Long Bob hope Poems

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The Presidential Medal of Freedom

Previous winners were Elie Wiesel,
Mother Teresa, Bob Hope,
Norman Rockwell, Rosa Parks,
Walt Disney and a Pope*…

B.B.King and Yo Yo Ma,
Dylan and Pearl Bailey,
Frank Sinatra, E.B. White,
Tom Hanks and Alvin Ailey…

Meryl Streep and I.M. Pei,
Spielberg and De Niro,
Harper Lee, Casals, Aretha – 
Every one a hero.

Shockingly, another name’s
Been added to the list,
With whom most honorees, I think,
Would hate to coexist.

For if you read Rush Limbaugh’s quotes,
So shameful, cruel and mean,
You likely would agree his presence
In that group’s obscene.

It should have come as no surprise
For such a bad decision
Is what’s to be expected from
The master of division.

*Pope John XXIII
Form: Rhyme


Premium Member Trivia Trivia Trivia

Two rats can have over a million descendants
In eighteen months, talk about prolific
Don't know about all youse guys out there
But this guy finds that quite horrific

You'd produce enough gas for an atomic bomb
If you farted for 6 years and 9 months
Know a guy that could produce enough gas
For an atomic bomb by farting just once

Tigers have striped skin as well as striped fur
Now how damn interesting is that
A Ronald MacDonald once robbed Wendy's
I would guess he got his order fast

Tipping at Iceland is considered an insult
Sounds really civilized to me
The longest flight of a chicken is 13 seconds
It crash-landed and broke a knee

Ribbon worms eat themselves if they can't find food
Now that's pretty desperate to me
Guess they start at the bum and work their way up
Don't think I've ever felt THAT hungry

Bob Hope and Billy Joel were both once boxers
Now I don't mean the doggy type
Chained dogs are 3 times more likely to bite us
Guess they have a reason to gripe

Clocks made before 1660 had only an hour hand
The world didn't have seconds back then
A jiffy is the time it takes for light to travel
One centimeter in a vacuum, I'm overwhelmed

Mahatma Gandhi wrote for advice on diet and exercise
To strongman Charles Atlas, I kid you not 
Whoopi Goldberg's real name is Caryn Johnson
Sure for most of us, Whoopi gets the nod

Who said "I’ve watched a lot of baseball on the radio"
Yup! Good old President Gerald Ford
Way back, people threw eggs at the bride and groom
A custom that today would be deplored
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Trivia Trivia Trivia

Two rats can have over a million descendants
In eighteen months, talk about prolific
Don't know about all youse guys out there
But this guy finds that quite horrific

You'd produce enough gas for an atomic bomb
If you farted for 6 years and 9 months
Know a guy that could produce enough gas
For an atomic bomb by farting just once

Tigers have striped skin as well as striped fur
Now how damn interesting is that
A Ronald MacDonald once robbed Wendy's
I would guess he got his order fast

Tipping at Iceland is considered an insult
Sounds really civilized to me
The longest flight of a chicken is 13 seconds
It crash landed and broke a knee

Ribbon worms eat themselves if they can't find food
Now that's pretty desperate to me
Guess they start at the bum and work their way up
Don't think I've ever felt THAT hungry

Bob Hope and Billy Joel were both once boxers
Now I don't mean the doggy type
Chained dogs are 3 times more likely to bite us
Guess they have a reason to gripe

Clocks made before 1660 had only an hour hand
The world didn't have seconds back then
A jiffy is the time it takes for light to travel
One centimetre in a vacuum, I'm overwhelmed

Mahatma Gandhi wrote for advice on diet and exercise
To strongman Charles Atlas, I kid you not 
Whoopi Goldberg's real name is Caryn Johnson
That can't be, we all love Whoopi a lot

Who said "I’ve watched a lot of baseball on the radio"
Yup! Good old President Gerald Ford
Way back, people threw eggs at the bride and groom
A custom that today would be deplored


© Jack Ellison 2015
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Classic Reel

in the 1940s many movie comedies dealt with heaven
hell, reincarnation, the devil, angels, body snatching
I get a channel called Classic Reel with my Roku
The movies shown are from the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and 60’s

I saw three of these shows this week
the one about hell was spooky in black and white
maybe more creepy than if it had been in color
they were plausible, warm, and witty

I got reintroduced to Betty Grable, Betty Hutton
Bob Hope, Bing Cosby, and Jimmie Stewart
They were intriguing shows, amusing
I was not bored, I was intrigued
Plots much more entertaining than today’s movies

Look Who Showed Up

As I set out 
To jot down this poem 
I had no earthly idea 
Of what would transpose 

And who all would be 
Joining along 
I'm as surprised as you 
To these goings on 

I don't recollect
Any of this being nearby 
All the glimmer and glamor 
Catching my eye 

