Candy Limerick Poems

Though craving their sweet choc chip pieces
I’m boycotting candy by Meeses
I loathe, nay abhor
This global trade war
Trump's tariffs – what a crock of faeces!

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 My cravings flaming in a dumpster fire
Ridding me of my secret heart’s desire
Every chocolate bar
All candies in a jar
Gone so the raver in me...

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Santa sang as he approached the streets.
Couldn't wait to give out some treats.
From the window, he looked East.
He saw there was a feast.
Rode back and...

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     Santa Claus sure is fine, and he’s dandy
     On Chanukah he gives out the candy

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Finally, it is that time of the year  
Lights, eggnog, with all the Christmas cheer         ...

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Let's get involved as a community by collaborating together on Limericks like the one posted here. If you want to join, send me your limerick(s)...

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Countless wrappers were strewn in the yard
and the sugar was kicking in hard.
All Hallow’s bequeath? 
A new set of teeth 
that would max out his...

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There once were three boys who were neighbors
Getting dressed for Halloween they did labor
At my front door
They kept grabbing for more
Instead of candy they got...

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abracadabra I wanna grab ya 
don't tell Da and don't tell Ma 
a Halloween gala  
a ghost town, caw-caw  
abracadabra I wanna grab...

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For me and my pals, it's many long years.
We grew up, married, and we have careers.
These guys remind me of when
'twas the best candy bar...

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Let it not annoy my dear boy,
Picture's a ploy, let's share some joy,
But Daddy said plainly,
That Mommy had candy,
Not Almond Joy, but Daddy's toy....

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Established in our acts of greeting.
Found and sounded in a meeting.
Manners present, kindness sown.
Etiquette of which is shown
Throughout a standing or seating.

Extending common courtesy
Is most...

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What have you done, for you look like a perch?
On Botox you should've done some research
I won't sugarcoat it
You look very bloated
Your face is engorged,...

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A lollipop, she wanted to devour
But her painted lips were tainted and sour
Goodness sakes alive
She broke out in hives
Hidden by a mask, she chose to...

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Watch out for a girl named Andie.
She goes around stealing candy.
And worse, she will try
to steal a girl’s guy,
for Andie also is randy.

She’s sure an...

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