Foul Up Poems


Premium MemberLike Oxygen

If sound waves 
travel the air waves
do we breath them in
like oxygen
to sustain us?

Do they foul up
our bodily functions
like politicians foul up
the body politic
and don't get caught?

Breath in breath out
go to sleep 
and pay no attention
to the monsters
under the bed!
Categories: foul up, political,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberWTFWT - A Brewed Surprise

At the coffee shop, a chap walked in,
Ordered a latte, wore a sly grin.
With a carrot, he stirred, no spoon in sight,
Perplexed, I stared, as my thoughts took flight.

The buzzing barista continued her work,
Same as the patrons, did not notice the quirk.
In loud sounds of chat, my mind left to wander,
A carrot in coffee? A concept to ponder!

No others had noticed by time he had gone, 
And I said, "WTFWT, on this very dawn?" 
The insanity of sighting a veggie conductor,
Beta carotene coffee? A caffeine constructor!

Alas, I sipped my drink, a secret to declare,
Not java but whiskey, the truth now laid bare.
A twist in my brew, a profound virtuoso,
Special ingredient that gives coffee its mojo.

The buzz in the shop matched the buzz in my cup,
Unraveled the mystery of the orange root foul-up.
At end, the coffee shop's great unsurprise,
Was due to my whiskey, not his carrot supplies!
Categories: foul up, funny,
Form: Free verse


Muscle Bound

Are we heading for the same fate as civilisations past?
As we grow too fast,
On too big a repast.

Our muscles bound up in red tape,
Bending us into the wrong shape,
To look more like an ape.

Taking happy pills,
Instead of paying the bills,
Only a few heading for the hills.

People on high horses, going nowhere,
As we foul up the atmosphere,
Spending too much time in the air.

Those in command no longer wearing chains,
Free to turn off the mains,
Is there anyone free of muscle pains?

Can we at least check the size of our boots?
Look at the colour of our suits,
And go easy on eating too many fruits.

Maybe there is still time,
For some of us to shine,
And set it all to Rhyme.
Categories: foul up, analogy, animal, autumn, blue,
Form: Imagism

National No-Foul-Up Day

Check the calendar, it’s that special day!
Whether it’s sunny, raining, or hailing.
And none of that scat matters anyway,
Because today's not the day for failing!

Rejoice! It’s National No-Foul-Up Day!
No, it's just not a good day to blow it.
At your job, you shouldn’t suck anyway,
And there's just no better way to show it!

For today, you're working with human beings
Every darn bit as important as you.
Getting it right is the one single thing
To be sure that you definitely do!

Not today! You too can be a hero!
No foul-ups! Didn’t you get the memo?!?

3/21/16
Categories: foul up, funny, humor, work,
Form: Sonnet

Premium MemberLove Those Aussies

Often wondered bout people down under
Do they have to stand on their heads?
Do they have to tie down all their possessions?
Is flying off into space a real dread?

We hope they all stay attached to the earth
We love them and their Koala bears
Once I was told by this Australian lady
Their breath can sure foul up the air

All my Aussie friends here on the Soup
Refer to their land as paradise
I was also told that the biceps on their women
Are huge from hanging on for dear life

Now I know this must be some great myth
Olivia John seemed quite normal to me
You can't believe all the rumours you hear
But in case, hang onto to that tree!

Often wondered bout people down under
How do they keep their beer in the glass?
Do they chain themselves to the bed at night?
Do roots pop up instead of grass?


© Jack Ellison 2015
Categories: foul up, humorous, tribute,
Form: Quatrain


Premium MemberThe Spokesman

I am the Council spokesman
 sat here in my darkened room
 I'm only dragged out in those times of
 misery and gloom.
 Whenever there's a foul-up or
 a bitter pill to swallow
 my very anonymity means
 my words won't sound too hollow.
 For concerts, openings, grand events
 with VIP's to meet
 plus free food and publicity
 then you'll see the elite.
 They'll embrace all of the kudos
 parading for the world to see,
 but when it all goes belly up, the
 phone call is for me.
 Excuses at the ready, say my piece
 then cut and run
 into my fall-out bunker, no,
 it isn't that much fun.
 Still when disaster strikes again
 I'm here when duty calls
 since those in power haven't the
 sincerity or the courage.
Categories: foul up, humor,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberFarts

Dear wife Cathie is always saying
“Ain't no insanity in our family
Coz you dear hubby, you have it all”
Overflowing with a bunch of sillies

“You don't leave any for anyone else”
Pretty damn heartless of me
Sorry I don't mean to be a great big hog
Been loony since the age of three

Rating my farts is really important
Tells me if my diet's working good
Too much fibre, and that obnoxious odour
Can foul up the whole neighbourhood

Realize this is not a subject for a poem
But I had to unload it on someone
What are friends for but to help out friends
To help in control of one's bum

Dear wife Cathie is always saying
Ain't no insanity in our family!

© Jack Ellison 2013
Categories: foul up, addiction, humorous,
Form: Quatrain

At Nightfall

When this time, foul up and dull, passes away.
When all contrivances light untangle.
When the grave-digger is himself entombed.
	Where’ll your hiding place be?
	Stock your arsenals,
	Store your bullion,
	Mere matters they’ll become.
When the earth’s table turns,
When its element is burnt,
When its clock strikes its last,
	I will quietly lie
	And stir no more.
	Perhaps, we’ll wake
	into a new day.
Categories: foul up, life,
Form: Didactic

Premium MemberAussies

Often wondered bout people down under
Do they have to stand on their heads?
Do they have to tie down all their possessions?
Is flying off into space their dread?

We hope they all stay attached to the earth
We love them and their cute little bears
Once I was told by this Australian lady
Their breath can sure foul up the air

All my Aussie friends here on the Soup
Refer to their land as paradise
I was also told that the biceps on women
Are huge from hanging on for dear life

Now I know this must be some great myth
Olivia's seemed quite normal to me
You can't believe all the rumours you hear
But in case, hang onto to that tree!

Often wondered bout people down under
How do they keep their beer in their glass?
Do they chain themselves to the bed at night?
Do roots pop up instead of grass?

@Jack Ellison 2012
Categories: foul up, friendship, people, people, ,
Form: Quatrain
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