With my mind letting loose
In the wondering why 
All of these characters 
Are invading my rhymes 

There are seals riding trikes 
Uniformed Taiwanese
Clowns and their like 
With smiley faced knees 

Lepords in tights
Like we need more of these 
A Kardashian or  two 
To put our minds at ease 

Daryl Hall and John Oates
Singing loud 80's tunes 
And what would be a poem 
Without a cow jumping over the moon 

Or a chimpanzee 
Swinging through the stanzas with ease 
Using the tails of snakes 
Like a flying trapeze 

There's even a racoon 
By the name of Rocky we know 
Using his Boogaloo
To sweep dust from the poem 

And look it's Bob Hope
Selling soap on a rope 
To keep it all clean 
With a rated "G" tone

With so much going on 
Inside of this poem 
Guess it's best I stop here 
As this has gotten rather long...


Premium Member Bob and Bing

 
Bob Hope,
at birth Leslie Towns, died at one hundred and his life was an interlope;
admired for his comedic timing, facial expressions, and a great one liner,
the "road" movies with his pal Bing- for comedy there are none finer !

Bing Crosby
at birth Harry Lillis, this man so funny and never ever sang off key,
he did so many things before he died at seventy-two, some with Bob his friend
accomplished much and it is said he was the most admired man to his very end

__________________
September 29, 2021


Poetry/Clerihew/Bob and Bing
Copyright Protected, ID 09-1391-891-29
All Rights Reserved, 2021, Constance La France


Written for the Standard contest, Clerihew 2
sponsor, Joseph May, Judged 10/29/2021

First Place
Form: Clerihew

Premium Member Trivia Plus

Rats can have over a million descendants
In eighteen months, talk about prolific
Don't know about all youse guys out there
But this guy finds that quite horrific

You'd produce enough gas for an atomic bomb
If you farted for 6 years and 9 months
Know a guy that could produce enough gas
For an atomic bomb by farting just once

Tipping in Iceland is considered an insult
Sounds really civilized to me
The longest flight of a chicken is 13 seconds
It crash landed and broke a knee

Ribbon worms eat themselves if they can't find food
Now that's pretty desperate to me
Guess they start at the bum and work their way up
Don't think I've ever felt THAT hungry

Bob Hope and Billy Joel were both once boxers
Now I don't mean the doggy type
Chained dogs are 3 times more likely to bite us
Guess they have a reason to gripe

Clocks made before 1660 had only an hour hand
The world didn't have seconds back then
A jiffy is the time it takes for light to travel
One centimetre in a vacuum, I'm overwhelmed

Mahatma Gandhi wrote for advice on diet and exercise
To strongman Charles Atlas, I kid you not 
Whoopi Goldberg's real name is Caryn Johnson
That can't be, we all love Whoopi a lot

Who said "I’ve watched a lot of baseball on the radio"
Yup! Good old President Gerald Ford
Way back, people threw eggs at the bride and groom
A custom that today would be deplored
Form: Rhyme

Santa"s Works Night Out. a Cautionary Tale

At last it has arrived, 
let there be no doubt. 
That everyone goes crazy 
at the Christmas staff night out. 

Now Santa took the sleigh. 
He did not stop to think. 
For that was very foolish 
with all that food and drink! 

Tooth fairy looked real nice 
so did the pantomime dames, 
but Grinch was asked to leave 
for calling Santa names. 

The leprechauns told anecdotes 
in the spirit of Bob Hope. 
The snowmen all got stoned 
by passing round the dope. 

Santa told rude jokes! 
and some were even funny. 
But everyone avoided 
that randy Easter Bunny. 

Jack Frost he was concerned, 
told the Elves what he was thinking. 
"That Santa"s getting drunk, 
he is doing to much drinking." 

When the meal was over, 
the MC he did stand . 
"Will you welcome live on stage, 
The Boogie Man and his band." 

The celebrations ended. 
"Get on your merry way." 
Santa staggered out 
to try and find his sleigh. 

The reindeer headed home 
they knew the way to go. 
They did not stop to think, 
to take it kind of slow. 

Santa started singing 
a chorus of Wild Rover. 
When flashing lights appeared 
and he was soon pulled over. 

"Lets see your drivers licence 
and please put out that ***." 
"Step out of the vehicle 
and blow in to this bag." 

Oh Santa was locked up. 
You should have heard him wail. 
"You have to let me out, 
you have to give me bail." 

His sentence will be soon 
lets hope the courts a fan. 
For what will happen next year? 
If he gets a driving ban.! 

Poor old Santa Clause 
it is a sorry tale. 
He got community service, 
instead of going to jail! 

By all means leave a carrot. 
A glass of milk I think. 
But don"t encourage Santa 
by leaving out a DRINK! 




© Ned Flanders
Form: Rhyme

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