Long Baloney Poems
Long Baloney Poems. Below are the most popular long Baloney by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Baloney poems by poem length and keyword.
those long stainless spoons
bring back memories
the noise of the chefs bringing long trays
of food we would soon be dipping into
as trays would make their way along the line
gathering the daily meal the kitchen had prepared
the last duty was the exit dispensing
the bagged lunches we had already prepared
as they made their way back into the streets
the camaraderie in the kitchen
was a daily blessing
sometimes one could hear old gospel songs
or perhaps a newer popular tune
it was a shared joy
the art of bagging baloney and cheese
the banter between volunteers and recipients
and the Thanksgiving meals of the Salvation Army
escorting them through the line, seating them
oh, I could tell you tales from the shower detail
soap, shampoo, new t-shirt, specialty products
the smiles, having removed the everyday wear of life
a chance to walk into a new life for a moment
my walk from the trolley among them gathering
waiting at the door, offers of drugs, street reality
when i must confront the cruelty of humanity
it is here i remember, the heart of Christianity
Oregon 8/3/26
Don't dare hang up the phone
Please don't touch that dial
I've got this idea a-brewing
If you'll kindly hear me out
I often have these hunger pains
Throughout my busy day
And seldom find the time to stop
For a meal along the way
So I got my brain juices flowing
And came to this conclusion
Baloney flavored chewing gum
Could be this man's solution
But how to get the flavor
Onto the stick of gum
When it's baloney that I savor
It must be in the rub
So I go buy top shelf baloney
Take the gum from my pocket...
...remove the lint
Rub-a-Dub this grub like in a tub
Then call it baloney peppermint
I'm now on my way to success
Never stopping off for meals
Ain't got time for none of that
In my world of Wheel and Deal
I've now quite the variety of meat
In the daily meals I chew
If you care to call 1-800-Baloney Peppermint
Then you can chew it too
Late but received her first cheque for alimony
Shot off to this new market based on a raving testimony
She circled and circled… was the ad phony?
No signs… no arrows… was it hidden this Chez Tony?
Suddenly a little hole in the wall behind some random pony!
Groceries for one, a dose of reality, the fish was bony
The smell reminiscent of rancid sanctimony
She settled for cheese and macaroni
a pound of baloney
in honour of their matrimony
and a devil cake for the irony
AP: Honorable Mention 2026
Submitted on March 26, 2018 for contest A HIDDEN MARKET sponsored by JULIA WARD - RANKED 1ST
Makes me giddy…that most ferocious...
Precocious host & toast of diddy men....
Spunky cut sl*t....Ben...sweep junkie....
Funky monkey boast...squat & chunky..
No ruddy fuddy duddy
Croney…phoney baloney
Bucket Hat Duckett isn't
A bloody one trick flunkie..
But a gung ho show pony
In good nick..ramp champ.. taking the mick..
Willy nilly picks...slick flicks
From Sehwag's brag blag
Swag bag of tricks..
Sometimes sinner..silly billy snicks..
Winner against spinner or the quicks…
Heaven sent style…bat on ball, hell bent on heaving..
Tops them all…by a mile...leaving just 2 percent…
Never a defender...run pile smile..despite his trials...
Repeat offender...defiles with wiles & guile…
Never ending..peaky blinding..
Cheeky spellbinding Virender bender..
Nowt finer than our own homegrown wristy
Trippy Mr Whippy with a double 99ner..
Crave heroic stoic diddy Dave darlings..
Rave about our little fave…
Sending snarling gnarly
Giants to their grave…
Thanks to our tiny shiny
Spank tank in the phalanx ranks…
Simple cricket gambit...
See it..hit it..as you see fit..
Nifty impudent imps giving it large…
Sneaky shifty sprites living it large…
Name in lights..plucky puckish lucky zen…
Cocky stocky men..slap happy..
Bucket hat Ben Duckett..
Our diddy giddy wee chappy!
When a couple got a divorce, the wife was going to have to pay alimony.
She thought that she could get away with murder but that was baloney.
They had been married for twenty-seven years and had kids.
She was going to have to pay $50,000 per year because she earned more than her husband did.
She didn't want to lose half of her salary so murder was the direction in which she went.
But she didn't give the Police any credit, she didn't realize that they are very efficient.
The Police showed their efficiency when they arrested her, that was a painful lesson that she had to learn.
Half is much better than nothing and now she's behind bars and nothing is what this stupid woman earns.
(This is a true story)
Within my mind are dusty cobwebs
where drafty breathings edge the corners of remembering
as they hold in a picture stilled that looms,
unchanged but not for lack of a broom;
school books, pads and pens, and bookbag piled high,
uniform dress, blouse, and blazer on the bedroom floor,
shoes plopped in the corner still untied behind the door
covers tossed on an unmade bed, pillow puffed against the frame,
a waking dog with ears alert and a wagging tail ingrained;
I can easily dust and sweep the memories stored there.
The dim light of an old candescent lampshade bare,
shadows of my grandmother rocking in her chair.
Four o'clock as the cuckoo bows,
chains straining the weights up and down,
a baloney sandwich, a glass of milk, she sits waiting
at the small kitchen table, her rosary praying.
Bouncing in the door, hurried and ready to play around,
the smile rises on her face as she puts her knitting down
and with a hug and kiss, she takes me in her arms
as I struggle hurriedly pulling away from her charms,
anxious to go out and play
as she asks, what did you learn today?
Sit, eat, tell me of your day
and I rushing through every thought I could say,
full mouth jabbering of this one and that at school,
today, I've learned the golden rule,
family and the love they give
are all you ever really need to live.
