Long Cum laude Poems
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(which above frolicsome gambit I mastered)
After mine wife
asks for this, that
or something else rife
with intent to provide barrel of laughs,
(likened to barrel of monkeys)
yours truly crafts
description how we share mirth
validating how our respective worth
matters each to the other acting childlike
to stave off altercations
that might come down figurative pike
worst case scenario whereby I strike
mine steadfast fine
(prairie home) companion.
Neither rules nor regulations exist
to our made up silly game
whereby whenever
one of us knowingly reaches out
to latch hold of desired item
specified by name,
the other person feigns to hand over
then pulls back same
alluded to object
held aloft (think
non verbal teasing banter)
said motions sustained
moments before until...
participant/ recipient
(trying in vain to grab
their coveted cherished
jackknifed prized possession)
becomes angry as raging bull.
Ofttimes when I pretend to surrender
that specific something sought after
by her royal highness prefers advanced version,
she doth lapse into her guttural patois,
which scrambled, throttled, and vocalized
(back of the throat utterances)
metrically syncopated
(couching unspoken) unclear clues
her primal wordless request
vaguely analogous
to decipher cryptograms,
whereby, I learned to look for patterns.
Yesteryear selective pastimes
whiling away hours
included many a cognitively
challenging endeavors
comprising decoding enigmatic
intriguing looking English language riddles
located within entertainment section
of The Philadelphia Inquirer
no I could never solve sudoku,
but eldest daughter (Eden Liat -
yea "star student" who matriculated
and graduated summa cum laude
courtesy University of Pennsylvania
breezed thru those logic-based,
combinatorial number-placement puzzle.
How bland a marriage devoid of non
establishmentarian activities, none
of which include physical intimacy,
cuz me libido indeed went deep south
linkedin with half dozen plus medications
yours truly readily swallows
prescribed medication to alleviate
mental health issues such as:
anxiety, obsessive compulsive behavior,
palmar hyperhidrosis,
mild depression et alia.
diploma acquired magna cum laude – double entendre
Xlv years elapsed since
I (former long haired pencil necked geek)
bid alma mater adieu,
the quietest kid, who never said boo
nobody discerned handy dandy blues clue
what yours truly thought,
cause figurative blanks he drew
remaining quiet as a Unitarian church mouse
never uttered a dog gone peep
extrovertedness he did eschew
even now two score and five years
after donning mortarboard and gown few
and far between words spoken
courtesy me, a former
Norwegian bachelor farmer
Lake Wobegon mine imaginary home
solely without friends grew
impulse to become linkedin
through schizoid personality disorder
offered solitary existence
alone within emotional wilderness hue
cannot imagine loneliness
(analogous to be bajillion miles
from nearest neighbor
while housed within igloo
mattered not whether gentile or Jew)
at tender growing up age obliviousness
suffused every cell constituting
Matthew Scott Harris
interestingly enough yours
truly quite outspoken
thru dimpled cheeky
adipose characterized kazoo
flatulence courtesy pop slop
incorporating secret ingredient
intended to ward off licentious
pheromone exuding females loo
sing hormonal secretions,
anyway said unmentioned
quite tolerant spouse,
(who remained faithfully
married enduring quarter century)
despite incessant husband
buttuck blasting - courtesy moo
ving odoriferous soundcloud waves
issuing ass him tote across avast spatial plane
resultant impact on par with nu
cull lee air fallout ooh
noxious human air pollution pu
tress hint smell as natural deterrent
to sexual reproduction, nevertheless
semen aligned (alphabetically
by athletic prowess) think queue
wee warriors able, eager ready and willing to
increase chromosomal revenue
blaring semper fidelis
as lucky sperm pierces zona pellucida
wee acted screw yule us,
when call of the wild – bald truth
found me to ejaculate and spew
sticky goo, and stopped reproducing
after daughter number two
me unbiased, but both offspring
attractive in their papa's view.
life is full of treasures
sitting looking out at the courtyard
she is not comely
but has the most precious smile
it radiates in the brightest sunny day
her little wave of the hand
acknowledging my existence
as she passes on the walk
in tandem is her cat
i love watching them react to each other
he unfolds upon the lawn
rubbing his stomach
it is easy to see the joy they share
the old couple emerges across the way
he will secure the door upon leaving
hurries to the parking lot
where he attends her door
securing the belt
soon they leave and will return later
age has left her a bit slower
he manages the door and releases the harness
while she is on the way
he pulls the folding shopping cart
from the trunk
empties the bagged groceries into the cart
makes his way to the door
where she is waiting to enter
next door is the woman who is here
to complete her education
it has taken a few years for the R.N. degree
began years ago as a hospital volunteer
from there to nurse's aid to L.P.N.
