Husband Funny Poems

I was married,
but to me, it wasn’t marriage.
It was poverty-induced—
a fate sealed by hunger and silence.

I was an orphan,
taken in by my mother’s brother—
the uncle...

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(A country song to my hubby…read this with a Loretta Lynn voice)

Verse one:

Well, my man is the kind who likes to unwind 
with a BudLight...

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The way he gazes at the moon, 
Doesn't quite feel right; every day he has a different tune. 
I envy his starlight, the perfect fit...

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a widow she lived in village by the river
at forty five her looks made men in town quiver,
married four times she was looking for another,
a...

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Gogyokha

The heart-throb telling me about
a lovely pigeon, Habiba(Heart-desire)
courage & strength upon my mind
'tis tagging to love her lingeringly
I promise to be your husband....

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My husband is over protective.
Less stress is his doctor's objective.
But with two teens at home,
Always on the damn phone,
"Let go" isn't always effective!

My teen daughter...

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No so funny, man,
Feeding me spam,
Morbidly yours, all right,
More verbs, how blight,
Don't waste your words,
You're beyond absurd,
Negative chaff and chatter,
Really does not matter,
Get over yourself,...

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“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em, 
any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”
      ...

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We went to the movies, just for a lark.
It was so romantic, there in the dark.
Now, if I told you I met her inside,
You would...

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Scene
An old bakery with traditional baked food on display.
Husband(H) and wife (W) and the baker (B) at the store!
The Wife and Baker are in love...

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Funny/Bawdy Limerick

Spoiled Milk

The milk man and Sue like to shag.
"The milkman sure digs me," she'd brag.
Well the milk man delivered!
And Sue sure got the shivers!
But...

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		 Hobble Hobble Hobble0
      Written for Cedarville Librarian Julie.

Absolutely no pressure on that knee for 6 weeks.
They gave me crutches...

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They say that breaking up is tough,
now I know that it’s true,
one day we’ll go separate ways,
and all the blame’s on you.

Maybe we shared some...

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onyun soup a bind that ties

spousey wins pulitzer prize

recipe steep

with onyun weep

so tasty it closes eyes.
...

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in this mug chicken noodles

spousey makes whole caboodles

evry single day

chases colds away

gets me back to my doodles.
...

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