Funny Gothic Poems

Down in hell, that stronghold of sin.
strange things stir, but let me begin.
I'll get to the point. Some details I'll skimp.
I tell the tale of...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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Wormwood

There is a place, 
in the middle of nowhere... now. (hushed whisper) 
It is hot and cooking,
and yet...things are green. 
Nature has taken back, 
what...

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Accidental Words

Whispers I should not have heard. 
Things "said"
that have gone way wrong. 
It was just a party. 

It began with, "I don't want to...

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The Office

There are at least a dozen people waiting. 
They are in various degrees of need. 
Desperate for answers…
“They” will not receive here. 
But the...

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Malevolent demon,
Exploiter of pure malice,
And funny business,

Sif's whorish haircut
Enraged Thor, then soothes gods,
With tripartite gifts,

Goaded Balder's death,
Had perverse shape-shiftier Thokk
More appeasing piques,

Clings Narvi's bowels,
Whilst pains...

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Have you ever seen a ghost?
Flittering all around
Or maybe a dark shadow
Floating off the ground

Maybe you heard a funny sound
You did not recognise
Or a face...

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I'm a Zombie girl...In a Barbie world.
My body bag is plastic...It's fantastic!
I creep at night...In the moonlight.
My scars do gleam...I'll make you scream!
My skin is...

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by Aspartameloaf

Bug-eyed lady ugly lady
Strolling slowly towards the sun
Bug-eyed lady cavern's lady
Child of hellhounds, friend to none....

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How bright your eyes of cerulean blue
Look out from your porcelain face my dear
I saw those ivory teeth and I knew
That crimson blood would be...

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The house was full
Of Gods and deities
The curtain call was soon
The water vasos were poured
And became the finest of wines
The bread multiplied
The baker you see
Was...

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 The clock with no hands
Will appear on everyone’s walls
Time, it took to find you
When the midnight hour approaches
Do not run
For I have found you
So,...

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Note to self: Never again read 'The Monk' 
by Mathew Gregory Lewis 
before drinking myself into a diabetic coma...

...All night long
The Wandering Jew requested directions...

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once a knight named galahad

prayed for an olympiad

walking into a church

the people besmirched

now he is a nom-y-ad.
...

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I'm heading home -  I have a date    
Chills play my spine - I pass my gate    

Time...

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