Funny Garden Poems

One bee out of many in  f l i g h t~~~~
Arrived in my garden in f  r  i
   ...

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The limericks piled in his yard
Made mowing and maintenance hard.
The blade would get stuck
When nonsense it struck,
The handle from hyperbole jarred.
...

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I went outside to pee
Underneath the cactus tree
But now I'm in the Ho Spittle
The cactus fell on me.

Oh the cactus tree the cactus tree
I went...

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My garden plots my demise 
Haunts me like a living soul
The care I give is appreciated, yet expected
Each time I weed takes a toll

When it's...

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I f*cking love the rain.
Storms are even better. 
I love to hear of your canceled plans
As you stand there, getting wetter

 I adore the miserable...

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Some don’t notice that I’m truly fruity
They’ll often add salt, like that’s their duty
Juicy and ripe to my core
Sweeter than you might ask for
I’m sure...

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As the garden grows…


This one is For Sythia  
       Rose may not agree  
She’s the one who...

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I was with them in gardens 
                    Planting some vegetables.
              ...

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Some humour for the day. The seagulls treat me like I'm here to feed them, even though I use tiny birdseed to feed the little...

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A ladybird landed, on my hand today,
And looked at me, in a peculiar way.
It stretched it’s legs, and opened its wings,
As birds flew by, soft...

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fine new fernery
two forgotten dahlias
innocently bud...

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Goats... 

They are funny creatures, little goats. 
They make you laugh, 
when the world 
is not funny. 
They know how to have fun, 
in the...

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I was a very enthusiastic gardener, who loved being surrounded by beauty,
Like the songbirds that visit cherry trees, with a taste for something fruity.

I adored...

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In the Garden

There are giant rabbits, 
in the garden we just planted. 
I know because I have seen them. 
None are carrying a watch you...

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Well, darn--I wish bushes grew faster.
That might help me avoid a disaster.
What is a buzz-maestro supposed to do
when a Hummer takes nectar from you?

I've buzzed...

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