[Warning - This Acrostic may contain profanity…
I have checked and I couldn’t find any, but, well
something’s just kinda niggling me… honest guv]
Heroes of the ‘super’ variety
Often disguised from polite society
Lovers, fighters, angry blighters
Yesterday’s pilots, freedom fighters
Feline-like women that purr just like cats
Under the radar they fight beside bats
Counting on suits that’s are mostly machine
Kicking ass when you are huge… and you’re green
Ice maidens freezing, their foe to confound
Nothing’s too weird when there’s heroes around
Godzilla it seems is no more wanted dead
Superman flies like a bird, it is said
Hawkeye with arrows will make villains quiver
Iron man trusts that his suit will deliver
The thing is the thing, and he’s always a rock
Batman gives Joker and Riddler a shock
Antman is simply the size of a speck
Truth is, that none of them even say ‘heck’
Most kids have tablets at which they will stare
And that’s why young kids, anytime, anywhere
Never not ever, shall hear heroes swear
[Oops! Don’t look down.]
Categories:
guv, hero,
Form: Acrostic
One world in a trillion
Where everything clicked
In a Goldilocks zone
Where a switch had been flicked
Busted
Perfection soon rusted
When late party crashers
Were grab it and smashers
For eons they blended
Their world complemented
Till fresh out of college
With abundant knowledge
Busted
I’ve loved and I have lusted
I’ve taken and I’ve given
Not much to be forgiven
I never drilled for oil
But I used a small amount
So when the man says dust to dust
I hope that doesn’t count
Busted
Some plastic, some gas and inflammable stuff
So, no use in saying it wasn’t me, Guv
When I get my call from above
I’ve had my heating high
And I’ve had my water hot
I’ve left the faucet running
When I only washed a pot
Busted
That’s me done and dusted
I shall meet my creator
Through no incinerator
The mess we make as humans
Means every man’s on trust
For every year that we spend here
The more world we can bust
Busted
I’ll soon be soil encrusted
And I’d rather like to know
That the cost of me... was low
Categories:
guv, earth, environment,
Form: Rhyme
The mayor and guv’nor did clash,
Both feeling empowered and brash
And we all await
In city and state
To find out whose credit will crash.
The mayor says schools will be closed
‘Til September, which we all supposed
But the guv, standing tall,
Said it wasn’t his call
And implied he, for now, was opposed.
When two egos like theirs are involved,
It is hard to get something resolved.
You would think in these straits,
With so much on their plates,
That their rivalry might have dissolved.
Categories:
guv, power,
Form: Limerick
Alas, due to the insidious coronavirus situation,
The guv ordered barber shops closed for the duration!
Now, I suppose that is of no concern to a bald-headed bloke,
But since I still have a few strands on my skull, it ain't no joke!
What am I to do sans my barber deftly wielding his shears,
Taking some off the top and trimming about my ears?
If the virus prevails many more months, I'm afraid,
That I must stifle my scruffy mane with a luxuriant braid!
Categories:
guv, angst, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Through it all, this crazy season,
There has been one voice of reason:
Andrew Cuomo, New York’s guv,
A Democrat we all can love.
He gives us info, up-to-date
And all he does communicate
Is done with calm and strength and flair;
Nobody out there can compare.
Yet he is not afraid to doubt
The powers-that-be and call them out.
He’ll challenge, criticize and fight
When what he hears seems not quite right.
To me, the most important thing
Is not the data he does bring
But rather how he gives us hope
Without which, we could never cope.
Categories:
guv, appreciation,
Form: Rhyme
The wheels on the London bus go round and round, till the driver crashes it Tequila style. Everyone loses their heads, except him. He gets into a Black Bomber taxi and pops open a vodka. Need a lift guv?
Being Normal Is Boring - Broken Aeroplanes, Screwed People, Alternative Writing,:)
Jimmy Boom Semtex
Categories:
guv, analogy, city, community, travel,
Form: Free verse
Susie teetered into Bill’s office, wearing a skintight miniskirt
Sat on Bill’s knee for dictation. She was an outrageous flirt
Soon Bill was smitten and couldn’t resist her ample charms
He forgot about his wife and kids and fell into Susie's arms
That was the lusty beginning of their clandestine love affair
Young Susie is a man-eater and calls Bill her "Honey Bear"
Bill’s wife discovered his deception and asked for a divorce
She’ll keep it out of the media for a huge settlement, of course!
