Long Baloney Poems
Long Baloney Poems. Below are the most popular long Baloney by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Baloney poems by poem length and keyword.
Leftovers, leftovers what a treat
open the fridge to see what to eat
Chinese from last week
four day spaghetti at a flavor peak?
Something grey from way back when
butterscotch pudding with cracked top skin
Potatoes cooked but with eyes
that salad is hard and dry
Oranges that have fermented
apples that are demented
Look a bag of grandma's stew
didn't she pass in two thousand and two?
Carton of milk that turn to cheese
I think the roast beef has fleas
Fresh mushrooms we did not buy
a half eaten sandwich that waves hi
Green beans with an attitude
slice of baloney like a leather shoe
Eggs with feathers
carrots knitting sweaters
Pizza from World War One
and a loaf of bread having too much fun
Check the cupboard before something screams
looks like will eat that can of pork and beans.
The humble cheese has a secret superpower
Its gooey glory conquers cauliflower
The melted cheddar of fried baloney
The better half of macaroni
The sharp-dressed suitor of apple pie
A fondue tryst with crusty rye
The love child of curds and whey
Eloped with pillow soft souffle
This Muenster does not pursue peasants
The tang of blue can be quite pleasant
Smoked Gouda's so good, seconds I'll take
While leaving room for more cheesecake-
My foodie knowledge was remiss
Thinking all foreign cheese was Swiss!
Don't fret, American, your place is true
What would tomato soup be, without you?
I live in the Northwest, where I can cook
with the best cheese brand of all - Tillamook!
11/12/18
for Write a Poem about Cheese contest
Sponsor: Barry Stebbings
Oh the humanity
the humanity
Oh spare me the grief
thy fake tears
woe is me, mentality
syrupy behaviour
Munchausen propensity
it sticks between my teeth
Oh spare me the pathos
ham acting baloney
Phoney and pathetic
pennyroyal tea fatigue
Histrionic vagaries
self righteous piety
Oh spare me the maudlin
attention seeking thievery
Drowning in poignancy
sentimental molasses
Throw yourself to the floor
overdosing in twee
Oh spare me forever
stomach churning violins
emotional instability
Wallowing in saccharine
exaggerated sob stories
But most of all
the absence of apology
Sentimentality Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Julia Ward
25/05/22
Don't dare hang up the phone
Please don't touch that dial
I've got this idea a-brewing
If you'll kindly hear me out
I often have these hunger pains
Throughout my busy day
And seldom find the time to stop
For a meal along the way
So I got my brain juices flowing
And came to this conclusion
Baloney flavored chewing gum
Could be this man's solution
But how to get the flavor
Onto the stick of gum
When it's baloney that I savor
It must be in the rub
So I go buy top shelf baloney
Take the gum from my pocket...
...remove the lint
Rub-a-Dub this grub like in a tub
Then call it baloney peppermint
I'm now on my way to success
Never stopping off for meals
Ain't got time for none of that
In my world of Wheel and Deal
I've now quite the variety of meat
In the daily meals I chew
If you care to call 1-800-Baloney Peppermint
Then you can chew it too
They don’t give a monkeys
You’ve read what they’ve said
These flunkeys are off their head
Braggadocio pinocchio junkies
Baz cronies nutter baloney utter
Phoney show ponies in the gutter
Stutter one more flutter then splutter
Aussies like a knife through butter
The death of a nation..us all pining for Bazball’s fine dining/opining alright whining degustation;
Amuse bouche (louche with a bag of douche);
Golly gosh Hogwash
Humpty Dumpty Numpty
Total scrotal Tosh
To start (brain fart);
Fish have another swish
Trumpet Bazball strumpet crumpet
Dish of death wish Gibberish
To cleanse the palette (God dammit);
Far too mellow sickly sweet lemoncello
Take a mallet to the Bazball planet (grief aperitif & digestif)
Entree (naysay it's okay.. the way we play come what may every bloody day);
Ruddy veteran fuddy duddy buddies bash
Splash of rash & brash
Off stump chump slump rump
Dash..lash then crash
Flash Balderdash hash
Desert ( just desserts)
Teasing wheezing ego pleasing Trollop
Dollop of Codswallop
With a twist of narcissist mist (you get the gist)
Cheese board (traditions ignored)
Aussie gloat aged goat
Camembert despair
Double header immature cheddar
Out fought and out thought Roquefort
(served with they're crackers and in a bit of a pickle)
Petit Fours (flaws encores & guffaws);
Scoop of NincomPOOP
Tasty bit of hasty bullshi*
Peacocks big bolloc*s
Tripe as ripe as our Gripe
You don’t get a coffee because like Test cricket they can’t do it for toffee
Cheer there is such a thing as political karma
Sneer as your career fell off a pier Keir Starmer
No panacea clear nadir we jeer at sheer drama
Come forth King of the North such a charmer
Life so rife with strife & won’t make it calmer
But better go getter trend setter & vote farmer
