Norman

NORMAN
Norman was a character a funny man its true,
He was a country copper, till the force said bugger off blue,
He was there in Mungindi when two Squatters piddled on plants,
Grabbed onto ole Carruthers and booted him up the pants,
You cant do that said ole Loostrang, he’s the mayor of Dirran-bandi town…
You must be the bloody horse, said Norman to this drunken slobbery clown,  
So he threw ole Carruthers into the Black Maria, {squatter = Land owner}
 Loostrang went there swiftly hobnail booted, Ass on bloody fire,
So he got moved to Texas by the Squatter whinging boys,
And Norman booted the wrong asses, in Texas too just to bloody annoy, 
{Texas town population 500}
So Norman left the force,

In Dirranbandi town he left his mark,
A drunken guy was whinging,
Bad toothache  said the drunken nark,
Dentist, Norman, thoughtful, was a singing,

So he sat on ole Aspro Jack to shut him up,
Jerked a few teeth, till he fixed the squire,
Who Sobered quick, got his mouth to shut,
Cos Norman wheeled the pliers,

Norman found some revolvers,
In a Squatters  great collection,
The photo was in the paper,
In my mommas recollection,

Of the guy who held up the bank,
Was Norman to perfection,
Then his wife phoned up, said why,
Is there money not too dry,
In the ice box frozen section?

Don and Nell knew bye and by,
Norm was the master of mis-direction,
 Had money parked in all the banks,
On the commercial travelers selection,

So there in Goondiwindi,
 he was eating breakfast at the caffe,
when three thugs arrived,
 tipped soup into his bloody lap,

so he punched piss n pickhandles,
out of three of the would be stars,
and mopped up the floor,
threw all three out the door,
some really terrified Galahs*
   {aussie pink n grey parrots}   

I was having a beer with Norman,
He said “we’ll  pick the bar,” {fight em all}
I said which end, just the Mormons,
He said “not yet, ah ha ha”:}


Don Johnson

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