Dissipating Poems

because he is her grandson

her resolve loosened
because he is her grandson
dissipating grudge

his choices not hers
but she cannot love him less
pure true grandmas love

GOOD-BYE

Good-bye…
Simply a word?
What essence is encased
Within this single utterance?
The alchemy of optimism?
The enigma of uncertainty?

Good-bye…
A blend of hope and the unseen?
Fracturing moments of farewell?
Aromatic vows dissipating
In the fluxes of fate?
The chiaroscuro of existence?

Good-bye…
A poet's silent elegy
Where love, loss, and longing
Converge and dissolve?
A kaleidoscope of emotions, promises
Distilled into a single breath?

Good-bye…

abruptly shaken from my dream

Sleep shook my shoulder
I ignored her as long as I could
Inside my dream I was fascinating
People wanted my opinion
I was revered and esteemed
Not royalty, but treated like one

Sleep threw me into the mattress
I woke up gasping, struggling to understand
It felt like a meteorite had hit my chest
My breath was expelling at a rapid rate
My dream was dissipating

Sleep was satisfied
Harsh sound of the alarm clock
No one wanted my opinion this morning
I am invisible here
An old dried-up woman
No one hears or sees

My load burdens me

Trying to keep up but the load keeps me sinking, everyday a new struggle arise, my strength fail to keep up, the demand so high, running out of breath, while on my knees trying to pray.

Dismantling blows, from every direction, all aimed at fracturing my spirit, but still hope in the unknown, comforting my struggle. Snooping around for help, where none avails, my hopeless persuit.

Thought Earth was fun to be but mountains in my way, keep escalating, sometimes light in my tunnel run off with my strength, look for objects to lean on but all I have are these blade shoulders of mine, all as casualties from my survival war.

Trying to nurse my faith, the pressure sitting in so strong, breath in my lungs delapitates, beeping sound of my pulse, waving in dissipating sequences. This coffin I was brought to Earth in and today is not yet the day I give in.

 All I'm is a child of the soil but this soil try all means to consume the last of my least presence, if dust demand me back, never shall my struggle claim this victory

Price to Pay

Alone in a dark room, I watch my hands shake. Red marks on my arms, showing through the pale skin; obviously the result of emotional pain that refuses to withdraw and leave me alone. In the darkness of the night, my happiness fades away, slowly dissipating in an agonizing and painful way. There's no blood, but I'm hurt; there are no bruises, but I feel pain… what is happening? Well, if I knew, I don't think I would be in this situation, since I would know how to deal with it. Maybe it's just karma, this would be my punishment and the price to be paid for becoming who I have become.

— Akira Lewis.

Searching for a flawless dawn

Off the sharp edge of the world, am I stepping?
Do mirrors start whispering as shadows prepare to sing?
The way it looks through me, its soul swallowing
Where do I flee from here to delay from disappearing?
Pull me out, that I might find my reckoning
My feet grow weary of all this merciless sleepwalking
Deafening, I hear my heart softly breaking
Wandering through this maze; pining thoughts, forever aching
Pains past now present, a conclusions threading
Through every year, no cords cutting; my dreams were fruitless and fading
Am I found incorporeal, shy of dissipating?
The weight of sorrow is fully capable of suffocating
Falling out of love is hanging me by strands unyielding
Yet, in the blind, I continue seeking out light still glimmering
Searching for a flawless dawn; where my heart finds its healing
In this broken cardiac state, I find my reflection staring

Melancholy

                Apricity 
          golden, burnished 
     smiling, sunning, tanning
  Sauna, Humidity, Fever, Mirage
fleeting, dissipating, darkening 
          frozen, shadowy 
               Melancholy

Just Like You

I met someone who looked just like you.
The same brown eyes, set back enough to make out the outlines of your orbital bones.
The same smile lines that house years of laughter, joy, and perfectly frame your grin.
The same nose that harbors several insecurities, but is perceived as beautiful through my gaze.
She looked just like you.
Her voice was clearly different from yours.
Yours soothed me in the times I needed to hear you. It became my favorite song.
Her stature varied from yours.
You towered over me, but I felt colossal in your world.
Her scent was dissimilar.
Yours encased memories I would give anything to live again for the first time.
She looked just like you.
I will likely never see her again, like I won’t see you.
Both figures dissipating into a life that has no place for me. Walking along paths that won’t cross with mine.
I find peace in knowing that you are following the trail created for you. As I am doing the same.

