Dad Hilarious Poems

Mum said "birds of a feather flock together" 
so I searched for a man who liked similar weather 
until Dad stressed "opposites attract" 
and I...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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It is what it is
I see the sobbing boy holding his empty cone,
ice cream scoop on the floor as his dad hugs
him and says, Don’t...

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There's lots of play to underwear. 
I'll try to be discreet. 
It stretches to contain my boys 
Who hang down t'wards my feet. 
Elastic waistband...

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A wide awake snooze made me scream
Held me in the clutches of a well-earned dream.
An elephant in pajamas came running up fast.
He pushed me aside,...

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Son: Would you make me a sandwich?
Dad: Poof! You're a sandwich... that's rich!
That one's a hoot
Pretty clever to boot
Don't scratch if the damn thing don't...

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The silliest neighbors are getting on my nerves.
Always wanting to borrow a car or a snow blower.
Asking for money, and I wish I was kidding.
My...

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Ugh, Why Must The Missus Vacuum At The Crack Of Dawn?
(circa: early December 27, 2018 morning)

There appears to be a
virulent (possibly deadly) strain
of housekeeping virus
Hoover...

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(tongue in cheek
by this moldering geek.)

Thy marriage doth incurably ail,
even strangers would vouchsafe
     (with nary any cavil),
    ...

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I met the most amazing woman today
So pretty, such a looker all the way
Everything about her had me reacting 
In the most sensual ways
So interesting...

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Dad’s oldest sister, Aunt Jolene blew into town in the middle of the night.
She was armed with knowledge, ready to straighten us up, and make...

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A long, long time ago, there lived a family of tin-beings,
in an underground basement in a garage. Oil and grease
were their favorite delicacy. Mechanics always...

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it was the night before Christmas. and all in my house. Everyone was sleeping 
even my pet mouse. The year before I was bad all...

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The situation that my pappy is in has gone from bad to worse.
It all started on the day when he began to carry a purse.
Things...

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"Are you a boy or a girl"?

Angry Dad asked son five times

Dunked in water,  his answer:

Son: (gasping)  "Mermaid!"


All rights reserved ~~Cynthia Buhain-Baello~~05.28.15


The Dodoitsu...

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