Long Bend over Poems
Long Bend over Poems. Below are the most popular long Bend over by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Bend over poems by poem length and keyword.
Bad bosses wear the same clothes every day
Some of them are called Bob or Bill or Kathy
They smell funny and cry for mommy
Never shake hands with them
You don’t know where their thumbs have been
Bad bosses hate employees who want wages
They kick their dogs and friends
Legends in their minds; they beat their wives
My boss is six feet tall
All of it is *****
Bosses look me up and down
Waiting for me to turn around
They want me to bend over and crack a smile
There must be a factory somewhere out there
That manufactures these freaks of nature
Vaseline does not come with the pay check
When they are done with me
I don’t even get a kiss or cigarette
Far moost o' me
three score minus one year
tethered upon terra firmae where
planet Earth doth veer
(spins upon the global axis
(tilted 23.5 degrees from the plane
of its orbit around the sun),
terrestrial genesis (perhaps accompanied
for Pete's sake by Gabriel
blowing his horn) in all honesty unclear
boot more oven concern
points to thermonuclear
and/or subnuclear
war, particularly at forefront
of thine primate noggin
actively hypothesizing
theoretical armageddon,
when non plus ultra gravitates
with e pluribus unum necessitating
each individual to bend over
and kiss his/her rear
goodbye unless total merciless *****
hue loss atomic fallout immediately
incinerates e'en
the moost savvy profiteer,
which aforementioned prognostication
arose from overbear
ring hazy, hot and humid
dangerous heat spell near
lee approximating insufferable
temperature nearing triple digits
(along Eastern Seaboard
of United baked States
makes this human,
an immediate convert to climate control
(though he happened tubby already)
basking, glorifying, and luxuriating
within delightful 60º Fahrenheit mere
really expressing gratitude for such
creature comfort donning my
stretched out birthday suit,
(yet thee moost comfortable leisurewear
then thrift store "special bag
mountain of clothes
as mooch as Yukon sales,"
no matter mine ill mannered
mirrored reflection doth jeer
at such a sorry sight, and/or
laugh reading interlinear
monologue colloquy,
which message gleaned between lines,
and should this poem be red aloud,
thy orgasmic passion linkedin
with humming HVAC, ye would hear
courtesy hove cochlear
(hollow tube in the inner ear)
sensitive to deafening sounds...so beware!
I once was one twenty, now I’m two fifty three
I’m twice the man that I used to be
I gave up smoking because they said it lacked taste
Now I can’t see my feet because of my waist
The doctor said my lifestyle might kill me
I said I’d live longer if he didn’t bill me
He said try to bend over and touch your toes
How about I stand straight up and scratch my nose
My wife says I don’t understand why you are so hard to reach
My parents were the ocean and shoreline, I’m a son of a beach
You need a colonoscopy is what the doctor said
If I were a politician they’d have to remove my head
We may be equal as we walk hand in hand
But you’re still in my shadow when we lie in the sand
Here’s a flower not bloomed so what’s new
I guess I should say this bud’s for you
Don’t tell me you’ve heard my excuses before
I just made it up as I came in the door
Yes I’m much more heavier than I used to be
I’m twice the man when you look at me.
The wages of sin are just never paid.
Try as you might you can't make the grade.
Came home from work all tired and forlorn,
My back hurts, my feet hurt, I've bunions and corns.
I've pills for my back, my neck and my shoulders,
No sense in complaining, I'm just getting older.
I rarely sleep now, I just pass out,
Then I wake with a start 'cause my dogs must go out.
The cat's waiting patiently by the back door,
As the dogs race excitedly across the floor.
Then I go to the bathroom to swallow my pills,
Half an hour before breakfast, it's my daily drill.
I bend over double to brush out my locks,
Took a coughing fit and peed in my sock.
I'm just getting old I tell myself again,
It's my punishment now for a youth filled with sin.
The taxman called: “You’re being audited”, he said
I needed that like a hole in the head
The doctor said twins; it was triplets instead
I needed that like a hole in the head
My wife said: “No more babies, get out of my bed!”
I needed that like a hole in the head
We’re all getting sick; the pipes are made of lead
I needed that like a hole in the head.
The vegetables in my garden, due to bugs are all dead
I needed that like a hole in the head
My doctor gave the “Bend over” instruction I dread
I needed that like a hole in the head
The monies in my account, to the creditors fled
I needed that like a hole in the head
Transmission fluid on the garage floor has all been bled
I needed that like a hole in the head.
So if you’ve got bad news, don’t hold it back
May as well add some more to the pack
My head is already full of holes galore
How much can it hurt to add one more?