To Find

Come find me
where roads have washed away
in tangled bits of cluster
and skies that turned to gray
come whisper
soothe a ringing ear
with words of hope and harmony
dissipating fear
fill the unapproachable
where misery's chained
living life unlivable
and love has long remained

Hospital Walls

hospital walls close in on my fears
sanitized stench of inevitable demise
dreadful trek of dissipating years
hospital walls close in on my fears
smothered by woozy breaths of tears
lanolium as white as overcast skies
hospital walls close in on my fears
sanitized stench of inevitable demise

hospital walls close in on my fears
dreadful trek of dissipating years
smothered by woozy breaths of tears
sanitized stench of inevitable demise
lanolium as white as overcast skies
shouding the hope of eternal ties

Arctic Winds

Once the fire goes out
it never comes back

The heat dissipating
all light to retract

Tomorrow in darkness
the future untold

To wander inclement
— left out in the cold

(The New Room: August, 2024)

Reinventing Time

Knowledge of the future
memories of the past
Caught within a final vacuum
dissipating fast 

Wanton disbelieving
 eyes are liars still
Perception changed then rearranged
sensation thrice distilled 

The philosophy of physics
 logicians burn and melt
Time but smirks as gravity flirts
 judgment prior dealt 

Memories of the future
knowledge of the past
Once you slow the ebb and flow
— the moment is recast 

(Dreamsleep: August, 2024)

The Dance of Dances Will You Take My Hand

My eyes gaze into twin hollow sockets. Behind it, a trail leading over the hill to a sepulcher. A ghastly cloaked apparition offers its hand. Bones intertwined with my flesh fingers. Waltzing, twisting, flora maelstrom around us. Verdant lush at our feet, hue shifts as we sweep. Beneath the umbra of silhouettes, a flurry of yellow. Behind us, grass blades turn to ashes, dissipating. Footfalls a tempest burst our past to wasteland. As we dance, hips sway our life on this gray line. Jump, orchestra piano solo, arms extend, violin string slips. Partner vanishes, I drop into a glass sarcophagus. Lid slams, scream as dirt pours in, shrieks are snuffed.You will find me in the garden, back turned. Windstorm of petals, I’m in the center there. I turn and offer you my hand, and the howling goes quiet. Snarl like grin spreads my countenance. Skin slowly peels, curls, and flakes away. Muscle, sinew, flesh are torn and ripped into the fray. Worms, maggots, beetles all engulf my frame. Meld, fuse, and forge into my black cloak
For now, I am death incarnate. To lead you to your mausoleum crypt. “Are you ready to dance with me?”

Listen Carefully

Early morn
          Two wide-set yellow eyes
            Peek through cobalt blue
              Remnants of last night's rain
                Wonderful water for all the plants and animals

Across the way
  Four lovely cedars or Cyprus stand
    Like sentinels guarding the road
      Lovely silvery green shines
        Washed and still wet with rain

Two mockingbirds
  Sing so joyfuly one to my left
    The other one to my right
      I wonder what they are discussing
        Responsibilities of parenthood or politics

The clouds
  Seem to be dissipating
    Or the sun has risen higher or a little of both
      I am wondering if there will be more rain today or will last night's shower
        Be all that we get, of course, we could use a little more

Soaking up
  The cool, damp, quiet
    The small amount of the morn that I can enjoy 
      Out on the porch
         Each second so precious

Close my eyes
   Listen carefully
     Perhaps I can catch
       An elusive susurrus of nature to carry through the day
         Filled with positive emotions, help me make it God

An unorthodox chair - Mustofa Anwar

An  unorthodox chair - Mustofa Anwar
Reciter: Shimul Mustapha


Tonight. It is almost five minutes past three now
Godsay ,  breathed the last.
Time decayed the form through ages, a lot, though
The poor soul died old, passed away, gone soul, dissipating now.
Godsay, a good fellow , was a good one to spare
Everyone was a source of reaching out, in glum and glee
And everyone was accessible to the call. Indeed, it is to be.
Somewhat closer was the soul, soothing the heartache, chest too.
Godsay, a good fellow, was a good one to spare.
Tonight, Godsay breathed the last, at last, there.
Godsay is no more among us, no longer
No longer shall be, no more anymore.

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