Please, refuse the disguised rag
That wearer still makes a hag.
Be bold to say “No, thank you”
While leaving “Later, see you!
A coat of curious color
That offers the eye pallor,
Long threadbare to soonest sag
And straight goes into a bag….
Delight not in robe you’ve got,
Last wearer had liked it not;
Underneath its arms ink blot
And on its left breast blood clot.
Choose the true wisdom or don’t:
On this talking not a lot;
In ignorance one could rot
While asking A Big Fool’s “What?”
Categories:
hag, allusion, analogy, clothes, image,
Form: Rhyme
Jester invited the purple hag to dine.
She noticed his weird nasty ugly whine.
She gives him voice lessons.
In twenty-eight sessions.
Their partnership is delicate and fine.
Categories:
hag, 3rd grade, 4th grade,
Form: Rhyme
He wanted to rest. She wanted to pester.
His eyes closed. She yelled “Lester!”
The garage door needs fixing, she began to fester.
He was getting tired of his wife, Old Ester.
Can I please have a tiny bit of peace?
She asked if he had yet signed the lease.
He was exhausted from an eight-hour day.
She wanted him to work; he wanted to play.
He grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV.
She began to bug him rather incessantly.
She wanted him to mow the lawn or clean his car.
She was no longer his girlfriend, a shining star.
She had become a chore, a drudge, a hounding hag.
He wanted to get away, in a car that could drag.
He left the house, pretending to go get a cigarette.
That was twenty-six years ago, and he is not back yet.
Categories:
hag, husband, wife,
Form: Rhyme
We slowly walked along the beach, granddaughter and me,
in silence, save for the distant roaring of the sea.
At times, she ran ahead, dancing, skipping on the sand
once in a while, returning to take me by the hand.
With heads bowed, we both scoured earnestly along the shore
She and I were both aware what we were searching for.
Somewhere among the seaweed, crab shells, and old fish bones,
we would find those unique rocks with holes she called Hag Stones.
Occasionally, a game or two; some won, some lost.
It usually involved pebbles, skipped, piled, or tossed.
Screams of laughter, wet bottoms, falling in the water;
both tired, we head back home to mother and to daughter.
We slowly walked along the beach, granddaughter and me,
in silence, save for the distant roaring of the sea.
I have more answers because I'm older than is she
But I also have more questions, so it seems to me.
Categories:
hag, beach, granddaughter,
Form: Rhyme
He is around you now, the wizened woman said.
She had blue and purple hair, and she looked a hundred.
The lines in her face were crisscrossing like a pie that fell.
What would she know, this woman who professed to know.
Who is it? I asked, fearful that it might be my angry uncle.
It is a young boy, she said, about nine. He has caramel skin.
A bad guess if she was guessing as I am pasty white like glue.
And dark eyes, she told me; I think his name is Little Wolf.
My ears perked up like my German Shepherd’s ears
When he hears the truck of an Amazon delivery truck.
Little Wolf was the name of my imaginary friend
When I was three or four.
He had seemed real to me then.
Now at sixty-nine, I had almost forgotten him.
He is your guardian angel, she told me.
He helps you do the right thing.
She had credence now.
I saw wisdom in her eyes.
Her highway lined face changed to kind.
I was convinced.
Categories:
hag, spiritual,
Form: Prose Poetry
I am the scary Bella
I haven't got a fella
To bring me my umbrella
in the pouring rain.
Had one, he was yella
Kicked in his patella
Ran away from Bella
limping, screaming pain.
Categories:
hag, crazy, fear, horror, howl,
Form: Rhyme
bounty brags blushing
purpled eyes puncturing
hoisted hag seducing
callous crimson tuning
into hankering hall
she opened door
gaunt glottis shrunk
like leering lust's
none inside thrust
"I'll revive him,
mystic May's wind
pebbles pruning pills"
then she left,
reincarnation at crest.
19:12:24:07:30
~Note~ An imitation of Lascelles Abercrombie's "Witchcraft: New Style"
Categories:
hag, horror,
Form: Sonnet
There once was a crusty old hag
whose poetry made people gag.
She once wrote a sonnet,
the folks threw up on it
and tossed it away in a bag.
She went to a psychic who said,
while turning up cards black and red,
“I can see why they gripe,
just stop writing this tripe.
Have you thought of knitting instead?”
Categories:
hag, humor, poetry,
Form: Limerick
Sea Hag at last got to Popeye
Spiked his spinach with Viagra (Oh my!)
Olive Oyl was overtly outraged and insulted
When a SCANDELOUS, sad affair soon after resulted...
Written on: 6/1/2015
Submitted for: Kim’s Clerihew contest
Categories:
hag, funny,
Form: Clerihew
She came out of the sea at twilight
Weak and trembling, bent with age
Her hair entwined with seaweed
The pounding surf a watery stage. .
She stood awhile and listened
then with the most frightful groan
Beaconed with a bony finger
To her minions in the foam..
Out of the waves they scrambled
Creatures from the dark and deep
Unleashed this one dark night
From their prison did they creep..
The danced the Funky Monkey
while the stars shown overhead
With abandon celebrated freedom
From their dark and watery bed...
So had the sun and stars aligned
Just this once in untold years
To break the spell they suffered
And dry their unending tears..
And with the light of faintest dawn
They turned from their heavenly shore
All crept back into the thrashing sea
And their likes were seen no more
I wrote this with my grandson several years ago..i thought it would be fun to bring it back again..
Categories:
hag, fantasy,
Form: Quatrain
Winding up in the hospital is something nobody would need.
We can say all you fools were the victims of greed.
Captain Culpeper thought he could get away with the money.
You saw what happened after that. All of you suffered injury.
The captain threw away the pension he earned on the force.
His daughter changed her name, and his wife filed for divorce.
He will have the book thrown at him ignominiously,
while all you other guys will get off rather lightly.
That event on the ladder was such a humiliation.
You will spend time together here for rehabilitation.
Before Mrs. Marcus, Emiline, and Monica came through the door,
Bengie threw a banana peel into the middle of the floor.
Mrs. Marcus slipped on the peel, and down to the floor she went.
An unending stream of laughing came from each injured gent.
Never had anyone seen such an amount of merriment.
Is it true the best medicine for any ailment is laughter?
We might say each one of these guys lived happily ever after.
Based on the 1963 film "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World"
Categories:
hag, funny,
Form: Rhyme
She came out of the sea at twilight
Weak and trembling, bent with age
Her hair entwined with seaweed
The pounding surf a watery stage. .
She stood awhile and listened
then with the most frightful groan
Beaconed with a bony finger
To her minions in the foam..
Out of the waves they scrambled
Creatures from the dark and deep
Unleashed this one dark night
From their prison did they creep..
The danced the Funky Monkey
while the stars shown overhead
With abandon celebrated freedom
From their dark and watery bed...
So had the sun and stars aligned
Just this once in untold years
To break the spell they suffered
And dry their unending tears..
And with the light of faintest dawn
They turned from their heavenly shore
All crept back into the thrashing sea
And their likes were seen no more
Co-written with my grandson Jordan..9 yrs old
Categories:
hag, fantasy, imaginationdark, dark, stars,
Form: Quatrain