I don’t dream often, but I dream of Jeanie,
the only one who ever touched my Nadi.
I met her bathing in the Irrawaddy.
You’d classify her as an in-betweenie,
but looking pretty hot in that bikini!
She got me going when she called me ‘daddy’!
Jean self-identified as “thorough baddie,”
but never let me see her Kundalini.
I couldn’t leave her working in that paddy,
so whisked her off to Venice. Like Houdini,
she made the transformation: loved linguini:
but part-time jobs (a waiter, then a caddy)
meant I could not afford her. One bellini
cost forty bucks! Forget the Lamborghini!
Categories:
linguini, lost love,
Form: Sonnet
Q: Who is the current Chief of Staff?
A: The resident President.
Q: What is an old, lame, deaf, half-blind Sherlock Holmes?
A: A defective detective.
Q: Who is the magician who ate all the pasta when no one was looking?
A: The linguini Houdini.
Q: What is a day in the life depiction of the First Family on view in the rotunda of the White House?
A: An Obama diorama.
Q: What is a doctor who operates on a big fish to remove the roe?
A: A sturgeon surgeon.
Q: What disease did the star of "Veep" get from drinking unbottled water when she was in India?
A: Julia Louis-Dreyfus typhus.
Q: What is a debutante dance for snakes, alligators, etc.?
A: A reptilian cotillion.
Q: How do people in third-world countries view America's "open door" policy?
A: As an immigration invitation.
Q: Selfridge's was a fine example of what kind of department store?
A: A Victorian emporium.
Q: Where would you be if you found yourself trapped between this world and another?
A: In dimension suspension.
Categories:
linguini, humor,
Form: I do not know?
I love to travel
here and there
today I took the highroad
it was empty and bare
not a single car, bus or taxi
no hikers
most certainly no poets of credibility
I have learned the highroad
to be void of all traffic
just little old me
with my linguini penguin, a bot or two
my trusty algorithm from India
why they might say my story is
the wizard of artificial intelligence
in the land of Galilee
Categories:
linguini, allah, creation, deep, integrity,
Form: Free verse
How do I eat thee? Let me count the ways:
sauced, buttered, plain,
sprinkled with Parmigiano Reggiano,
pesto, pancetta, bacon.
Rowdy rigatoni, flamboyant farfalle,
perky penne, funny fusilli, lovely linguini,
spunky spaghetti,
personality abounds.
An atavistic love affair
with semolina goodness
in all shapes, sizes
like my three Aunt Rosas.
Dear pasta,
I count on you
for your depression-lifting goodness,
accepting no impastas!
When you end up in hot water,
you come out better than before.
You’ve stuck with me
through thick and thin,
mostly thick around my hips.
Pasta al dente, the choice
of strong Italian women!
Categories:
linguini, food, funny, happiness, love,
Form: Free verse
(Try to sing this one to the tune of MARIA from "West Side Story")
Linguini -
the most luscious cuisine that I’ve ever had.
Linguini, linguini, linguini, linguini.
Oh what flavorful things in that dish make my taste buds glad.
Linguini, linguini, linguini, linguini.
Linguini,
I’ve tasted a dish called linguini,
and now I’ll always wish
to have that creamy dish
again.
Linguini.
Style Parmesan has me singing.
Add garlic and wine and it’s zinging.
I’ll always be craving linguini -
the most luscious cuisine I’ve ever had.
April 14, 2022
For Angela Tune's To Lighten The Load Poetry Contest
Categories:
linguini, parody,
Form: Rhyme
Charles Dickens walked into a bar quite pissed
Seems in his latest reviews he was dissed
To eat, 'Side of Linguini'
To drink, 'Double Martini'
Bartender had to ask, 'Olive or Twist'
Categories:
linguini, drink, humorous, literature,
Form: Limerick
lol
its meaning
p!ease do tell
laugh on line
thats just fine
maybe
to dine
lets order linguini
a problem .. you see?
such a blur
lots of laughter
get off my cloud
laugh out loud
lots of love
from above.
xx
Categories:
linguini, poetry, word play,
Form: Light Verse
Lazy, long, leisurely lunch,
Lolling, laughing, lingering,
O'er lamb-stew, linguini 'n lager.
In Louisville, Los Angeles, Las Vegas,
London, Lisbon, or Lyon;
At Los Olivos, Las Palmas, La Paloma,
La Scala, La Baguette, or La Castilla:
Let lunch lie palatially on your palate,
Let lunch slowly settle in your limbs,
Let lunch last always:
Let it lustrate and luminate
Life lived long and lived well.
Categories:
linguini, food, life, love,
Form: Alliteration
Linguini Limerick
She seemed short and was teeny
And had eaten a lot of linguini
Italian sure knew how to speak
Danced with one cheek to cheek
Did it while wearing a bikini.
Jim Horn
Number 2,900.
PoetrySoup should automatically
put number and date on each poem.
Goal is to write 3,000 poems
(limericks) by end of year.
Categories:
linguini, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Just
In time corpse shine twilight sun had tainted my inner vision
Twisted
Shooting blanks at the rooster just supose another number feeling somber
Doesn't any wonder?
Torpedo
Torn,
The inclusion within vile pathetic outrage
Shooting blanks as busy as Tyra Banks in bikini eating linguini
Torpedo, remember Frank Serpico?
Frantic in Autumn looking brightly colored orange
In pivotal choices sense of remoseful inclusion
In dirty laundry vile smell who could tell
A window opens air will blow to breath in the steam,
Shouts of glory to untold story morning glory;
Shooting blanks getting lost in the shark tank
Dellusional
Insanity
Romantic interlude toward vanity
In tuned harmony to its hidden beasts menagerie
Shooting Blanks in the phone at the door
At the beach while Mrs. Polly eating a peach.
Categories:
linguini, art, childhood, death, faith,
Form: Free verse
As I stepped inside the building
A simple smell left me content
I spoke my wishes to a lady
And away with her I sent
I could hear a gentle sizzling
My stomach growled and arms went limp
A buttery garlic smelled appeared
And so I saw the Endless Shrimp
There were only five choices
But five choices are all I need
From the sweet and spicy wood grilled
To the linguini I shall feed
On to the second platter
I shall become a blimp
For there are no limits
To the Endless Shrimp
How do you think they do it?
What makes it so good?
By the time I had my third fill
I began to feel some pain
My stomach stretched just like a balloon
And so here ends the reign
Over fifty of them consumed
And to the car I’d limp
And never would I forget
Tonight’s Endless Shrimp
Categories:
linguini, happiness,
Form: Rhyme
(This is a fictional poem)
My arms, legs and ribs have been broken and I'm wearing a neck collar.
It happened when I went to a five star restaurant and was charged three hundred
dollars.
All my wife and I had were a couple of steaks.
When i told the owner that I didn't have enough money, a lot of bones started to
break.
He dumped a pot of linguini and clams over my head and then jabbed me in the
nuts with a fork.
He burned my hands on his stove and I started crying like a little dork.
He started beating me and he wouldn't quit.
He beat me so hard that it made me ####.
You may be laughing at me, you may think it's funny.
But you won't find it so amusing if you ever go to that restaurant without enough
money.
Categories:
linguini, food, funny, husband, wife,
Form: I do not know?