Long Funnyeaster Poems
Long Funnyeaster Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnyeaster by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnyeaster poems by poem length and keyword.
My frightful steel helmet is so battered, dinged and frayed
It was issued by the Air Force - not a haberdashery store
I don't suppose it would look very proper in an Easter Parade
But it sure did come in handy-dandy when fightin' in the war
For such things as bathin', washin' drawers and so much more
Camouflage nettin' adorned it in lieu of ostrich feathers and lace
Many fellers preferred civilian life sportin' a jazzy, felt fedora
On the march the dad-gum thing flopped about and fell in your face
Twigs, grass and weeds covered it to blend in with the flora
Four-letter words were heaped upon it - of which there was a plethora
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 3 in Carol Brown's "My Favorite Hat Or Bonnet" Contest - Apr 2011
At last it has arrived,
let there be no doubt.
That everyone goes crazy
at the Christmas staff night out.
Now Santa took the sleigh.
He did not stop to think.
For that was very foolish
with all that food and drink!
Tooth fairy looked real nice
so did the pantomime dames,
but Grinch was asked to leave
for calling Santa names.
The leprechauns told anecdotes
in the spirit of Bob Hope.
The snowmen all got stoned
by passing round the dope.
Santa told rude jokes!
and some were even funny.
But everyone avoided
that randy Easter Bunny.
Jack Frost he was concerned,
told the Elves what he was thinking.
"That Santa"s getting drunk,
he is doing to much drinking."
When the meal was over,
the MC he did stand .
"Will you welcome live on stage,
The Boogie Man and his band."
The celebrations ended.
"Get on your merry way."
Santa staggered out
to try and find his sleigh.
The reindeer headed home
they knew the way to go.
They did not stop to think,
to take it kind of slow.
Santa started singing
a chorus of Wild Rover.
When flashing lights appeared
and he was soon pulled over.
"Lets see your drivers licence
and please put out that ***."
"Step out of the vehicle
and blow in to this bag."
Oh Santa was locked up.
You should have heard him wail.
"You have to let me out,
you have to give me bail."
His sentence will be soon
lets hope the courts a fan.
For what will happen next year?
If he gets a driving ban.!
Poor old Santa Clause
it is a sorry tale.
He got community service,
instead of going to jail!
By all means leave a carrot.
A glass of milk I think.
But don"t encourage Santa
by leaving out a DRINK!
© Ned Flanders
"Happy Easter To You!", is the greeting I hear them shout!
Alas, I just lamely roost here, brood, ponder and pout!
I've worked for weeks making eggs and I'm all tuckered out!
All this hoopla about rabbits, I can really do without!
Me, my mom, aunts, nieces and innumerable distant cousins,
Have been producing eggs by the gross and by the dozens.
Every Easter 'tis those wily bunnies earning the gratitude,
Leaving me and my kin with a very fractious attitude!
Moms send their kids to rob the eggs from 'neath our breast,
Telling them the rabbits made them - this I vehemently protest!
I'm thinking of a sitdown strike come Lent next year,
To frustrate those crafty varmints with a message loud and clear!
The kids make appalling designs on the beauties we produce,
And even tint our chicks in lurid hues, adding to the abuse!
The rabbits get all the glory and stir up all this commotion!
They don't lay eggs! I'll disabuse folks of that silly notion!
If I sound somewhat frustrated, well I reckon I am,
As those cunning scoundrels perpetuate their mythical scam!
Us chickens will just have to press on with our usual grace.
The truth will out, then we'll "cluckle" at the egg on their face!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Placed No. 3 in A Chicken Poem In Memory of Armano Aurocano Rock Star