Long Budweiser Poems

(A hermit crab has just realized that he can barely fit into his shell and the only other 
creature in earshot to hear his cries is a sea anemone who lives on the hermit crab's...

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"RED"


Listen he said, “How many ways can you see Red?”

“Well”, she sighed, “Let’s start with Cherry Pie, 
oozing it’s juices all over your chin
and plump moist Red Raspberries staining your sheets, then again
what about Claret...

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This is the best beer I've ever had. 
Yes, The best beer I've ever had. 
No beer is really bad, but 
This is the best beer I’ve ever had. 
 
Beer’s invention was accidental I’m told. 
Something about stored grain...

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Birdie’s Bar
August 19, 2008

To the old Plymouth
Mom came to salvage her brood
We’d hear the crunch of gravel beneath her feet
She dragged us three sleepy eyed girls
Sullen
Curious 
Non-entities
We took our mealy mouths up and followed her
Out...

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One

Chloee? Yes Reginald! 
Why do they call us Dachshunds, Wiener Dogs?
Maybe they call you a Wiener Reginald!
You cut me off at the legs with that one Chloee!

Two

Chloee? Yes Reginald! Have you ever smelled mothballs.
No Reginald it's too...

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(*Note- I suggest you read this with a boom box going in your head. Can you dig it?)

Yo,
Now gather round, my brothers ,settle down while I regale ya
with some tales about my lady from the...

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5/16/22



Here let me paint you a drawing
My skin crawling
Something stirring and calling
As the leaves begin falling
It's appalling
That people are always squabbling
And gossiping
Yet another mauling
It's no longer enthralling
The temperature of the water freezing or scalding
People aging,...

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These old boots, they've sure been around. They don't know where their goin' but they sure know where they've been. Drinkin' Corona and dancing with a Mexican Senorita in Jaurez, the smell of perfume and...

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Super Bowl LI Hype Rocks Houston And Viewers


Superbowl LI promises to be one helluva game
With the Patriots and Falcons vying for championship claim
Houston will stage the uplift off this Sunday, February 5th
As a global audience...

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On the occasional Tuesday night,
with my mother at work
and my sisters and I 
in our pajamas,

my father would invite over
his brothers
and his friends 
from the lumberyard
to drink beer and play
five card stud.

I was allowed 
to...

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I cannot be caretaker to you
self-medicated, altering perceptive fields by choice
seeking to numb the pain, escape mundane routine
circumvent natural boredom that could instruct
straight life is as subtle
as a babe moving its lips while sleeping
or as...

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ZEBRA    COMPLAINT

My mom gave me these stripes at birth: 
In the veldt they‘ve proved their worth
For hidin’ from predators
Or National Geographic editors,
But in practice these stripes are a major 
Eye-catcher not to...

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Imagine if angels are real, and they look down in sorrow and gleeful expectation?
Imagine if God chooses some to come down to the earth and make things 
better?
And they agree, for choice is real even...

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AS IT IS

I am going up the ladder of life.
Killing all the blow flies in sight.
Knocking down the spider webs as I sing to myself.
I am feeling so alive.

I am going to put up new...

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Just imagine if you could time travel,
What sort of mysteries could you unravel? 
I would stop every minute of the day,
Pull down the bosses trousers for all the deductions in my pay.

I would go back...

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From the moment he turned adult legal,
Triple B been hot rodding to the liquor sto’e

Making them daily late night beer runs,
and popping them tops with his beefy guns

Liquid numbmification is his stupor education,
sober thinking everyday...

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From the moment he turned adult legal,
Triple B been hot rodding to the liquor sto’e

Making them daily late night beer runs,
and popping them tops with his beefy guns

Liquid numbmification is his stupor education,
sober thinking everyday...

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I REALLY DON’T CARE IF THE SUN IS A STAR AND HE DOES

I want grape juice and sex all the time.
All he can think about is spray painting.

He looks at me like I am the...

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Bring back blonde babes 
with big boobs and butts, 
showing bare bellies, wearing black and brown boots.
Because they get the bikers and  big boys 
to bring in big bucks buying bottles of 
Budweiser and,...

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You’re wasting your weekends on electronic lovers,
They float by like ghosts on the screen,
You’re kissing Clark Gable and you waltz Fred Astaire
In re-runs you’ve already seen.

You’re changing the stations—you change your emotions—
From channel to channel...

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You’re wasting your weekends on electronic lovers,
They float by like ghosts on the screen,
You’re kissing Clark Gable and you waltz Fred Astaire
In re-runs you’ve already seen.

You’re changing the stations—you change your emotions—
From channel to channel...

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Those curious carousing kitties of Company C
They keep me awake, every morning until three
They sing in meows that turn my aged blood cold
I would not care except I am mean, fat and old.

I hear them...

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I got sundowners,
I got Rainclouders,
And I cannot eat
I’m physically and emotionally exhausted
But I cannot sleep
I self-medicate with
Budweiser, Michelob, and Miller Light
Those are the drugs
that get me through the night

The DOC tells me my livers way...

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So much time we have wasted here on Earth,
Never living up to the expectations given at birth.
Sitting around all day, just watching the time pass.
Because all you are to that university is a $ sitting...

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DECADENCE

I pinch myself to feel the real
it seems so darn dang surreal
this decadent Dallas life I live
questioning locals who 
miss the thrill

Oysters and wine
culinary fine
no crime
all smooth
this perfect
Bible belt of
Gospel truth

day and night time
rendezvous 
Chase,...

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