I wish I could go back for just a moment in time
and relive those wonderful memories sublime
now gone
and pushed in the corridors of my mind.
Snow White's Christmas Gifts
When Snow White awoke on Christmas morning
Seven pairs of eyes looked on adoring
Seven gifts there were placed beneath the tree
Each one lovingly wrapped exquisitely.
The seven dwarfs dearly loved Snow White so
All felt that they wanted to let her know
Doc gave a book titled "Take care of self"
He'd been most concerned lately for her health.
Grumpy got his face painted on a mug
So with each sip taken her heart would tug
Happy gave selfies he'd took of himself
To help her feel joyful inside herself.
Sleepy bought her a pretty alarm clock
So when he nods off she'd give him a knock
One with a chime of a nursery rhyme
It seemed a grand idea at the time.
Bashful was shy so it was no surprise
He'd written a poem just for her eyes
Sneezy cant shop when the weathers breezy
So he'd made her a badge saying "Squeeze Me."
Last one of all was the gift from Dopey
She couldn't help but just love his baloney
Composure cracked with his card saying that
"Love you to the moon and all the way back.”
Bless 'em all!
8th December 2020
She asked him where he’d been.
He said she was crazy for questioning him.
She asked him why he stayed gone.
He assured her it was better to be alone.
She asked him when he’d be home.
He reminded her he was never wrong.
She asked him who left the lipstick on his collar.
He told her a lie about the stain being her color.
She asked him how long he’d been lying.
He swore that their love wasn’t dying.
She asked him which smile he’d been faking,
He sighed, silent as the darkness forsaking.
She asked him and he never truly answered.
Because, without a doubt, his love was synthetic.
Love this phony – it’s like saying that baloney,
Is ham or steak…
It’s a story, taller than any tale yet told,
By the heart who, though it is made of gold,
Knows the tale is just a fable to unfold,
A fable meant to keep feelings believing,
In a love that is destined to see through, revealing
All the lies that one heart is using, to convince another,
To keep letting him abuse her,
With the stories that are made up to confuse her.
He tells her she’s crazy and she believes she is,
Knowing she’s crazy… because she’s still in love with him.
What a great title for how I feel!
Was never chained to be a potato peel.
After eighteen, I learned to follow my own stars.
I acted, was in movies and naughty Pangie met writers, actors
and even famed musicians in bars.
No, not two bit wanna-be writers or actors at all!
Those in real movies, published writers and all!
They were regular friends and visitors at my small house.
Don't think for a minute, I am a bookish mouse.
Decades of a wild life, nothing boring, not ever.
Boredom and I do not get along, 'tis not my pleasure.
Hey, I don't kneel to any poet here!
And neither should you, sing of only your soul's cheer!
Be you, no matter what.
If others do not like that, well, tut- tut.
I love writing at zany four a.m.
It seems the world and I get down perfectly, then!
It's the most exuberant time of my
day.
I want to run outside in the cold and shout, ole!
I think I was blessed, the minute I was born.
Some hate that and look at me with green, jealous scorn!
Two authors used me as characters in their books.
Boy, that's exciting, so stop giving me second looks.
I don't try to impress you with words or forms.
Couplets for me, are so norm!
I love real people not filled with baloney.
Poets like that are not my cronies.
I cannot type as most of geniuses do.
So all my poems are one finger-dos!
Yes, and my long-winded comments, too.
Sorry, but can't just say a word or two.
Where am I going, what's the rush?
I tell it like it is....so very much.
So that's only partly who I am.
I still am growing, hoping to be a better human!
I'd like to see more openness.
Tis my crystal dream in this poetical forest.
11-29-2020
4:30 am
Title of poem...credited to.Max Highstein..album "GRATITUNE".
That is how it is spelled ..not a typo.
when on a lark, this primate shut his eyes
until sight formed slits doubling up as a wink
this earthling stared hard and scrunched brow
unintentionally mimicking,
the familiar Auguste Rodin statue
likened to a pose when one doth think
perhaps said captive pose pondering
(similar to me) about life on other planets
while I stared at lunar surface
akin to a disc or dime sized skating rink
awash with luminescence
and imaging himself whisked away
by an alien, synonymous
to the peculiar millions miles distant pastische
manifested entity than didst slink
a non hue man feline looking cat in the hat
comical creatures decked out entirely in pink
soft halos conjured up saintly mink
or...a far fetched thought suddenly
came to form in my mind,
that this har creature a found missing link
whose nocturnal glowing facade exploding charade
possibly a message
or motion nothing more
than routine smoothing out an anatomical kink
on front and back oh head resembling
a Doctor Zeus characterization,
viz a harmless rat fink
hm...maybe a vestigial progenitor
of former birth by Gaia now extinct
though from afar, the b52 shaped being
aye espied as fur ball affixed
with a long elephant like snout to drink
and appeared to lack occipital orbs,
yet evinced possible mode to see via a chink
impossible to restrain me noggin
appearing to nod and blink,
--------------------------------
hence entranced my attention fixed
from faint (perhaps a feint)
flickr ring meant as playful faux
role playing lunatic humorous acting wry
impossible to decode explicit antics
(of spacial cosmic guest),
no matter eyes nearly shut tight visual
wondering if non verbal communication
of mine correctly interpreted
meant to kibitz and vie
despite impossibility to validate,
a continuous effort yours truly did try
fixing thy gaze, nee straining
with alm aye might to esse spy
if cheap trick concocted entire visage,
which might not constitute life form
(admitting this chap to prevaricate,
and be full of baloney),
himself prone to confabulate
(dropped one to many times on the head)
when this rocky lunar image,
a moon scape comprising nothing
boot ham and cheese on rye.