' and rolled
Down grassy culverts below
Upon a stinking skunk hole
Startling the homeowners there!
Belly laugh causes much gas
That builds wind into a toot
Relieving more pain
Reaching a higher stink bomb
That calls more laughter!
My peaches are very ripe
I squeezed one to check them out
Grab'n napkins and bowl
When bitten into juices pour
Sliding stickily down my chin!
Corn on the cob needs
Melted butter and wood toothpicks
Small bits catch in teeth
Cob takes two hands for chomping
All the kernels in a row!
Shaved cabbage ' coleslaw'
Sliced hamburger buns with meat
Chopped onions with sauces
Causes gall bladder heartburn pain
Trapped gasses giving 'piglet' shame!
Ever find yourself getting
up on the wrong side of
the bed, knowing your
going to have one of those
days!! Guess what!
everything went wrong,
first, the letters slipped
out of the mailbox when
I went to mail
them.
The cat ate the dog food
the dog ate the cat food
The fish tanks pump
went dead, with the fish,
swimming on there sides.
I left the house, tripping
gracefully over the stepping
block, got my neck caught
on a rose thorn trying to get
the morning paper the boy
threw in the thorny rose bushes.
The dog next door came
in the yard, took a big dump
on my new planted grass, the
city gave me a ticket, for planting
flowers to close to the fire
hydrant..
I went to work, found someone
parked in my parking space, my
computer decided to stop working
and the coffee tasted like tar.
Went to the store, on my way
home, checked everything out
at the counter, realized I had
left both my wallet and charge
card in my other hand bag.
I was about to scream, when my
son came home from school wearing
a black eye, which his girlfriend gave
him for something stupid he had
said to make her upset.
Now was time for bed, and decided
to take a nice soothing bath to relax
my shattered nerves, when I realized
their was no hot water, because the
hot water tank had broken.
I just had it, got into bed, thanking
God for giving me a wonderful day to
tackle, with patience and gratitude.
I figured if thanking God for a wonderful day
my day tomorrow may be just great which I
needed so badly to be, after the stress of
today's craziness.
Should I tell you what happened on my
wonderful day, I thought would be great?
I really better say nothing about it.
(Please don't expect to always have beautiful day)
By Derena
© 2018 Derena (All rights reserved)