Dimwits Poems | Examples

Costa Del Essex?

Their ma & pa were Eastenders 

Blah blah..don’t remember the Blitz

Brash Cockney pretenders..same flash apparel

Let's get our mitts on a stash of Aperol spritz


Dimwits just going on benders

Bawdy tawdry mockney skits

Gits getting off their t*ts

Twits showing off their bits

Who fits?..Identikit Brits..pout

All about the clout of gaudy glitz


Silhouettes of stiletto dancers & handbags

Riff raff as naff as an 80’s cornetto

Perms & permatans..sl*gs..fancy dans in glad rags

Rhyming slang falsetto twang libretto


Chancers on a stag..s*ag nip & tuck hags

Nags of WAGS made up to the nines

Brag after cocaine lines did blag

One snag..look like a dag in drag


All from the fashion label stable

No restraint.. cannot refrain

Grandstand the brands fable 

Diadora diaspora ..Fila Villa

With a Pierre Cardin Jardin

Taint just like they do in Spain


Sex..success…the way you dress

Prosecco fizz...getting in a tizz

Gilded specs and builded pecs


Greed and that need to impress

Avoid don't feed this schadenfreude hell 

That is indeed called Costa Del ESSEX
Categories: dimwits, celebrity,
Form: Rhyme

Fore

Scots golfers do not 'golf'
as they say in the U.S.A.
invented in Scotland
it's as they ought
a sport the Scottish play
the first tennis player
known by name
(Louis X)
did not 'tennis'
when he played the game
even so I may one day
bend my elbow
consider the racket
and give it a go
looks like the language
is slowly downward drifting
and come this Christmas
you won't see me 'gifting'
when did a noun become a verb
misconjugated by ignorant clowns
as English is oft Yanked and twisted
by illiterate dimwits verbing nouns
Categories: dimwits, golf, humorous, sports, usa,
Form: Rhyme


Society as few know it

Veracious vanity about victories over 
veils shows vain values corrupted by 
vicious volatile villains in hopes for 
votive to vindicate, 
Grossly gluttons gain grains over 
gloomy groups of ghastly greiven gulls,
Foreign fighting by ferocious foes gets 
fulfilled here by fat-headed fools 
fulminating for their unknowing fatalities, 
Deep dark derivatives of evil dance daily 
drawing delusional dimwits to drown 
devishly in damnation, 
Multimedia manipulates millions 
maliciously magnifying multitudes of 
mass misguided many, 
Local laws layover latitudes of laundered 
logistics layering subliminal taxations 
lowering lifestyles lived by the 
Land of the Limited.
Categories: dimwits, allusion, political, society,
Form: Alliteration

Backbencher Polymath

Was Backbencher 
Academics Top Ranker 
Sports Medal Winner 
Dramas ace Performer 

Backbencher Teachers pain 
Not all dimwits and vain 
Real life, celebrity genes in vein 
Adept user of Left, Right Brain

For pranks often punished 
Outside class, when I stood 
Am not stupid, mind brooded 
Am Polymath, briefly muted 
______________________________
© Dr Hitendra Mehta, India ????

PS : The words are Reality of my School days, presented in poetic way. Have received Awards for Polymath attribute.
Categories: dimwits, school,
Form: Free verse

Fourth and Four

Adjust and move four words for worth/ 
Aghast at July 4th I’ll power forward north / 
Away from what’s been uncovered worse than I’ve ever been coerced
I devour and nourish as the demeanor looks gorgeous/
He could just be mean and cook gorges/
Or spree clean to book and flee out of storage in the mind/
Got to get adorned oranges to be hoarded all timed and primed/
For the reminiscence of my minutes to cinch/
Or seconds to seize as I inch through this decadence towards reverence/
I’ll replenish and diminish the sacks and lost yardage/ 
It’s 4th and 4 hence the past porridge to sift in historic pork/
Let’s get to the meat of the stork like underneath the bark of an oak/
I won’t sulk I’ll spark and soak in my marinade/
I stare and gaze with a glare and a glaze/
Going through phase after phase/
Placed in places where there are no choices just voices/
Demands, directions, reprimands and disciplinary actions for noises/
Their discrete dealings and doings drive dimwits down from poises/
Disillusioned durations debunk the punk directly to become disinfected from a disenchanted situation and he rejoices
Categories: dimwits, angst, anxiety, art, character,
Form: Rhyme


Foolish Folly

Foolish folly in the house of putrid politics
Dirty deeds up their sleeves double-dealing tricks
Forgetting the homeless, ignoring the poor
Though staying between the lines of the law
Oh ! And the law, well that’s another story
One suggesting a lavish lavatory!
For the criminal not for the upstanding 
Not for the meek though only demanding
Yes the pecking order is quite transparent 
With suited criminals all apparent 
Trickling down such bad behaviour
Praying to my only saviour-
Please help them to sow seeds of decency 
Awaken the blind to the difference of recency 
For this society unravels the very pits
When ruled by a bunch of moronic dimwits 
With crime through the roof that hinders well-being
Many are silent with sickness from seeing
The defeated and shattered upon a tightrope
Without any justice-there is no hope!
Categories: dimwits, hope, people, political, words,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberA Plane Flat Earther Reminder

A Plane Flat Earther Reminder



                                  This is merely my suggestion

                                   I'm not contriving a rebellion


                                                Now then___


                           If you believe that Earth is downright Flat

                           Yell, "All aboard!" sit those buns on a train

                           But if your brains decide you guys are nuts

                           Admit you are dimwits get up on the plane!










