Oh, mommy and daddy, please hear my plea
Don't sit your children on Santa Claus' knee
He's too touchy feely
Eyes are hard and steely
He's soused from too many a martini
I hate to call ol' Saint Nick a boozer
But to tell the truth, he's just a loser
Soused more than a tiddly
He's not worth a diddly
Too much hooch turns...
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