I began playing this game with myself
So at any moment you are holding something
How would you kill an intruder
I mean some of them are obvious
Throw the tea then use the cups like enamel
knuckle dusters
Deodorant like a spray
Handy flame thrower if you have a lighter in your hand
Toothpaste takes some thought but if you can squeeze it onto your hands and go for the eyes
Hairdryer and plug
Like a pair of Noon
Chucking blades as I charge towards them
Sometimes good to share
Pen would get the wickedness treatment
Spooning eyes out on stalks
Balloons depends on what they are filled with
Tell them
I will
Not one psychopath in here
There is definitely more than
Took me eons to work out
Mainly tricks in may
A brill
I ant ain’t an auntie
Started working on scenarios on stairs in water
Has anyone ever been xylophoned to death
Embarrassing, so embarrassing, what will I do?
The things I've done my whole life through!
I'll reverse the hairdryer and vacuum them up.
I'll mix them with the dog food and feed it to the pup.
What a mess, oh, what a mess, I reversed the flow.
Embarrassing things now float around like snow.
I pray to the lord in heaven that nobody sees.
It's like one big gargantuan, embarrassing sneeze.
Old grandpa, silly grandpa, have you lost your mind?
You're as crazy as a coot and a loon, combined.
This is no place for an ancient, befuddled gnome.
We are going to have to put you into a home.
ANGELS WITH GREEN FACES
Saturday evening, big night everywhere,
Six teenage girls, hormones to spare,
gather in the bedroom to prepare.
Mirror, hairdryer, tongs for curling,
giggles and squeals, music blaring,
make-up, perfume, clothes for sharing.
“Mum” came the call, upstairs I trot,
enter the bedroom after a knock,
step back in horror, what a shock,
six green faces covered in face pack,
half-dressed, excited, hair tied back,
trying not to let the green mask crack.
Red lipstick, have you got some there?
and black tights, can we borrow a pair?
Please could you blow-dry Sarah’s hair?
I smile, comply with all their requests,
observe the whole going-out process,
masks removed, now dress to impress.
Duties done, I return downstairs,
shortly after, a sound in our ears,
clumping of heels, in fact six pairs,
enter for usual inspection format.
Is this skirt too short? Do I look fat?
Is this jacket okay with that?
Of course, we never dared to state
other than that they looked great.
Teenage egos are easy to break.
Front door slams, we sigh and smile,
peace descends for a precious while,
bottle opened, wine poured, chill.
Ruth Mawdsley
Nov 2019
Saturday night bath.
Mother dries hair with towel.
For mass on Sunday.
My head is bowed low.
Towel is as rough as strokes.
Better than hairdryer.
Childhood ritual.
Happy memories held dear.
Still wish you were here.
N/A for
for 'Senryu on Mother' Poetry Contest
posted 2/1/2020 12:00:00 Judged 1/8/2020 11:54:00 PM
We’re having a little break from home
and had planned a busy day,
after a leisurely breakfast
we would soon be on our way.
We sauntered down to the restaurant
and were shown to a window table,
I fetched a bowl of blueberry yoghurt
whilst my hubby got a ham bagel
Before a morsel reached our mouths
the fire alarm began to ring,
we hurried to vacate the room
and we hadn’t eaten a darn thing!
A stream of hungry hotel guests
were ushered out of the door,
my tummy started grumbling
I could hear it gurgle and roar
We stood out in the freezing cold
thankfully there was no actual fire,
and we subsequently discovered
it was caused by a faulty hairdryer!
We crossed the road back to the hotel
and returned to find our original seat,
but hubby wasn’t starving hungry
on the way out he’d grabbed a sausage to eat!
5th April 2017
Shaken to the marrow by phone alarm’s raucous call
want to throw the demon fatally against the wall
The humming of the fan gives some solace
yes, I did wake up in my familiar right place
Faucet, shower, hairdryer, the mundane sounds of washing up
herald life one day at a time, languidly creeping up
Stepping out into the porch to check my roses, old and new
sweet symphony of myriad morning birds, my spirit does renew
And there, the subtle but unmistakable knock on my heart
Shush, not now! I chide it with a timbre, icy cold and tart.
Whooshing sounds of cars speeding by as I head to work
silenced by radio, reporting crimes of a world gone berserk
Noise of frantic keyboard tapping usurp most of my day
fringed by meetings where not everyone is sure of what they say
Sound of my footsteps in the parking lot, while heading back
triggers the nagging knock, now sharper in its attack.
Dishes, oven, fridge, I quickly swerve though the din
almost ready to concede to the lucid calling within
As night falls, the worldly voices slowly fade and vanish
I start writing poems. Tapping of my fingers, I always do cherish.
Written on 06/18/2016
What a wonderful day to give my Yorkie a bath
Peanut, my four year old boy Yorkie,
sixteen pounds of love and affection,
a coat of blue silver and tan long straight hair
that parts down the middle of his back
He stands with his head in the air with courage and confident of himself
Peanut is due for a bath
which of course he knows
With warm water and shampoo
I lather and rinse him off
Carrying him outside
wrapped in a towel
brush and hairdryer in hand
Oh, he looks so beautiful
long blue silver and tan long straight hair
wagging his little short tail
with a fresh clean scent
My husband had mowed the lawn that morning
so there is lots of loose grass
I didn’t mind Peanut rolling in
but it had rained at least two inches last week
with muddy standing water behind the shed
Guess where my angel decided to go?
He just couldn’t pass it up
a straight path into the muddy standing water
I grinned and shook my head
Whether I like it or not Peanut is due for a bath again
9-22-2014
Poetry Contest:I Love My Pets!
Sponsored by: Laura Loo
-I want to dress in Diamonds and be a glamorous girl
-I want to travel around I want to see the world
-I practice late at night in five inch heels
-Nightly in the mirror with laughter and squeals
-Caught within a glance
-All the place I would go if given the chance
-Capturing all the peoples love
-Without breaking a single stance
-Pearls of wonder around my neck
-Strings of beauty amazingly set
-To me they bring passion into my world
-It's nice to look into the mirror at a beautiful girl
-A tap on the floor beginning my midnight hoard
-For with this routine I would never get bored
-A chance in the glass without hesitations flask
-I reach for the hairdryer and raise up my past
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