Funny Garden Poems

One bee out of many in flight
Arrived in my garden in fright
It danced on my cup
Then sucked up a sup
And stung through my glove out...

Read More

The limericks piled in his yard
Made mowing and maintenance hard.
The blade would get stuck
When nonsense it struck,
The handle from hyperbole jarred.
...

Read More

I went outside to pee
Underneath the cactus tree
But now I'm in the Ho Spittle
The cactus fell on me.

Oh the cactus tree the cactus tree
I went...

Read More

My garden plots my demise 
Haunts me like a living soul
The care I give is appreciated, yet expected
Each time I weed takes a toll

When it's...

Read More

I f*cking love the rain.
Storms are even better. 
I love to hear of your canceled plans
As you stand there, getting wetter

 I adore the miserable...

Read More

Some don’t notice that I’m truly fruity
They’ll often add salt, like that’s their duty
Juicy and ripe to my core
Sweeter than you might ask for
I’m sure...

Read More

As the garden grows…


This one is For Sythia  
       Rose may not agree  
She’s the one who...

Read More

I was with them in gardens 
                    Planting some vegetables.
              ...

Read More

Some humour for the day. The seagulls treat me like I'm here to feed them, even though I use tiny birdseed to feed the little...

Read More

A ladybird landed, on my hand today,
And looked at me, in a peculiar way.
It stretched it’s legs, and opened its wings,
As birds flew by, soft...

Read More

fine new fernery
two forgotten dahlias
innocently bud...

Read More

Goats... 

They are funny creatures, little goats. 
They make you laugh, 
when the world 
is not funny. 
They know how to have fun, 
in the...

Read More

I was a very enthusiastic gardener, who loved being surrounded by beauty,
Like the songbirds that visit cherry trees, with a taste for something fruity.

I adored...

Read More

In the Garden

There are giant rabbits, 
in the garden we just planted. 
I know because I have seen them. 
None are carrying a watch you...

Read More

Well, darn--I wish bushes grew faster.
That might help me avoid a disaster.
What is a buzz-maestro supposed to do
when a Hummer takes nectar from you?

I've buzzed...

Read More