Penned: 1/20/2022
             4:18 a.m.
             Lake Worth
             Florida USA
Categories: dimwits, humor, satire,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberA Limerick For Jan

A lovely young lady lives on the Isle of Man
She writes bawdy limericks whenever she can
She takes a few hits
From jealous dimwits
Who can’t write them nearly so well as can Jan.

POEM OF THE DAY on July 10, 2021
59TH ON 100 BEST POEMS OF THE PAST MONTH on July 11, 2021
51ST ON 100 BEST POEMS OF THE PAST MONTH on August 8, 2021
written July 9, 2021
Categories: dimwits, humorous, tribute,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberWeather Retort

Dimwits say, he said with disdain
When cows lay down it’s going to rain
And if those cows decide to stand
The day will be a lot less bland
But if some lay and some are stood?
Explain that one if you would.
But that didn’t throw me for hours
Easy I said... scattered showers
Categories: dimwits, weather,
Form: Rhyme

Innocent Perpetrator

He was accused as a predator turns out that he was the prey,
A mere bystander but accused as a culprit,
Locked up in the jail 'till his hair turns into grey.

Pleading for justice but it always sway,
Was charge into a crime he didn't commit,
He was accused as a predator turns out that he was the prey.

An innocent life was betrayed,
To be killed or he's the killer, he must admit,
Locked up in the jail 'till his hair turns into grey.

Money is hideous fiends' cue to obey,
To simply close their eyes and tilt their dignity a bit,
He was accused as a predator turns out that he was the prey.

Injustice can be seen anywhere, so cliché,
Impeccable human suffers because of the dimwits,
Locked up in the jail 'till his hair turns into grey.

Truth always prevail they say,
When will it happen? He's sinless, needs to be acquit,
He was accused as a predator turns out that he was the prey,
Locked up in the jail 'till his hair turns to grey.
Categories: dimwits, betrayal, confusion, innocence, political,
Form: Villanelle

Premium MemberUnmasking the Masquerade

Copycat Chinstrap penguins I see you everywhere,
In shopping malls on buses mocking our precious air, 
Why wear a mask underneath your chin,
Then go about in public donning an imbecilic grin,

Maybe I’m missing something the gills on your neck,
No I’m sure only fish have them, last time I checked, 
Tracheostomy covers masking up your tubes, 
Dimwits would you wear knickers on your boobs,

But hey it’s ok, nobody will ever notice, 
Thinking we’re all dumb as you, theres the real injustice.

Podium placing promise(2) Poetry Contest
Sponsor by Brian strand 30/12/20
Categories: dimwits, allusion, how i feel,
Form: Rhyme

Noblesse Oblige

Painstaking plumes of surest gait
To wield diamond steel over fate;
With slow pair of wit-guarded lips,
As otiose words sway great ships. 

Invincible flair and exacting knack
To stand out from the frothy pack;
Ochred with all blue-penciled skill,
For nabob’s dimwits do mimic still. 

With the far-scanning aquiline eye
That fowls unborn miles like a spy;
Plus an ear for tiniest voices tuned,
For idlest vowel by vagaries ruined.

Gigantic empathy for pinched souls
Hewn down by lot’s inclement fouls;
Felt tear for fellow wayfarers stung
By blunt luck's blade rashly swung. 

A little but constant sacrifice betimes,
For bereft chum eschewed by dimes;
Or even total strangers in want of bail
Out of a jinx along existence’s icy sail.
Categories: dimwits, allegory, anxiety, blessing, care,
Form: Didactic

Premium MemberSarcastic Star

Ok, you humans down there, making wishes on us stars
with “Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.”
Who the heck do you people think you are?
Why are you writing poems all the time like “Star Light, Star Bright”?
Of COURSE, we’re bright and a heck of a lot brighter than YOU.
Is sitting around making wishes all you can do?
Even waiting around to see which one of us will fall? The gall!
Good grief, you’d think to see a shooting star is the greatest thing of all!

Where did you come up with “count your lucky stars,” you dimwits?
You would die a billion deaths before you finished counting my friends and me.
I get laughs hearing your gaffes, but other than that, MY life is the pits!
I wish for YOU to make ME into a MOVIE star. I’d be a diva for an eternity!
Then I could really live it up in style, like you glitzy dolts down below.
Yeah, and keep “reaching for the stars.” Let’s see how THAT goes.

July 1, 2020 for Nina Parmenter's You Are A Star Poetry Contest
Categories: dimwits, star,
Form: Personification

Premium MemberThe Other Virus

There are two main problems
In this troubled world today
One is the pandemic
That refuses to go away.

The reason why this virus decided to stay
Is because the powers that be
Are determined to have their way
In handling this situation

They don't seem to have a clue.
Passing the buck to each other
Is all they seem to do

They take no responsibility
For the action, they are taking
Nearly every move they make
Is disaster in the making

Meanwhile this lethal virus
Is multiplying fast
Wondering I think
How much longer it can last

When will the dimwits
Come to their senses
And forget about the power
And start building fences
Categories: dimwits, 10th grade,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberAn Odd Note For Someone Named Hosen

Who are these lug nuts?
Who are these featherweights?
Who are these slum bums?
Who are these cretins?
Who are these dimwits?
Who are these bird brains?
Who are these crumb critters?
Who are these sad sacks?
Who are these dullards?
Who are these rum raisins?
Who are these nincompoops?
Who are these louts?
Who are these Jim Dandies?
Who are these meat heads?
Who are these brow beaters?
Who are these fuddy duddies?
They all live in my bones
And sing like Tom Jones.
We are the chosen.
Later, Hosen.
Categories: dimwits, funny,
Form: Free verse

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