Coup not out of the blue...Andy the embalmer
Outwitting Keir who’s been spitting like a llama
Might not become a peer or knight in armour
Rejection then ejection he’s an election harmer
A phony baloney Tony crony no Barack Obama
More banal bananarama than BBC's panorama
Out of date mate like melon & ham from Parma
Chance of return from exile same as Dalai Lama
Lost to a show pony time for a holiday in Palma
It's prime time for the new Raj
Facts & acts must just sabotage
All baloney with no camouflage
Racist fascist pacts back in charge
De facto crypto crony arbitrage
With an aristo phony entourage
Ipso facto know who's the sarge
Nige does show pony dressage
Truth and proof will just massage
Aloof uncouth ranter going large
Just pub banter a bit of badinage
Trump leader of hit populist collage
All aboard greedier tech T-Rex barge
Seedier far right sh*t media montage
Vent at the establishment's espionage
Decent and democratic only a mirage
Bet just cover for yet another barrage
To other bigots & despots pay homage
An abhorrent torrent he does sparge
Hilarious no it is nefarious persiflage
Nutter's not butter but cheap marge
Spread thin in the gutter Nige Farage
when on a lark, this primate shut his eyes
until sight formed slits doubling up as a wink
this earthling stared hard and scrunched brow
unintentionally mimicking,
the familiar Auguste Rodin statue
likened to a pose when one doth think
perhaps said captive pose pondering
(similar to me) about life on other planets
while I stared at lunar surface
akin to a disc or dime sized skating rink
awash with luminescence
and imaging himself whisked away
by an alien, synonymous
to the peculiar millions miles distant pastische
manifested entity than didst slink
a non hue man feline looking cat in the hat
comical creatures decked out entirely in pink
soft halos conjured up saintly mink
or...a far fetched thought suddenly
came to form in my mind,
that this har creature a found missing link
whose nocturnal glowing facade exploding charade
possibly a message
or motion nothing more
than routine smoothing out an anatomical kink
on front and back oh head resembling
a Doctor Zeus characterization,
viz a harmless rat fink
hm...maybe a vestigial progenitor
of former birth by Gaia now extinct
though from afar, the b52 shaped being
aye espied as fur ball affixed
with a long elephant like snout to drink
and appeared to lack occipital orbs,
yet evinced possible mode to see via a chink
impossible to restrain me noggin
appearing to nod and blink,
--------------------------------
hence entranced my attention fixed
from faint (perhaps a feint)
flickr ring meant as playful faux
role playing lunatic humorous acting wry
impossible to decode explicit antics
(of spacial cosmic guest),
no matter eyes nearly shut tight visual
wondering if non verbal communication
of mine correctly interpreted
meant to kibitz and vie
despite impossibility to validate,
a continuous effort yours truly did try
fixing thy gaze, nee straining
with alm aye might to esse spy
if cheap trick concocted entire visage,
which might not constitute life form
(admitting this chap to prevaricate,
and be full of baloney),
himself prone to confabulate
(dropped one to many times on the head)
when this rocky lunar image,
a moon scape comprising nothing
boot ham and cheese on rye.
Late but received her first cheque for alimony
Shot off to this new market based on a raving testimony
She circled and circled… was the ad phony?
No signs… no arrows… was it hidden this Chez Tony?
Suddenly a little hole in the wall behind some random pony!
Groceries for one, a dose of reality, the fish was bony
The smell reminiscent of rancid sanctimony
She settled for cheese and macaroni
a pound of baloney
in honour of their matrimony
and a devil cake for the irony
AP: Honorable Mention 2026
Submitted on March 26, 2018 for contest A HIDDEN MARKET sponsored by JULIA WARD - RANKED 1ST
Snow White's Christmas Gifts
When Snow White awoke on Christmas morning
Seven pairs of eyes looked on adoring
Seven gifts there were placed beneath the tree
Each one lovingly wrapped exquisitely.
The seven dwarfs dearly loved Snow White so
All felt that they wanted to let her know
Doc gave a book titled "Take care of self"
He'd been most concerned lately for her health.
Grumpy got his face painted on a mug
So with each sip taken her heart would tug
Happy gave selfies he'd took of himself
To help her feel joyful inside herself.
Sleepy bought her a pretty alarm clock
So when he nods off she'd give him a knock
One with a chime of a nursery rhyme
It seemed a grand idea at the time.
Bashful was shy so it was no surprise
He'd written a poem just for her eyes
Sneezy cant shop when the weathers breezy
So he'd made her a badge saying "Squeeze Me."
Last one of all was the gift from Dopey
She couldn't help but just love his baloney
Composure cracked with his card saying that
"Love you to the moon and all the way back.”
Bless 'em all!
8th December 2020