Funny Garden Poems

The sun is high in the summer sky
And no clouds to be seen
The grass is high neath the summer sky
And growing tall and green
The mower...

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It's a dirty little business
And I've never stooped so low
But if I stay here long enough
I'll dig myself a hole

There's trouble all around
And death to...

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I have to come clean as I return to see 
your ashen corpse and dried leaves  
My survival became more important than yours 
but...

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One bee out of many in  f l i g h t~~~~
Arrived in my garden in f  r  i
   ...

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The limericks piled in his yard
Made mowing and maintenance hard.
The blade would get stuck
When nonsense it struck,
The handle from hyperbole jarred.
...

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I went outside to pee
Underneath the cactus tree
But now I'm in the Ho Spittle
The cactus fell on me.

Oh the cactus tree the cactus tree
I went...

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My garden plots my demise 
Haunts me like a living soul
The care I give is appreciated, yet expected
Each time I weed takes a toll

When it's...

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I f*cking love the rain.
Storms are even better. 
I love to hear of your canceled plans
As you stand there, getting wetter

 I adore the miserable...

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Some don’t notice that I’m truly fruity
They’ll often add salt, like that’s their duty
Juicy and ripe to my core
Sweeter than you might ask for
I’m sure...

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As the garden grows…


This one is For Sythia  
       Rose may not agree  
She’s the one who...

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I was with them in gardens 
                    Planting some vegetables.
              ...

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Some humour for the day. The seagulls treat me like I'm here to feed them, even though I use tiny birdseed to feed the little...

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A ladybird landed, on my hand today,
And looked at me, in a peculiar way.
It stretched it’s legs, and opened its wings,
As birds flew by, soft...

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fine new fernery
two forgotten dahlias
innocently bud...

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Goats... 

They are funny creatures, little goats. 
They make you laugh, 
when the world 
is not funny. 
They know how to have fun, 
in the...

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