Funeral Humor Poems

When my doctor calls me in, says I’ve got complications, 
let’s not blow our savings, on round the world vacations,
my pre-paid funeral, is all that...

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A morning coincidence, to school we laughed and skipped -  
A cloud that drifted through the sky, from my mind it slipped. 
For many...

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There are lots of things that are black and white,
Like zebras and Newcastle United, they are a good team and get their fans excited.

Penguins are...

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Satirical Journal Entry #1
Attempting Suicide:
Just The Beginning!
If I killed myself today would anyone notice? Would anyone be at my 
funeral?
If so, would they come just...

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To whom it may concern,
For time will surely tell,
I write to my loved ones
To say that I am well.

I scarcely can recall
A time more I...

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Death snared me in its icy grip...
It brought my end of days.
I saw not the bastard coming...
First a bus and then the grave.

I should have...

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Here lies little Bill –
He took such a bad spill…
It happened at his still,
Making liquor was his thrill

Here lies gentle Jim –
His heart was never...

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Where is Twitter?
Who is or what is X?
I do not mean Super X?
I want to tweet a rumor
I was away for a few days
I am...

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The Vote
The lights are out, the night is still,
The window’s ajar, there’s a sudden chill.
Goosepimples multiply all over my skin,
I know what I’ve done is...

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Obituary


The following notice recently appeared in the Toad Suck Monthly News Express. The management apologizes for the tardiness of its publication:

Ms. Villonia Beebe has passed...

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The yellow rose is filled with sunshine and joy,  
she says welcome back or good luck.  


The red rose tells a story of...

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I just read the Kama Sutra Richard Johnson said,
It could leave you ruptured or very possibly dead:
But him and his lover Doris went ahead and...

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I used to be a curate in, and Beaky
named a North York’s town
while taking a sip of his beer 
and eying the company round.
We knew...

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Bill Dyer

Here lies the crisp remains of Chef Bill Dyer
Tumbled head first into a deep fat fryer.

Carlos De Rava

The statue on this grave is of...

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The sun blazed like a hearth
Upon the helpless earth
As I strutted from the stream,
My calabash filled to the brim.
I saw him lose his footing,
He fell...

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