she earns her living caring for the elderly
at some senior center, pays the bills
there is more but we never go there
in our short sharing conversations
a broken heart and children states away
she is dedicated to her dream
two letters following her name
to my right and two apartments away
is a woman who fought life in the streets
she spends afternoons with her dog
they are a melding of hearts
a life now existing in a sober ambiance
graduate cum laude of a woman's shelter
there are more jewels i have in this courtyard
separating the roaming cats
from my passion of feeding birds
and they listen, sitting here peace reigns
night they have the bowl i prepare
in case any needs a nightly snack
as mom always said
the real jewels in life
never know a chain or finger
they are captured by the eye
and held forever in memory
where they will serve you well
when life has its' stumbles
they will give you peace
in the worst gale that calls you away
they are life's jewels teaching you
how eagles rise above the storm
Oregon 10/23
I say the word and feign a Freudian slip
From between its legs duplicities drip
Often doubling as a quip and tasting chalky, just a bit
History will record the troubling truth
that I never existed if I don’t submit
I’ll submit this thing as if it’s a soliloquy
while being transparent with reverse psychology
When transparency is brutal it packs a voice
and reverse psychology, feudal and conundrous
remains my voodoo doll of sadistic choice
I’ll submit to this contest and play my part
of being a number somewhere south of the winners art
Once again I’ll suck up to the system
and once again with all its heart the system will suck me down
without even a gesture of orbiter dictum
A social mirror once said, “we love you, submit to me”
I used to show it what I wish I could really be
but it cared more for its own scripted ego
and tried to love me like a gas-lighting lover
so I gave it the finger more than ten years ago
I’ve been told that only the cream earns Summa Cum Laude
I graduated Some Come Later from the hallows of a Christian god
So how should I wear the facade upon this stage?
I shouldn’t use “dude”, nor cliched kitsch like I just did
But I’ll not to be sullied by a tired script from a mirror’s page
Yet for the scripted glory this poet pines
He rolls his eyes at the rules, and colors colors outside the lines
Prismatic angles he declines and spanks his colors with twisted sticks
With blinding tinnitus in his transient sight he thus surrenders
and submits (to) his magniloquentesque amateur parlor tricks
Earth to novice poet... Dude, submitting is not as painful as it seems
Novice poet to Earth… No Dude, you know when falls the silent tree
I hear poetic voices but my poetic choices have disqualified me, so
this is my last reverse transmission into my pathetic poetic pipe dreams
Thank you kindly. No offense but I should just go
She's
becoming
part of the order
of the tattooed butterfly
she has ceased to speak
has four metal wheels for feet
A chorus of numbers on her arm will forever chant to her inner being
they'll whisper to you everything you don't really want to ever know.
She graduated summa cum laude at the University of Auschwitz,
with a bachelorette degree in "work will forever set you free".
many others dropped out-leaving their chrysalis behind
herded into gas chambers-becoming tattooed butterflies
turning into clouds...…...stories never survived
ashen raindrops...................crumbling psalms
tapping on faces...…………………….truth becoming fable
a thinning and gleaning of ages
endless brutality becoming art
She finally left the flesh behind
became a tattooed butterfly
her tale will not survive
time never embalms
it crumbles all things
truth becomes opaque
a cleansing of the stable
as brutality is re-labeled art
It then becomes a weapon
of...…………...grand...…………..denial
~ ~ ~
when onset
of periodontal disease didst rear
innocuously unbeknownst then,
that...nada one tooth experts could spare
though grievously sad to bid teeth adieu
now, tis gratitude these words
pour favor at a tear
and second to none false teeth
at age LIX doth veer
rill lee inspire this
very satisfied patient
February of 2018th year.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
back in the day
aye gladly placed trust
asper resigned then questionable oral fate
before hairs turned gray
joining high achiever pact (and pack)
to endure academic gauntlet
divesting global incentive
with alacrity, humility, tenacity
and thus this poetic disquisition
to pay homage to aspiring successful
and alumni sporting ring of brass
aye honor within elite chattering class
one significant summa cum laude graduate
sum decades ago,
perhaps reclining, reflecting, and reimagining
latex gloved gloved hands (now retired)
'pon some tropical island paradise,
or freshly mown grass
incognito with sun glasses
revels Doctor John Brent
perchance bred (bingo) begot astute lass
or lad exemplary instructing
thru his own blood, sweat and tears
who (for x number of years)
treated patients in an ever growing mass
sieve lee tending a family dental practice
within Harleysville, Pennsylvania
asserted superb reference (on my behalf)
via telephone to Doctor Montgomery
(aye presume) also enjoying
his twilight phase (if alive - I hope).
His voice was loved,his colour not
Only the former him fame brought
Summa cum laude in study and sport
His origins drew him up socially short
Jim Crow laws were the sinister wedge
Which left him at his country's edge
His nation's shame burned deeply within
Denying forgiveness for his darkness of skin
He longed for the time when men would be equal
His involvement with communism delivered the sequel
At a time when McCarthy sought to unmask the red
So many suffered paroxysms of dread.
