Long Bordello Poems

Limericks II - Nature Poems and Animal Poems

Dot Spotted
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a leopardess, Dot,
who indignantly answered: "I’ll not!
The gents are impressed
with the way that I’m dressed.
I wouldn’t change even one spot!"



Clyde Lied!
by...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Galloping hooves broke morn's peace in Soup Creek's Main Street
When Jimmy Smith rode in from Bar 20 his face white as a sheet
He stopped at Sheriff Koplins office and banged heavily on the door 
"What's...

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If you're passing by Soup Creek our peace loving town
Do pay us a visit but wear a big smile not a frown
Our town is open to everybody all colours and creed
But check in your guns...

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In the town of Milton Creek the sun was starting to rise
And Jenna was planning for Ranger David a lovely surprise
Unbeknown to him preparations were now well underway
To hold a party in his honour on...

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I.
When Sal rode slowly into Victorville,
he saw an empty street, buildings unfilled,
Sol half-expected this, it’s why he was here,
but even to him, it always looked weird.

The letter they wrote had been clear on the cause:
Vampires,...

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It was the day after the new year and there wasn't a peep
The folks of Soup Creek were hungover and in a deep sleep
The mayors annual meeting was to be held that afternoon
And the venue...

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"The Mallard" and other Animal Limericks

The Mallard
by Michael R. Burch

The mallard is a fellow
whose lips are long and yellow
with which he, honking, kisses
his bawdy, boisterous mistress;
my pond's their loud bordello!



On the Horns of a Dilemma...

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i need to stop frowning and epitomizing
and sell this Caddy to the Cardinal
trying to let it miss your attention won't fly
since writing is speech even if somewhat removed
or fit only for bouncy news anchor banter
pancake...

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...See, when she let her guard down, when she looked deep,
she saw things that left her somewhat disturbed,
Roxanne didn’t know her man’s favorite color,
and that fact didn’t really upset her.

She didn’t know that much of...

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Red power mode
White digital
Blue logo

My, oh my ...
sweet apple pie!
Patriotic American cheese is turning sour Kraut commie
Democracy is Wisconsin curdling ... penicillin shot
needed between the ailing ballot box,
sho’ ain’t Louisiana Purchase forthcoming

Lady Liberty is bowing...

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alternately titled: breast damned fallacy hi-jinxed!

In her “60 Minutes” interview aired
Sunday (March 26th, 2018),
the porn star known within red district
as Stormy Daniels bared
her "naked lady" version

swearing oath of honesty,
she emphatically dick cleared
on a stack of...

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He plied the Mississippi River on the paddle wheeler 'Dandy Dame'.
Gamblin' was his profession and three-card monte was his game.
He became very creative at palmin' that elusive ace of spades.
Such dexterity and sleight of hand...

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 Homeless, destitute with nothing more then a backpack and cigarettes 
down the rabbit hole she went, no linen tablecloths just stricken wood,  
in a house of ill repute;.
She could not refuse the hunkering...

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I was one of those fools, lurching
about in the streets. My chin, gushing
its cherry juices, was sliced open by some
ghastly blade flying in the night, a weapon
wielded by pure madness. I was crouched behind
a bordello...

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Haiti is a basket case.

They marched him down the gangway by 
the feared Tonton Macoute, armed men dressed in Hawaii shirts
and slacks, partly concealing their guns
The young thief shivered, I thought they were going to...

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Is he absurd to appreciate the abnormal?
Is it admirable to accept her appreciative acrobatic antics?
He's a cool cat, she's his celestial canary caught.
A kept creature can be clearly quite costly.
Young Brandon builds her his best...

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I ran across a recipe book
Called ‘Cuisine For Clientele’,
On the cover was an unchaste cook
Making prosti-soup and broth-el.

On the back it stated that ‘Eating
Is the most human obsession.
Bar for the one that bears repeating;
The world’s...

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EPA is not the fellow
Who made the Animus yellow
All that toxic waste
For mine profits has laced 
Our bed which becomes a bordello*

Author's note: Please check out what happened to the Animus River in Colorado. ...

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Fimbul Frost 
It was cold in the valley domestic animals were snug in barns even hardy sheep 
and goats came indoors. Clear sky and freezing, the moisture in the air turned 
into diamond dust flittering...

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“No, I have no regrets.”

Golden-winged
One of love’s truest voices,
If you’ve ever regretted
The early abandonment
The life of the bordello the circus
The street performances vocal and acrobatic
The early blindness thankfully early passing
The altered states of your mother’s...

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Within this slice of bleakMoment i am pondering my
madness AND do sane people wonder if they are 
quite crazy -- this i cannot know /  but if while
thinking of my insane need for sanity...

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I am out here on the strip.
Making men look at how I sway my hips.
I know many are in search of a relief (with)
No significant relationship in the mix.

No money
No sex
I have to take care...

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Prior President and Husband

To anyone of you did it recently occur
Either stayed in House or still a Senator
Lacking ability after another ability
While rapidly on their way to senility.

Nomad may be assigned nomenclature
From slim pickings emanated...

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