Fred Feely Fingers

I have a bone to pick with the Wright Brothers who invented the plane. Those fellers created many problems for me that have become my bane! To fly the friendly skies nowadays is a pain in the **** provoking me to curse! The whole procedure exasperates me enough to hurl rocks at a rolling hearse! First, I must consult my perplexing computer to make a firm reservation, Then they route me on a dozen different flights to reach my destination! I must arrive at the airport three hours in advance of my scheduled flight, To be probed by Fred Feely Fingers of the TSA adding to my plight! I must pay an exorbitant amount for each of my bags that once flew free, And if I want a coke, peanuts, pillow or headphones there is another fee! The seats are so close I must rest my chin upon my knees or sit by an exit door, But I'll suffer 'twixt two fat ladies, for to sit by the door would cost me more! It's usually my bad luck to be strapped in near a kicking, screaming kid, Or little old ladies regaling me about their operations 'til I want to blow my lid! Next time I travel I'll hitchhike, hop a freight, or ride a Greyhound bus, To enable me to travel at my leisure, enjoy the scenery and eliminate all the fuss! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved