This is for all the ladies out there
That no doubt will relate
To all the woes of wearing a Bra
To which there is no escape
So, firstly we have the bra that rubs
Which stings, that being a major flaw
When finally you rip that bra off
It’s rubbed your skin red raw!
The bra where your boobs bulge out the top of the cup
Or hang out underneath
You have paid big money for this bra
Yet, you are still getting bra grief!
Then there's the bra where the straps “continually” fall down
They will never sit in place
Pulling them up constantly
Trying to hide the absolute annoyance on your face!
We then have the bra that lacks support
With movement your boobs just jiggle about
Let’s hope there’s no need to run
As you will totally knock yourself out!!
Lastly, the underwire bra
This one worse than all the rest
Looking down in complete horror you see
A large round wire poking out your top sitting on your chest….!!!
Monoku Series: General Hospital
i had a brain mri last month
as expected, they found nothing
i asked could i do my own anesthetic
doc said, "knock yourself out"
last week i went to urgent care
it felt neither urgent nor caring
they had a specialist:
her specialty is diseases of the rich
she longs to open up her own clinic
but doesn't have the patients
my doc's advice: if you're skinny, don't eat fast
if you're not, don't eat... fast!
isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do,
"practice"?
overseen on a patient's chart:
no fever or chills but spouse claims she
was very hot in bed last night
Humor Attribution: #3 - Edmo Snord, #4 - Tom Lehrer, #7 - George Carlin, all others found online and converted
to monoku form by yours truly.
Enjoy your Sunday, everybody!
This is for all the ladies out there
That no doubt will relate
To all the woes of wearing a Bra
To which there seems to be no escape?
So, firstly we have the bra that rubs
It stings…. you can’t take much no more
When finally you rip that bra off
It’s rubbed your skin red raw!
The bra where your boobs bulge out the top of the cup
Or hand out underneath
You have paid big money for this bra
Yet, you are still getting bra grief!
Then there's the bra where the straps “continually” fall down
They will never sit in place
Pulling them up constantly
Trying to hide the absolute irritation on your face!
We then have the bra that lacks support
With movement your boobs just jiggle about
Let’s hope there’s no need to run
As you will totally knock yourself out!!
Lastly, the underwire bra
This one worse than all the rest
Looking down in complete horror you see
A large round wire poking out your top sitting on your chest….!!!
Me heads been hit many a time in me life,
I've had staples and stitches what am I like?
I've been hit hard by fists, feet and balls,
as a goalie dived into posts and floors.
In a minute one of me rhymes don't fit,
bare in mind this head of mine's been hit.
Playing football once, knocked out after headbutting the floor,
when fists knock me down, I get up, get hit some more.
I do not want to gloat, brag or boast,
about times I dived into the goalpost.
Though me heads been hit many a time,
I'm a kangaroo allergic to lime.
However, the thing about goalkeepers that aint no fun,
is when you knock yourself out you stay on the pitch cus you're the only bloody one.
Those last lines don't fit,
it's cus me heads been hit,
but i'll write about that another wine please.
I’ve had enough…
Of your whimpering cries…
Your slanderous comments…
And outrageous lies.
So keep it up…
You self-righteous *****…
I’ve been called far worse…
Even a volatile witch!
You think it’s funny…
This stupid little game…
Go on, have a laugh…
I still hurt just the same.
If the game must be played…
Let Karma take place…
One day you’ll have regrets…
Three times back in your face.
So have a great time…
Knock yourself out…
But don’t forget…
Karma’s out and about!
The Boxer.
One punch,two punch knock yourself out.
Two boxers in the ring hear the ref shout.
Three punch four punch in the second round
five punch six punch knocked to the ground.
One'er, two'er, three'er,
before the ref could count to ten
the boxer's on one knee.
Then up boxing once again.
The boxing match was over by round four
cause the boxer's opponent couldn't take it
anymore.
So now our boxer is a champion for all to see
but come next week, he'll have to box me.
The next best thing to the famous
Mohammed Ali.
How many times can you express friendship and support
Only to realize these feelings will never be returned
How many times can you fool yourself
Saying, "This is okay; nothing was promised"
How many times can you pick yourself up
Pretend it doesn't hurt; act like all is fine
How many times do you have to swallow your pride
After giving all you had to offer
How many times will you go through charades
When there is no hope to build upon
How many times can you knock yourself out
Hoping your futile efforts will be appreciated
How many times will you have to learn lessons the hard way
Without losing the happy spirit that has carried you through trying times
How many times can you feel like you still have self worth
When these false feelings are always proven wrong
Is this all there is to life
Then send in the clowns; I should be part of their act
My old forty fives lie dormant in my attic
There were so many one hit wonders in our time
I lived my youth listening to music
As Troy Shondell moaned “This Time”
When Robin Luke sang “Susie Darlin’”
The Bobettes had “Mr. Lee”
“Shout, Shout, Knock Yourself Out”
Lolita’s “Sailor, Your Home is the Sea”
Claudine Clark wailed “Party Lights”
Ral Donner crooned “Please Don’t Go”
The Exciters said “Tell Him”
Travis and Bob said “Tell Him No”
“Mission Bell” by Donnie Brooks
“One Tin Soldier”, Coven said it all
Russ Hamilton sang “Rainbow”
“Baby, The Rain Must Fall”
“Sorry, I Ran All The Way Home”
The Rocky Fellers Sang “Killer Joe”
Corsairs crooned “Smoky Places”
Bob Moore sang about “Mexico”
There must be 10, 000 one hit wonders
Don’t know which ones to choose
Still love “Let’s think About Livin’”
And the Fendermen’s “Mule Skinner Blues”
I remembered watching the Hit Parade
“Cindy Oh Cindy” and “Marianne”
“To Know Him Is To Love Him”
"Like a Tiger" by Fabian.
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