In case you haven't guessed, my Catch Phrase is: "I needed that like a hole in the head".
You run...
from pillar to post,
stick your neck out,
bend over backwards
just to satisfy them.
They're "your friends,"
or so you think.
They ask for the moon,
you give it two-fold.
The thanks you get?
Well, they watch you...
brush your pearly-white teeth,
rinse it out with Listerine
so your breath smells...
minty-fresh.
But surprise, surprise!
It stinks to them in your time
of need. Forget the lips;
you don't even get
a kiss on the cheek
for your troubles.
They show you...
zilch appreciation
Not a thank you
for all services rendered.
Come time for them..
to return the favors
They grimace and ask...
"Who are you?"
Sweet.
Submitted for...
It Is What It Is..........Or Is It? Poetry Contest (Winner: 8th Place)
Sponsored by John lawless
Date written: 12/04/2020
Well how about that, it's nap time again
It's three o'clock in the afternoon
Us old guys don't have a say in the matter
When it's time it's the same old tune
We nod off while watching Oprah Winfrey
Then wake up and curse at the world
Really wanted to see her special guest today
Got angry and my pillow I hurled
My old age is finally catching up with me
Once was filled with vigor and vim
To bend over and tie my shoelaces now
The result is really quite grim
And so it goes, with this getting old thing
Father Time marches on relentlessly
Used to be able to sleep through the night
Now I toss and turn restlessly
Which means I catch up in the daylight hours
Matters not what I'm doing at the time
When the clock on the wall cries out 3 PM
It's onto the couch I climb
This is a cheeky cover of John's festive suggestive...
So there goes my Christmas
What has Bazball done
Our Ashes tour over
Before it has begun
So a very merry Christmas
And a happy new year
At least Rooty got a ton
A Beauty for all to cheer
So there goes my Christmas
Test sh*tfest in the sun
The hosts in the clover
Us out gunned and out spun
So there goes my Christmas
Bazbull we will now shun
Silly supernova over
The nonsense now done
So a very merry Christmas
And a happy new year
Our boys did bend over
Were shaft*d up their re*r
So there goes my Christmas
Repeat defeat does still stun
Return to white cliffs of Dover
With the urn.. pull the other one
So there goes my Christmas
Brendon hope you had fun
The Ashes are over
Before they had begun
Bazball’s over…Bazball's over
The end ain't near tis already here
Bazball's over…Bazball's over now..
Although I'm in my autumn years I still feel full of ginger.
But I'm slowin' down - my brittle bones so as not to injure!
Alas, I can't do everything that I once would choose.
It now takes a bit more effort to bend down and tie my shoes!
I can still manage to bend over and touch my toes,
And if need be could do a few pushups I suppose.
But I must take care not to strain my delicate back,
For fear I'll put the consarned thing out of whack!
I still religiously manicure my resplendent lawn,
But my zeal for keepin' it pristine is somewhat gone.
I may relinquish that onerous chore to the neighbor boy,
But those years of lovin' care I'd hate to see him destroy!
I used to carry the groceries but I seldom do that anymore
I enlist a strappin' lad to tote the bags from the grocery store.
I huff and puff climbin' stairs, so now I take the elevator,
Or if in the mall one is handy, I'll ride the escalator.
Lord, spare me the misery of livin' in a Sunshine Home, I pray!
I'll walk, I'll exercise, I'll do anything You say.
Even faithfully swallow every known vitamin from A to zinc,
Anything, dear Lord, anything to keep me in the pink!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
This "plague" isn't going away anytime soon.
We're openly told this is our new normal.
To bend over and over without any lube.
There's much to be gained by prolonging the pain.
From the made-in-China masks you're wearing.
From the made-in-China parts that go into COVID test kits.
The reds dream of pulling hearts from freedom's chest.
Barbed things are being thrust into our bloodstreams.
One vaccine, concocted from cells of two aborted babies from the seventies...
A boy and a girl, given letters and numbers instead of names.
Just like Jews that were stuffed into Auschwitz cattle trains.
This plague isn't going away anytime soon.
For it's a bonanza for big pharma and conglomerates.
At the deadly expense of the working-class stiff.
While they tell us not to gather in numbers.
The privileged party in Martha's Vineyard.
They released hordes of convicts onto the streets.
To protect THEM from a bug and not us.
They inoculated nursing homes with covid patience
While a mercy ship sat empty in Big Apple Harbor.
Fully equipped with a thousand empty beds...
This Plague isn't going away anytime soon.