In 1929 after his London show he set out for home late
It was then there occurred a miracle of fate
Singing rang out sweet and crystal clear
Voices of Welsh miners singing songs to them dear
Amazed by their power in their penniless plight
He became their brother in arms that very night
Colour was not what bound him to them
But the poverty to which politics the lower classes condemn
So there was born a rich and mutual harmony
Between a star and a proud but poor army
They both knew the the sting of imposed misfortune
Refusing to give up their independence of tune
He bestrode the world like a black Colossus
Until he was pulled down by destructive bosses
Who would brook no challenge to their status
But his example lives on to fully elate us
This man ,Paul Robeson,a tower among men
Met persecution with stout acumen
He stands out as our beacon of light
For all the victims who fought the good fight.
WARM AS THE FIRST CARESS OF MOTHER SOFT AS THE FIRST FLOWER IN BLOOM
THIS SUMMER IS BORN FROM DREAMS OF MORNING & WISHES OF AFTERNOON
BREATHE THE PERFUME OF THE SWEET GARDEN FILL YOUR SENES WITH FRESH ;
WATCH THE DAY BREAK AS IT POURS OUT OVER THE CALM AND PLACID LAKE
SURVEIL THE SUN AS IT LIGHTS THE SKY ANEW. (BREATHE)
GO AHEAD AND MARVEL AT THE SEQUENCE OF TIME THAT ELAPSES FOR SQUIRREL,
BIRD AND BUTTERFLY. THEY KNOW THE PASSAGES OF SEASON BETTER THEN WE.
READY AND WILLING THEY TAKE US BY THE HEART AND JOIN US TO THE SYMPHONY
OF LIFE AS WHISPERS OF LOVE, COME CALLING IN THE MORING :
CUM LAUDE MY FELLOW TRAVELLERS COME CLOSER , COME AND SEE
CUM LAUDE MY FELLOW TRAVELLERS COME CLOSER , COME AND SEE
THE BEAUTY OF THE ROSE ,THE HAPPINESS OF A JONQUIL MELLOW AS A BUD
THE BEAUTY OF THE DAISY, AND THE BLISS THAT MAKES HER SENSES FLOOD
WARM AS THE FIRST CARESS OF MOTHER SOFT AS THE FIRST FLOWER IN BLOOM
THIS NIGHT IS MADE FOR GREATER SIGHT AND THE BIRTHING OF NEW LIGHT
BREATHE THE PERFUME OF YOUR SWEET GARDEN, FILL YOUR SOUL WITH PEACE
CUM LAUDE MY FELLOW TRAVELLERS, CUM LAUDE COME CLOSE AND SEE
CUM LAUDE MY FELLOW TRAVELLERS, CUM LAUDE COME CLOSE AND SEE
LIFE IS GOOD WHEN WE BELIEVE AND TRUST , IN GREATER THINGS THEN WE
LIFE IS GOOD WHEN WE BELIEVE AND TRUST, IN GREATER THINGS THEN WE.
"A great wind is blowing, and that gives you either imagination
or a headache," Quote by, Catherine the Great
(A gush of wind slights and pauses alighting a piece of paper
to rest between two men lounging atop of beach chairs
sipping on iced tea from two tall glasses)
*Mr.(I)dealist & Mr. (R)ealist
(I): Wherefrom did this piece of paper hail?
(R): OMGoodness! Why not ask the paper?
(I): How silly can you be? You know that the piece of paper is an
inanimate entity, ergo, bears no voice.
(R): Then I will simply say to you, why ask me if what you say be
thus?
(I): Then I will answer you, why not ask the wind since it bears
life, hence, it has a voice.
(R): Howbeit so, that the wind have a voice?
(I): Simply by sucking on your middle finger and then hold it up,
singularly, then you will feel the wind's answer--I would thank
you to face your outstretched finger opposite from me.
(R): Ahh! Now I can feel that winds answer and it hails from
behind us where that lonely house sits and its upstairs glass
doors are left wide opened. That was profoundly impressive of
you.
(I): Providence had nothing to do with that. It's thanks to me having
graduated cum laude.
(R): Didn't make summa, hmm? Now why are YOU holding your
finger up?
(I): I feel a storm brewing.
The line up for our great exodus took hours
As we entered the screaming arena vision going white my heart stopped-
Just for a second
Then it started again full speed as I waved a wave-
Not a thank you for coming wave-
But a wave of relief
As I marched to my seat my steps became longer more urgent
I fought the urge to give that professor a hug-
And that professor the bird
Finally sitting in my designated spot was painful
I wanted to run across that big ugly stage and never look back
Sitting there slowly picking through the alphabet the pressure started to dissipate-
The late nights-
The barely making school payments-
The overly priced never used textbooks-
It was all gone behind me
And though happy there was a small sting in that
Finally came my three seconds of recognition
Walking slowly they called out Summa Cum Laude
And for a moment I questioned if all the extra hours–
And perfectionism-
And fifteenth drafts of an essay was worth it–
But I didn’t care because I was proud
I walked off that stage and disappeared into the crowd-
With something gained I didn’t have before
Maybe it was knowledge
Maybe it was a higher moral and social etiquette
Maybe it was just a damn piece of paper
But I did it
3/22/23