Touchy Feely Santa
Oh, mommy and daddy, please hear my plea
Don't sit your children on Santa Claus' knee
He's too touchy feely
Eyes are hard and steely
He's soused from too many a martini
I hate to call ol' Saint Nick a boozer
But to tell the truth, he's just a loser
Soused more than a tiddly
He's not worth a diddly
Too much hooch turns him into a schmoozer
Christmas tree. Decorated Christmas tree...
On your green branches, don't let Santa pee
He gets a bit foggy
Thinking he's a doggy
He'll lift a leg and expose his peewee
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