Long Dieting Poems
Long Dieting Poems. Below are the most popular long Dieting by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Dieting poems by poem length and keyword.
I am a child of the universe
The one to have begot, on this earth, her rightful place
I am a being made of flesh and blood
A being with a soul, with sensitivity as her ruling word
I show to the world a side of me that does not really be me
I show to the world, a woman, being yet a girl, one so bold
Fearless yet frail at the same, strong, detached
One dedicated to her duty, one who does yearn to be accepted
I show to the world, a girl bent on creativity
One who does find her peace only in works, being so literary
One who does enjoy only her own company
One who does be a loner, as well as a boring entity
But then, the one I do really be
Does be made of magic and mystery
Why, I do believe my real abode does be the skies
They do be from where I fell and to where I shall rise
I do really be overly sensitive
So much that I do show not that I do grieve
I hesitate even to forgive
Out of fear of being once more, rebuked
I do really be made of an open heart
Yes, the whole of humankind does be my sweetheart
But then, showing my empathy does be useless
See, the world itself does have an aim, so senseless
I do be still a child inside
Yes, in being pampered do I pride
For the child in me does yearn still for my carer
The one who does be my mother or yet still, my grandmother
I do be a complexity for the rest of humanity
See, I do live my life fully while claiming to be in love with spirituality
Why, of holy verses I know naught
But then, for their revival shall I fight
I do be a girl who does be high on morals
Indeed, I do live as a prudish one
Allergic to that which does be immoral
Allergic and of course, to evil, never being prone
I do be a girl yearning to be appreciated
So far, my writings have been to me, my hymns so well accorded
Pray, wish I for such to be so still
Yes, for only in such do I get a sort of artistic thrill!
I do be a girl relishing some good food
Why, of the looks of a nice pizza and a glass of wine, have I always admired
So much that for me, such does be prized
But again, a little dieting would be much needed
Pray, the side I show to the world does be only a part of what I do be
Should you want to know me
Then, you should read all of my poetry
Indeed, only in those rhymes do I bare my soul!
If it smells good and tastes good, I will be munching
Eating is not about caloric number crunching
My taste bud is the judge and not the dietitian
Water, oil and heat there is no complication
Vegans have turned me into a carnivore
Better run, can’t you hear the canine roar
I dig deep into my fried chicken and t-bone steaks
I make a nutritionist salivate and dieting fake
Sorry dietitian I am lost in your jargon
The directions I look for, is how to get the tin open
The ingredients just look like a periodic table
I am used to recipes and not a chemical symbol
I keep simple it, greens for thin
I make the oil ripple, meat for fit
I can't lose touch with the starch
Some extra protein wont make me a glutton
When dieting, I’m rarely weak. In fact,
I’m Batgirl strong – resisting the allure
of sweet desserts. I’ve never been attacked
by chocolate hunger pangs. I’ve got the cure.
I give myself allowance every day
to taste a little bit of things I crave
since deprivation is the surest way
to get a Superhero sure to cave.
But don’t let popcorn anywhere near me!
The yummy butter smell asSALTS my nose,
and I go crazy, when especially,
nobody else is eating it! Suppose
a bowl of it just sits there? I‘m less strong.
Handfuls of poporn I will keep on getting.
That popcorn you’ll see vanish before long!
I then remove my Batgirl tights . . . regretting.
Oct. 5, 2021
For Anthony Biaanco's Your Kryptonite Poetry Contest
Afternoon tea at three, oh what a delight
The table was set - it was an incredible sight
Laden with sandwiches, cakes and tea
What a fantastic treat this was going to be
We tucked in with relish, each mouthful a treat
Deciding which delicious food we should eat
Sandwiches with beef, prawns and tuna too
So much choice my appetite grew and grew
I demolished four sandwiches and then licked my lips
Should I tackle the cakes or consider my hips
The scones with cream and strawberries caught my eye
Oh sod all the calories and wave the diet goodbye
Next came the cake could I resist the temptation
Coffee and walnut cake I had to sample this creation
Each mouthful was heaven oh the dieting can wait
Niarbyl café afternoon tea – sheer heaven on a plate!
Jan Allison
7th April 2014
We were treated to Afternoon Tea at the Niarbyl Cafe yesterday - I wrote this little poem as a thank you to our lovely friend
My middle aged spread is just spreading
So I thought I should join a new gym
Got to fit in my dress for a wedding
With some exercise I could get thin
I’ve got these new gym pants that sparkle,
And a t-shirt that flatters my tum,
I look like a fat Meghan Markle,
Well, ok, I look like her fat Mum.
I’ve got me a personal trainer
Who’s worked out an exercise plan
And with dieting, it’s a no brainer
Plus, who knows, I might find a new man!
They all hang around by the free weights,
Looking muscly and tanned and exotic,
Saying stuff like “hey, I’ll spot for YOU, mate!”
It’s terribly **********.
I gawp at a steroid packed beefcake
his neat package on full display
Lifting weights with his very good ‘friend’ Blake
It’s a pity they’re overtly gay
I’ve a voucher to try spinning classes
All the cyclists are dripping with sweat
They wobble their cute little ‘asses’
I’m going to get fit you can bet
I might have a go at Pilates
(All those supple but sensitive men!)
But the “down dog” pose makes me quite farty
So I might “blow” my chance there and then.
The Zumba class gets my heart racing
My boobies they wobble like jelly
This gym bug I’m really embracing
It beats sitting down watching telly
Cos it’s fun getting breathless and sweaty
While drinking in all of the sights,
And so long as the staff don’t eject me,
It all counts as cardio, right?
All spent, I lie in the Jacuzzi
My bikini floats off in the bubbles
I look like a desperate floozie
I guess that’s the least of my troubles!
So here’s hoping I gain some more vigour
While my bum shrinks to tiny perfection
Who knows, with my smokin’ new figure
I might pull at the wedding reception!
Written with Nina Parmenter who is a fabulously talented very funny lady and a joy to collaborate with!
2/14/18
Supposedly the ideal woman's measurements
Used to be 36-32-36
That's no longer reality which the fashion industry
Is finally starting to acknowledge
We're starting to see ads with a little heavier models
Because a recent study showed
That 63% of Americans are overweight
I'm definitely within that majority
Although I'm doing something about it
Have been riding my exercise bike
For 20 minutes every day for the past 2 years
One of my meals, either lunch or dinner is a salad
However as we age, the difficulty of losing weight
Becomes much more difficult to achieve
For a lot of us the famous yo-yo dieting comes into play
Without strong perseverance one must be dedicated
To the cause but it also must be a whole new life style change
And must include a steady exercise routine
It doesn't have to resemble an Olympic training program
As long you're active in some manner or other
And of course eating properly
No one ever said dieting would be easy
But the benefits far outweigh the effort
So get with the program people... it's all up to you!
© Jack Ellison 2015
"Book Worms" Posted 1 Feb 2021
i'm reading a book about anti-gravity I can't put it down
that bio of Led Zeppelin's guitarist is a real Page turner
don't miss this: "Dummies For Dummies" by Charlie McCarthy and Lamb Chop
i'll admit there is a time and place for books in my hand and right now
in one college course we read books about candy the class was Choc Lit
today I got hit on the head by a book I have my shelf to blame
[humor attribution: all humor found online of unknown origin]
"But Weight, There's More" Posted 8 Feb 2021
for some of us during COVID overeating is a weigh of life
when i feel plump i tell myself i'm not overweight, i'm undertall
those who sell books on dieting are living off the fat of the land
darwin's theory of sumo wrestling the survival of the fattest
during lockdown, i'm on the seafood diet i see food, i eat it
i saw my doctor and asked him what kind of shape i'm in he said "pear"
[humor attribution - all were found online, of unknown origin]
"Groucho Marx Edition" Posted 15 Feb 2021
if i said you had a gorgeous body would you hold it against me?
i would never belong to a club that would have me as a member
be open minded but not so open minded that your brains fall out
i never forget a face but in your case, i'll make an exception
i have had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it
those are my principles and if you don't like them, well, I have others
All humor attributed to the inimitable Groucho Marx
"Occupational Hazards" Posted 22 Feb 2021
my dentist's motto be true to your teeth or they will be false to you
bakers trade recipes with each other on a knead to know basis
I called a budget exterminator he came with a flyswatter
the butcher backed into the meat grinder and got behind in his work
a back- and neck-straightener in Egypt is called a Cairo practer
don't call me a plumber I am a "broker in new and used water"
[Humor attribution - all humor found online, attribution unknown]
There was a young man who was obese.
He ate too much and now he's deceased.
He went to his favorite restaurants and ate a lot of food every day.
He died at the age of thirty and it's not surprising that he passed away.
His family told him that his gluttony might prove fatal and they begged him to go on a diet.
Even though they told him over and over that his obesity might end his life, he didn't buy it.
One evening when he was through eating, he had a massive heart attack and hit the floor.
He died instantly and his wife and children grieve because their patriarch isn't alive anymore.
He scoffed at the idea of dieting and he suffered a horrible fate.
He might not have died if he had made an effort to lose weight.
When a plump woman is here, why do you walk away?
They will supply you with your love needs in every way.
They provide their husbands and boyfriends with happiness.
They’re keeping Catherines and Lane Bryant in business.
No matter what most men say, I’ve found there’s a beauty
in all of these fine females that other guys don’t see!
Throughout the world, these nice women are easily found.
They’re some of the sweetest gals that are always around.
Despite all of the dieting, their numbers abound.
They come in many colors and nationalities.
I’ve been with so many of them; they’ve all aimed to please.
Nothing’s wrong there, they consume too many calories.
They feel so wonderful when they hold me in their arms.
In extra-large size are their enticing charms!
Those “little” girls can be left for Maurice Chevalier.
Where I’m concerned, I’ll take those “bigger” girls any day!
Is yo-yo dieting always inevitable
Is it apart of who we all are
Sure wish there was some magic way
Really this is totally bizarre
Winter months are usually toughest
We pack on the extra pounds
Must get dedicated with spring's arrival
It's really getting me down
To keep the pounds from coming back
Requires dedication and inner strength
We surely aren't all up to the task
To journey that extra length
Rewards are great if you can keep it off
More power to those that do
It sure takes dedication and perseverance
Not all of us can see it through
Well to all those really dedicated souls
Here's wishing you a ton of success
It's certainly a difficult thing to accomplish
But your friends, you'll surely impress
Is yo-yo dieting always inevitable
Is it apart of who we all are
© Jack Ellison 2014