As soon as his divorce was finalised he made Susie his wife
Susie’s only twenty. Bill wanted a carer for the rest of his life
Bill’s eighty-five years old and Susie stroked his thinning hair
and denies her attraction to him is that Bill’s a multi millionaire!
They say age doesn’t matter, especially when you are ‘in love’
That depends if you’re the ‘secretary’ who's married to ‘the ‘guv’!
Within a year Bill was dead and Susie worked for another VIP
I've heard she takes dictation while sitting naughtily upon his knee
Age doesn’t matter when you’re in love Contest
Sponsored by Julie leigh Rodeheaver
12-16-17
Categories:
guv, age, humorous, marriage, work,
Form: Rhyme
Spare a copper guv, for many fought for you,
We went to war and many mates died there too.
Buy a Poppy lady, I'm not a beggarman,
The trenches were full when it began.
A penny in the pot if it's all you've got,
The whistle blew, boys and men got shot.
Now that was a war in a distant year,
But it's not just the old who shed a tear.
Young men are still going fight far away,
We pray they come home safe one day.
Why you may ask, do they take such a stance,
It's to give this world another chance.
For a world of future for those not yet born,
A world that's not filled with hate and scorn.
So I ask you to spare copper or two,
To help all those who dared to look after you.
Remember they fought, died or were maimed,
Your life and your freedom today was claimed.
Will you spare a copper and buy a poppy today,
Please wear it with pride on Remembrance Day.
© Dave Timperley 08 November, 2017
Categories:
guv, giving, humanity, remembrance day,
Form: Rhyme
First the bunnies came en masse
and chewed up all our fine green grass
the students had to watch them mount
and they multiplied till we lost count
Now, the deer are out of hand
they've overrun our fertile land
if they're not culled, and soon, we fear
there'll be no roses left 'round here
So when you say they're nice to watch
well, I could kick you in the crotch
it's getting hard to drink our tea
dodging bunny poo and bambie pee
Wait, what, you say that it's our fault?
to progress, we should call a halt?
stop building condos in the woods
and love the wildlife as we should
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Headline from Globe and Mail March 30, 2010:
University of Victoria's rabbit population facing cull
Headline from Times Colonist June 15, 2013:
Oak Bay faces deer dilemma; shoo them into Saanich, some say
Well, sorry guv, that's not for us
we'd rather cause a bloody fuss
we'll cull you, if you don't agree
and celebrate with a cuppa tea
Categories:
guv, animal, environment, humor, nature,
Form: Couplet
For years preachers have ranted and raved to control the activities of hookers!
Well, I'm proposin' that the guv-mint control the sale and use of pressure cookers!
We've seen the havoc these lethal weapons wreaked upon Olde Boston Towne.
Congress should act, now that the furor over gun control is settlin' down!
There should be background checks on little old ladies who have a yen for one,
And there should be a waitin' period to buy one just as there is for a gun!
Even though they may be designed to hold twelve quarts when locked and loaded,
Congress should limit capacity to six quarts so as not to be accidentally exploded!
I'm really concerned that I broached this urgent matter, upon serious reflection.
I fear some politico might read this and make it an issue to help in his reelection!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Categories:
guv, humorous,
Form: Couplet
THE BLACKING OF THE HOLE
Hello! Mars!
Are you there?
We got some money for you down here!
Do you need some foreign aid
I tell you what we'll do
there's lots of money comin in
we'll beam some up to you!
And if you need some more someday
our address is NASA BLACK HOLE dot guv
where we can throw our money in
all day and never go broke!
NASA have spoke!
mo money$ mo money$ mo money$
© ron wilson (aka Vee Bdosa)
Categories:
guv, adventure, angst, art, black
Form: Double Dactyl
I have no beef with Halloween per se
Tho' 'tis like a vast guv-mint giveaway
'Tis a scheme to spread the wealth
As kids shake me down with stealth
I aim to keep socialism at bay
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 4 in John Freeman's "Halloween Limerick" Contest - November 2010
Categories:
guv, funny, holiday, halloween,
Form: Limerick