My Bawdy Valentine
That week was the farmer’s convention
Their ladies at home sought attention
Twas Valentine’s night
Thought I’d do alright
I had quite a naughty intention
The farmer’s young wife caught my eye
She hid my car keys; I asked why
She said, sounding flirty,
“D’ya wanna get dirty?
Your car keys are in the pig-sty.”
I was told she’s an outrageous flirt
When I told her she looked pretty hurt
She said, “It’s a lie
they tell because I…
have got nothing on under my skirt.”
I said, “Let’s have a drink and then dine.”
She said, “Dry White would go down just fine.”
“A Large one?” I asked
She said, “Boy! You’re fast,
Can you wait till I’ve finished my wine?”
If I thought I was in for some fun
I was shocked when my plan came undone
The farmer returned
My backside was burned
I won’t say where he pointed his gun
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